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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Things I think I think Vol 6

Hello Evildoers,

     It is I, Jokey Jokemaker, back with a fresh list of thoughts recently thought of in a state of prolonged thoughtfulness.  Here they are in no particular order.

1)  I am saddened once again by movies that are coming out.  I am most saddened by movies that took once-treasured childhood memories, and trashed the crap out of them.  Transformers, G.I Joe, even the freakin SMURFS have all been made into movie franchises in the last few years.  Yeah they made money, but they sucked.  in the long run, making money will always take a back seat to being good.  You look at movies out today, Twilight, jack and jill, and a host of other crappy movies, and I could live forever without wanting to see a single one.  If I had to rely on movie reviews, the movie with the most buzz, Melancholia, has made 1.8M dollars so far.  That was, I believe the amount of money the SMURFS used to animate Papa Smurf for 3 seconds.   You can never depend on Hollywood for anything new or amazing. The one time they do accidentally make something good,  they bury the formula.  Does anyone remember how many awards "The Shawshank Redemption won?

2)  Steve Jobs is still dead.  How ironic, that even though he was super rich and powerful, he died a stubborn fool.

3)  Amy Winehouse is still dead.  she was a drug-addled alcoholic that ws surrounded by leeches and yes-men when all she really needed was someone to tell her "No."

4)  I was out at a bar the other day, and I told a funny joke.  I instantly became the front runner for the GOP Presidency race. 

5)   I friend i have recently mentioned a desire to go to a Morrissey concert.  I laughed, as I thought him dead.  It turns out, it was just his creative drive and musical ability that died, way back on 1997's CD "Maladjusted."

6)  NBA Basketball will return to tv on December 25th.  I could care less, and as thousands of kids open their gifts that morning 2 things come to mind.  First, the number of children who will not have gifts that day, or even a warm place to stay.  Second will be Latrell Spreewell's inability to feed his children.

7)  Reality tv is spiralling out of control.   I hear that there is talk of some new show about mailmen to the rich and famous.  This comes on the heels of some really garbage shows.  Shows about women or men who sleep with NBA players, baseball players,  B-list actors, C-list Actors, Ashton Kutcher, any Kardashian, any housewife, any video vixen, flavor flav,  or having 8 children with a weird looking Filipino dude rule the airwaves.  I have three development deals in the works, so maybe I am not the best judge.  but tv really sucks right now. 

8)  Regular TV sucks too.  the only shows that are watchable, have either gone off the rails.  i tried watching American Horror Story , but the whole "Is he  ghost or isn't he?," bored the shit out of me.  The Walking Dead is off the air until February, and FX has not aired anything of substance since The SHIELD or LOUIE.   Thank goodness for netflix and obscure foreign movies.

9)  How bad is the state of music when you say to yourself, "That sounds like garbage, I would rather make my own."  I look forward to the day when music gets back to being good enough to have on in the background while you vacuum or mow the lawn.

10)  Things I am down on this week:  The BEARS, Herman Cain, Republicans, the   CUBS, Obama, The San Diego Chargers, Kenny Williams, Chris Paul, David Stern,
Eskimos, coldplay, and Russia.

11)  Things I am up on this week:  Tim Tebow, Cuna Lounge, bashing Morrissey, making my own mix of fresh beats and crunchy tracks, Ndeomakon Suh spiralling out of control, a more balanced union, a flat tax, the Patriots taking it easy on the colts, our troops at home and overseas, kim kardashiass fighting to stay relevant, Kim not looking like KHLOE, and giving to the the salvation army. 

See you next week.  For now, I remain, Jokey Jokemaker

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Jimmy Carter of my sister's generation...

1. President Obama is a one term-er. There are several reasons why, but one reason recently became a revelation to me--the Black "elite" are abandoning him. Yes the same Negros that felt President Obama wasn't "black" enough when he was a candidate, flipped the script just enough to get him elected, and now feel slighted, disrespected and cheated from the lack of "lookin out" Obama has done for Black people. Gays got DADT repealed. Latinos got a supreme court justice. Black folks got...Eric Holder?

