When being important, really isn't important

I realized the other day that I am not a serious dude. Nope, can't say that when I wake up I run to the Tribune and try to read World News, then put on my tweed coat and wax on about the ills of the world. NO, I would much rather laugh. Weird concept I know, but I believe there are enough people out there pretending to sound important, and they really don't need me adding my hot wind to the mix. So today, I am bringing you reviews...
What will I be reviewing? Don't be so damn lazy and just read on....

A.
LUMEN - The Night Club - 839 W. Fulton - Have you ever been to a European Night Club? Like one of those joints u imagine being tucked into a cooler in the back of a Japanese Restaurant and only like ultra hip people know about it...well that is the vibe you get from this joint. It is sparse, wide open and definitely ultra cool. Cover...10 bucks. Taking a date their to listen to Electro Dance Music...priceless. Just to pretend to act cool is almost worth it. In reality, u have to love Electro Dance, but the place is beautiful. Simple, elegant, and definitely trendy.

B.
DJ Trancid - Dark Wave Disco - www.myspace.com/trancid - for those fans of electro/Dance...here u go. Thank me later. Hell, thank this guy...i highly recommend the skyline mix. See this man, and his DWD crew live, they are impressive. Throughout the night they kept spinning club bangers...legit club bangers, not that euro pop shit that is shoved down our throats. To add to it, the three of them would take turns switching off and bringing with their style and personality with each rotation. Trancid for his part is very electro, and would bring the more hardcore electro, almost industrial beat. Great set gentleman, even though i had to get past the Robert Smith haircuts. LIVING THINGS - BOM BOM BOM (Boyz Noize Remix)...

C.
Obama Inauguration Celebration - HBO - Very nicely done. It was a classic big boy rally done in probably the coolest place you can have a rally. If you have never been to DC let me tell you, the reflecting pool and all the monuments that make up the space are ridiculous. Did I have a Forrest Gump moment? Yeah, what can I say, I love that movie. Here are my more specific thoughts:
SHAKIRA...PLEASE NO!!! Stop singing in English, each note detracts from your legacy. You are getting close to be a joke with your goat voice. I love you. No, seriously, i will run away with you if u even look in my direction, but even i can't stand ur English singing voice. Are you beautiful? MOS DEF! Sexy...YEP!!! CAn you sing in English? NOT A FUCKING NOTE! Then you decide to tackle a Stevie song. I was half expecting Simon Cowell to rip you after the performance. Michelle Obama's face said it all..so did Barack's...he never took his eyes off ur leather clad ass...hell neither did i. I just happen to be listening to the performance on surround sound, so I couldnt avoid ur voice.
BARACK...just keep talking. Do what you do, because u are great so far. Too many people are freaking that we are hyping Mr. O too much, but doesn't that speak to more to the Fuck up he is following? People are hyping that you're awesome because your black...I am concentrating on the fact I have belief in you, and it has nothing to do with your Black.
U2....AND PALESTINE.....you said the 'p' word. HAHA..nice. So someone is not afraid to the take the side of the poor people getting bombed on in this stupid conflict. Oh, do i totally blame the Star of David folks..HELLS NO! Just that one day, in the future, we are going to look back and say, wow...what the fuck were we thinking. Great set too...Pride and in the Name of love...sick shit.
Stevie...just do what u do and do it well.

D.
Beyonce - Single Ladies - Please never write another song. Just don't. Oh, and you looked stunning during the Inaugural Celebration, except your mom should really stop dressing u. Your are a stunningly Beautiful woman...please just dont write anymore songs, and tell ur mom to grow up.

E.
Nip/Tuck - FX - No idea how i left this off the shows to watch list. Thanks Omar for helping me out there. Anyway, just watch the show. I won't beat u over the head about this...great show, weird stories, and good acting. Porn Star meth heads!!!

F.
TheWrestler - Mickey Rourke/Marissa Tomei - Please watch this movie if you like acting and the plight of human tragedy. Fantastic movie, and even though Marissa was totally miscast, THANK THANK THANK YOU for being in this movie. Yes she can act, and yes she is insanely hot. Give me this woman any day...naturally beautiful and obscenely hot. I need to take seat.

G.
DELIRIUM TREMENS BEER - Jaks Tap - ...find it, drink it...become a cult follower. So smooth and almost 10% alcohol per serving. PLEASE...find this muthafucka!!!

like liquidy water
-iz3y!