Specifically, the educated, money makin Negros feel like Obama should have stacked the courts with Black judges, there should be more Black U.S. Attorneys, the inspector general and the head of the CDC should be Black, etc. etc. Here is where I need to part with the thinking of my more militant peoples--this line of thinking is just ignorant.

Firstly, just because our President is Black, doesn't mean he can (or should) "black out" the government. Secondly, what's to guarantee that once placed in key positions, these Black folks would actually prove to be a benefit to the Black community? Clarence Thomas is widely considered to be one of the more detrimental forces to Black civil rights since he's been on the bench. Last I checked he's got more melanin in his skin than my entire maternal blood line. Lastly, even if recommended, these folks would need to get approved by Congress--the President can't even get a resolution to change the kind of toilet paper used in the white house passed these days, so what makes anyone think a slew of Negros would get affirmed as cabinet/judicial appointments?

Clearly as the first black president, Obama was put in a lose-lose situation. He either couldn't do enough or would do too much when it came to Black people. It seems that some people don't understand that as President, the man is responsible for ALL AMERICANS. Because you know, he can't win re-election with just 12% of the population of the country voting for him.

With the way politics work in this city, I wouldn't be surprised if Obama doesn't carry certain wards in 2012. Just know if that's the case, it will be because the "Black elite" bailed on his ass.

2. Newt Gingrich is pulling out George Bush tricks, a.k.a. scare tactics. Gingrich is painting President Obama as an "activist", someone who wants to "shake things up" so much that it will ruin the lives of his biggest demographic--old, crusty white folks. Should this idea take root, this would be yet another reason Obama gets only one term. Droves of people (mainly under the age of 40) got out to vote in 2008 to put Obama in office. Should HALF those people stay home in 2012, baby-boomers will carry more power, and Obama will be done. He's already polling like Carter, he might as well just change his name now.

3. Finally, on non-political note, I propose we end every blog entry for the remainder of 2011 with a picture of Kim's ass. Because we can never get enough of Kim's ass around here...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

From the Land of "NOSHITREALLY?"

“Kim Kardashian was stunned by the amount of bad press and the public relations nightmare she has endured since deciding to file for divorce, so she will be the focus of her tv shows to rehab her image.  The upcoming season will feature Kim Kardashian as the “victim” and Kris Humphries as the “lazy and insensitive” villain.  

Kim Kardashian has been raked over the coals in the court of public opinion ever since she filed for divorce from Kris Humphries. But we're supposed to believe that the real villain in the 72-day marriage, pals tell the tabloids, was out-of-work NBA star Karl  Humphries?   The articles say that he was mean and that he could be downright cruel to Kardashian.

“He belittled her in front of people,” one insider tells Us. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.  He tried to control Kim by bringing her down…He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.  He even took exception to her world-famous fat ass, by calling her fat-ass,   the source says.  And when Kardashian (who rarely drinks and tends to go to bed early) asked her man to skip the nights out in favor of quality time, “He would tell her she was acting like too much of a wife and ‘get over it.”

     Holy Fucking shit!  Really?  Really?  The article adds that Humphries resented his wife’s fame and fortune. The same fortune she got by fucking Ray-J, and negotiating a settlement and piece of every porno tape sold.  The same fortune that parlayed the family from a bunch of nobodies to a family of no talent schmucks and Bruce Jenner.  The same fortune that was built on a foundation of being a party girl, and charging for making appeareances at nightclubs and bars.   Lets make no mistake here, no one thinks she is famous for her cd's, workout videos, or clothing lines.  All of that fame. money, fake wedding publicity is a direct result of letting Ray-J stick his cock in her face.    The only difference between Kim and Monica Lewinsky, is that Kim KNOWS she is a fucking sham.  Monica recently turned 50, and was complaining about why no one takes her seriously, but thats a whole other blog. 

     To summarize,  Kim put on an elaborate sham with a man she dated for a few months, made 17M in endorsements, and divorced in 72 days, and I am supposed to feel bad for her?  She got it twisted thinking that Kevin Humphries married her for love.  He knew the game, he knew that is he marries her, he gets some sex, and a whole lot of money on the back end.  In this case, on the FAT end.    Kim kardashian will try to position herself as the new Jennifer Anniston, Sandra Bullock, or any other woman who has had a man treat them bad.  But that would be doing a disservice to Tina Turner, and all the women who have overcome real problems to overcome.  I could care less about whether or not Kim makes it thorugh these tough times, she will always have porn to fall back on.  In fact, I'm counting on it.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Why President Obama failed on the economy

When President Obama was elected, he thought he'd be able to apply Eisenhower-esque solutions to our countries economic problems. Except for he missed something pretty important--Eisenhower was able to do what he did because the country (dare I say the globe) was in an economic depression. In 2008 we weren't yet in a depression, we were only headed there but still in a recession. In order for President to "save" our country he should have allowed the economy to collapse into a depression.

By now you've already assumed "this guy isn't the brightest crayon in the box." When it comes to economics you'd be right. But there are some basic economic principals at play here that the President and his advisers sort of ignored. Like the value of the U.S. dollar goes down when more people have dollars. This is called "inflation." The solution isn't to give people more money--the solution is to take money out of circulation. Prices will then go down because hell, fewer people have money to spend. It's not like throwing money at the problem has forced companies to hire people, so the layoffs that would ensue from price correction are something that happened anyway (perhaps not at the same level they would had we not bailed out everyone and their mother but still). Bringing the 1920s back would have allowed Obama to strong arm republicans into growing government to keep the safety net in tact; instead the safety net is fraying as the government tries to cut spending. New enterprises would grow out of necessity as people would turn to hustling. The 20s had bootlegging; the 80s had crack--who knows what would have arisen in the 2000s?

Granted, going from a capitalist country to a socialist one isn't necessarily the answer either. But this quasi-sociocapitalism isn't working. True capitalism would have allowed AIG and the auto industry to fail. But true capitalism recognizes additional enterprises would have sprang up to replace those institutions, perhaps doing what they did smarter and more efficiently.

Making matters worse is that our governments are now nickel and dime-ing the citizenry (and to some extent their own employees) in order to make up for keeping the safety net in tact as the economy tries to stay afloat or "bounce back." Only problem is the economy can only bounce back after it has a chance to hit the floor. By not letting the ball drop all the way, President Obama failed us.

Monday, November 14, 2011

The NBA, too big to succeed?

NBA players reject league offer; begin to disband union


     It is I, The handsome Righthander, here to tell you that nothing of consequence has happend in sports lately.  "Wrong!" you say?  well to hell with you.  If you are one of the few people who is ignorant  and just a foolish fool in general, this blog is not for you.  In fact, by blog's end, you may not like me very much.  Don't worry, I will still continue to live my life without your support.  I will find a way to go on.  I will go on, much like the way the world has moved on without the NBA.  Just take a look at the picture above.  REALISTICALLY, how many players can you name? I got up to six.  I mean really, if you cannot even get your stars to come out and support the cause that puts food on your fucking table, how bad is your situation, and why should the average fan care?  Where is LeBron, Kobe, and all the torchbearers that will usher the NBA into new levels of prosparity?   I would even settle for Amare Stoudamire and his dumbass glasses.   After months of knowing that the league was going to take a hardline stance, you threaten to decertify and sue the league?  Why now, why not 8 months ago?  You face a situation where you have no leverage, no fans, and no supporters.  Plans of Players to start their own league have fizzled, plans to play in Europe have fizzled, and worse, the fanbase support has fizzled.  No one wants to see Carmelo Anthony the accountant, or Kevin Garnett the lawyer.  I also understand that No one pays to see Jerry Riensdorf hoop either.  Basketball is the single thing that made these people interesting, and they are no longer doing it.  "But Dewayne Wade is a clothing designer now,"  you say?  "Who gives a shit"  I say. 

 Your constituency is losing money every day, and has no financial backers to help defer costs.  NBA Player rep President Derek Fisher  and Union rep Billy Hunter have allowed egos to get in the way of making the best deal possible for the players.    People will find out soon enough just how replaceable the NBA is when they realize that Soccer is being marketed more aggressively to local bar owners. 

Who knows, maybe its just me, maybe I am too cynical.  Maybe only I think that players like Rashard Lewis making 18M per year, and are the 3rd option on their team are crazy.  I remember when Micheal Jordan made 6M, Toni Kukoc made 4M, and Pippen made 1.8M.  market value would have paid Jordan about 100M a year for all he brought to the league at that time.  He freakin SAVED the nba, and EVEN HE could not break 10 mil until his last 2 contracts at 33 and 36 M per year.  You mean to tell me Rashard Lewis deserves to make more last year than Pippen did in 11?   Owners have a right to demand concessions, owners have a right to pay what they want to pay, high or low.  Players have a right to either pay for that money, or go back to law school.  Players make too much, owners pay too much, and the league had owners losing money last year.  The whole model is out of whack and needs to be re-assessed.

     If you own a team, you should meet certain standards.  You should expect to be able to spend  a certain amount of money, and you should expect to make a certain amount of money.  You should not be a Donald Sterling and be thrifty to earn your money, nor should you pull a Jerry Colangelo, and blow your wad and decimate your team for years to come.  If you are a player, you should be aware that your ability to hoop is a gift, and your responsibility to manage as best possible.  Ask Antione Walker (bankrupt), Scottie Pippen (Bankrupt), and Craig Hodges (took a college coaching job and after 2 years had a 8-51 record, I mean this MF'er wone CHAMPIONSHIPS, and could not coach kids?), what they would do if they got a second chance.

   Last but not least, be a team.  Players who are tweeting about not trusting Fisher and Hunter, or each other, are being devisive.  They make the players look like a bunch of Occupy Portland weirdos.  What they need to do is all wear ties, all get educated, and sit down with owners to come to a conclusion on this matter.  Above all. NBA players should be aware that if the league boycotts the year, the owners can write it off on their Billionaire tax returns.  When you read players like Delonte West, who applied to work at Home Depot despite a million dollar contract, I laugh.  I am sure owners read that too.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Around My World of Sports...


Joey Cora followed Ozzie Guillen to Florida this past week. Not because he loves baseball or wants to manage one day but because his cock is so far up Ozzie's ass that he has to follow him wherever he goes.


Some former players have called Michael Jordan a sellout for his stance during the lockout. These are the same guys who don't understand that without #23 the NBA would have found it's demise in the mid 80's once Larry Legend and Earvin "damn he's still alive?" Johnson retired. He's an OWNER! Which side did you think he'd take?!?!

Formula 1

The Iceman might come back to F1 next season. And good for him. Out with Rubens and Schumi and bring in some young talent. He's already won a driver's title and would be welcomed back to the paddock with open arms. Let's just hope he hires a charm coach. Damn Finns have about as much personality as the deuce i just dropped.


Michael Vick is the most overrated QB since Ryan Leaf. I'm wrong? How many Super Bowl rings has he won? How many Super Bowls has he led his team to? He has a better chance of the dog whisperer giving him some tips if a gang of pit bulls have him cornered in an alley then ever winning an NFL championship.

NCAA Football

Joe Paterno will pass away this Saturday when a Nebraska Cornhusker will be running down the sideline and "accidentally" give him a forearm to the face followed by a beatdwon that would make the po-po who beat down Rodney King blush. He will then decapitate him and show his head to the ESPN camera and yell out "dun nuh nuh, dun nuh nuh!" hoping to make the #1 highlight on ESPN College Gameday.

Random thought of the week...

This Chaz Bono thing. I mean really nothing against transgender people but why the fuck was Chaz on DWTS? "Stars" is the tagline right? What has he done other than be born to some hippie? Not only Chaz but the Kardashian clan and whoever the hell was on that Hills show. Let's see some stars people. The mom from Family Ties, the two annoying guys from Laverne & Shirley, Potsie from Happy Days, let's see some talent!!!

Preview of next week...

Tony LaRussa will receive a DUI on his way to watch some new 3D porno in downtown Tokyo. Clay Matthews will be found positive for taking HGH which will not only prove he was involved with Brian Cushing in his own drug scandal but also that he's not really a man but instead Tina Yothers from the feel good family show Family Ties. Sandusky will run to Rome be indoctrinated and then be moved to a small church in rural Montana where the aforementioned Nebraska Cornhusker will be scouting some land for a real estate deal and will attempt to be the first non football highlight on College Gameday by performing his second live decapitation.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Around the World of Sports...

Given the lameness of recent posts and my absence of bullshit from the 3 people's lives that read this blog I will take you on a journey around my world of sports once a week to bring something new and dynamic to the world. Mostly this is just something to do to kill time so I don't go fuckin crazy.


Boy what a game 6 of the World Series last night! Too bad no one was watching. Given that while it was on the following was on as well: a brand new episode of The Office, Project Runway finale and some show on MTV about some teenager in Arkansas who got pregnant just to get back at her brother for cheating on her. I'd have to say what a hell of a product you've got there Mr. Selig.

NCAA Football

I rarely watch college ball but i caught the Wisconsin-Michigan State game last Saturday night. Hail Mary aside, way to show you aren't Heisman material Russell Wilson. Game would't have been that close had you not missed several wide open receivers. Would have blown the game wide open. Big Ten ain't big time. Takes a corrupt coach willing to give his players free tattoos of Roy Orbison on their asses for title dreams to come through in the Big Ten.


Nothing But Assholes.

Formula 1

During practice runs today several dogs made their way onto the circuit leading drivers to wonder about the safeness of the inaugural Grand Prix this weekend in India. Safeness?!? Who cares. Run into the dog and you can probably feed a family of 10 for a few weeks outside of whoever lives in New Delhi.


Boy, That B.J. Novak can really throw the ball, huh? Not only a decent comedic actor but on pace to pass the Holy Trinity of single season passing records by a QB. Well done Ryan the Intern. You've come a long way since your Dundy for hottest person in the office.

Random thought of the week...

Watched the documentary Catching Hell a few weeks back. Boy Cubs fans...have some class. I mean it's been 103 years but still. If you are gonna be proud of the fact that you are fans of losers at least try to be civil towards your own. I'd hate to see what would have happened had that been a 9 year old kid.

Preview of next week...

Lovie Smith gets his groove back. Pujols overdoses on HGH and hits a home run with his penis while taking his morning piss. Tyler Clutts changes his name to Tyler Graceful and runs for over 300 yards versus the Eagles showing Matt Forte who really deserves to get paid.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Eat it Terrel Owens

Love or despise him, no one can deny Terrell Owens was one of the best.  Sure he was a big fat whiny bitch, who was tolerated long enough to make a team with shitty wide recievers into a team with less shitty wide recievers.  Sure he became a media whore, and sure, once teams realized that he had bad hands and dropped several towuchdowns a year, everyone realized that the sooner he got the hell out of the league, the better off it would be.  But no one can deny the simple fact that Terrell Owens was in the top 1000 Wide recievers to ever play in the NFL.


I mean, I would be hard pressed to find 999 names better that Terrell Owens.  Jerry Rice?  Hell yeah Jerry Rice was better than T.O.  Chris Carter, most definitely.  Devin Hester?  No way.  Owens cemented himself as a great. His 156 touchdowns are good for fourth ever, according to His 1078 catches are sixth best all-time. Owens amassed 15,934 total yards in his career, second only to Jerry Rice’s 22,895.

For all the ridiculous touchdown celebrations, for all the sit ups in his drive way, for every episode of his horrid reality TV show, For every jackass attempt to cry over quarterback criticism, for every half-assed attempted to mug for the camera by eating popcorn, shaking pom poms, or standing on the Dallas star, Owens was still a hell of a player.

Owens’ greatness, though, came in an era of uncanny success for NFL players. Six of the top ten all-time receptions leaders played the majority of their careers in the first decade of the 21st century (Tony Gonzalez, Marvin Harrison, Isaac Bruce, Hines Ward and Randy Moss accompany T.O). Four of the top-10 receiving yards leaders and five of the top-10 touchdowns leaders all-time were of the T.O. era.  Almost all of these receivers will go in before Terrel Owens.  In fact , one can almost picture the fucking dog and pony show that will accompany the T.O Hall of Fame Ceremony.  I picture marching bands, Midgets, and cirque du Soliel. 

And then there are their quarterbacks. Peyton Manning will go down as one of the greatest NFL arms of all time. Manning ranks third all-time in passing touchdowns, completions and yards and fourth in attempts. Brett Favre owns nearly every passing record (the good ones and the bad ones). Despite never finding a real home, journeyman Kerry Collins comes in 10th all-time among passing yards leaders, with Tom Brady and Donovan McNabb not far behind. Brady’s three Super Bowl wins in four appearances guarantee him a spot in Canton.

LaDainian Tomlinson is second all-time in rushing scores, fifth in rushing attempts and sixth in rushing yards.  Jason Taylor, Michael Strahan and Simeon Rice rank in the top-15 for sacks all time.  Ray Lewis is headed towards the all-time tackles record, while Brian Urlacher looks to join the Raven in Canton.

Yes, it’s been quite an era.

Unfortunately, Owens’ unattended workout Tuesday may signal the end of his career.
He did not get a sniff from anyone.  He at least got a 400/week offer from the arena league.  As long as he does not pull a Latrell Spreewell, he should be fine.  You know who was better than T.O, WAY BETTER?  MARVIN HARRISON, and if that motherfucker could not get a job, what makes T.O think he can get a job coming off of knee surgery.  Its not the Knees T.O, people are leery of your bitch ass behavior.  You can rehab knee, but not a whiny attitude.  And for those of you who say "Look at Micheal Vick,  he did it,"  I say "Micheal Vick could fall out of a boat and miss water." 
Like Owens, the futures of most of the greats from his era face uncertainty as to whether their careers will continue. Manning hopes to find a miracle cure for his faulty neck, Tomlinson has been relegated to a spell-back role. Taylor’s impact has been greatly limited. McNabb may have lost his final starting job. Favre looks to finally be gone for good.

Sure, it’s exciting to see the young stars take over leading roles – Aaron Rodgers took over for Favre, Arian Foster, Darren McFadden and Adrian Peterson replaced Tomlinson as the league’s premiere backs. Andre Johnson, Calvin Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald look poised to follow in the footsteps of those receivers of the T.O. era.
Still, the last 10 years was an unprecedented era of greatness, and one can’t help but to feel a little nostalgic as these player’s times wear down and our opportunity to watch them preform ends.

Yes, that even applies to T.O.
so here, is my last Fuck You to you.

"Here's to you knowing that out of sight equals out of mind, FUCK YOU T.O!  HAPPY RETIREMENT!"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

what it is..what it was...what it will be....

man it has been too damn long since i have wasted your time with this blog.  Call it being happy, or busy, or whatever other lame excuse people give when they stop doing shit, but it is what it is.

So what has been going on since i last blogged it out....

- My sister is about to have a kid.  Yep, a child.  A baby...a human being currently growing in her belly and ready to come out and start bossing people around.  So, you know that is some news...please take ur time to let it sink in.   done? i have to move on.  So do i start jockeying for position to get him named after me or not (oops...see what i did there...)

- I have stumbled across what has to be the most disturbed TV show i have ever seen.  AMERICAN HORROR STORY on FX on Wednesdays.  WOW.  The guy who did 'NIP/TUCK' apparently was not done tapping into his fucked up side.  AHS is outstanding in the way it leaves u uncomfortable, edgy, and wondering what is going on.  This is not the 'LOST' formula of what is going on.  This is the lights out in the basement and u hear shit version of what's going on.  Check it out if you like that horror drama stuff.

- Speaking of TV, Sons of anarchy is still outstanding.  Just watch it already.  No need to deny the show just because u dont recognize the channel (FX) or the actors.  It is just a well written show with enough twists and turns and Outlawing to keep it believable and re-watchable.

- My Sox sucked, the CUBS were worse, the Bears are schizos, the HAWKS are just starting, and the BULLS are...well who knows.  Chicago sports...pretty shaky.  Suddenly, Wisconsin and Detroit are getting hot.  You know who suffers for all of this...NEW YORK.  Yep, they pay TONS of money for this type of hype and at this point ESPN is running out of ways to justify talking about NY.  With all due respect fuck NY.

- Starting this week, I will be blogging about how i pick my teams for the confidence pool i stupidly joined.  See, i dont watch that much football that i would know who to pick.  I like to play football.  I like to watch the Bears, but i dont sit around hours on end everyday pouring over guides and reports on teams.  It is nuts how people can pick games and be so accurate with it.  So, what do you when you suck at something big time?  Slink away and hope no one notices?  HELL blog about it.  You take the readers inside ur ignorant mind and let them see your mistakes first hand.  What i am going to do is fill out my picks, and write why i picked them.  Gems i am sure to include are the my son picking them based on his skill and my girlfriend picking them based on who the hell knows why.  (ps...she may have a better handle on the teams than me).

So you know...keep an eye out for that.  Should be hilarious as i pick the 15% of the games right!


Prostitution should be legal

For centuries the prospect of selling ones ass has been taboo. I say this is absolute nonsense for one reason and one reason only: sex is never free.

Sure there are all sorts of political and moral arguments on both sides of this debate. Getting into those would make this blog entry way too long--and I've already written a long blog this year (on a topic that actually mattered). No need to waste words here.

Whether it be time or money, you will always pay for sex. Even if it's not the point, it's purely what happens. That long term relationship you just entered/left? That "relationship" is what you exchanged for sex--if you had any. That child support/alimony? Those drinks/dinner you bought? That "work outside of work" you put it? All exchanged for the opportunity to get some.

I know what the ladies are saying. "I'd like to know a guy likes/respects me first for more than just my body." Meanwhile you're also evaluating whether or not he can provide--provide safety (is he a bitch?) or security (can he pay?). I say cut the games. You know he likes you; you can tell from the bulge pointing at you just below the waist. And the cash money being offered up front--that's proof that he's not a bitch and is giving you all the financial security you need: independence.

So as the wise Riley Freeman once said "why can't I just give HER the money and that ho can go grocery shoppin'?" It's a fair question. Instead of wasting each other's time with conversation and alcohol/lubrication, our laws and societal mores should let us just cut to the chase: How much to get in them drawls?

Your highness in waiting

If only the 99%ers were educated as to their constitutional rights

This past weekend, over 100 people were arrested for unlawfully occupying Grant Park after it closed. This week, many (including the alderman of the ward) are a little befuddled as to whether or not their arrest was lawful. Well lucky for them, Sho-Nuff is here to set them straight.

It is definitely true that the 1st amendment of the U.S. Constitution forbids the government (both federal and state) from passing laws that deny people within its jurisdiction (not just citizens) the ability to speak freely and/or assemble. However, the government CAN restrict where and when this takes place, particularly when it involves GOVERNMENT PROPERTY. This is no different than if one wanted to stage a protest on my front lawn--I can let them or not, and if I let them I can determine when and for how long they are allowed to stay, and I can use...ahem..."self-help" to remove them from my property.

The arrests did not violate any rights of the citizens. Indeed the police warned occupants that they needed to leave the park within 30 minutes of its closing--setting park hours is the government regulating "when" those under its jurisdiction can peacefully assemble. While we all pay taxes thus making it "our" park and "public property" as the protesters shouted, the government can determine when we're allowed to use it, how we use it, and particularly which sections we're allowed to use, all while not impeding our right to free speech or lawful, peaceful assembly.

So there you have it. Feel free to protest all you want--just do it when the park is open.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Things I Think I think Vol 5

1)  NFL Analyst and former shitty quarterback Trent Dilfer is a fucking asshole

2)  If the wall street rioters really want to draw attention to their cause, someone needs to get murdered.  Untill then, they are all just a bunch of pussies.  I mean, the do not even yell loud enough for anyone to hear.  I picket sign?  Are you fucking kidding me?  If I m on the 99th floor, i would not even be able to see a freakin BUS, much less a picket sign.  I would laugh evily, stoke my pointed beard, and contemplate whizzing out my window on the protesters, if the cops had not made them move 6 blocks away to protest.  Now, a CEO gets torn to pieces in broad daylight, you got my damn attention

3)  Matt Forte needs, NEEDS to get paid.  Pay him in cash, trident layers gum,whatever the hell he wants.  Just don't let him leave! 

4)  The Apple Iphone 4S is decent.  People still go apeshit for it though, cause it comes in white, or has voice activated whatever thingamabobs.  I can;t wait to be in a crowded area and have some hipster yell out "Iphone, Where are the single, vegan, democrat bitches at?"
5)  There is not a single person in the world, other than Lance Briggs' Lamborghini mechanic who thinks Briggs deserves a contract increase

6)  Props to the skydiving couple who decided to jump naked and screw in the air.  Props to the guy who filmed it.  Props to new and exciting ways to join the mile high club.  Up next, the skydive "I don't know babe, this kind of thing never happens to me."

7)  Props to all the NBA players who had law degrees, MBA degrees, and successfull business ventures to fall back on during the NBA lockout. I fully expect to pay 20 bucks someday, to go down to the local park, to watch a bunch of Giants whup up on some whack ass schoolyard hoopers.  I will watch and scream and jump around when anything remotely athletic is done.  I will also be the first to leave when the NBA'ers starts asking for 25 bucks, instead of 20. 

8)  I am giving up on:  The Eagles, Kevin Kolb, The Giants,  Eli Manning, Peyton Manning,ricky manning, Danny Manning, Dannielle Manning,  Channing Tatum (Just cause his name SOUNDS like manning), Michael Vick, Texas Gov Rick Perry, The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Democrats, Dominoes Pizza, The Obama Jobs Bill, and the new season of Boardwalk Empire. 

9)  Rihanna was smoking hot on the X-Factor.  All it did was renew my anger at Chris Brown.  How could you hit someone so beautiful?  Chris Brown, was recently denied entrance into whatever country the Michael Jackson Tribute concert was held in.  They already do not let him into England because he is a felon.  Poor Chris Brown.  I do not know who attended, where it was, or if it was televised or broadcast on the internet.  I think it was more famous for who did  NOT show up, like any big-name stars. Chris brown somehow managed to fuck EVEN THAT up.  I guess whenever I want to see Chris Brown, I wil tune into the 17th season of celebrity rehab.  My guess is it will feature Brown, Whitney Cummings, some random NBA baby mama, the gay nerdy guy from the big bang theory, Kendra Wilkinson, Heidi Montag, and Chris Tucker.  First episode title:  "Where the fuck did my money go?"

10) I believe that Beyonce hired a surrogate to deliver a baby.  I also believe that she wears a fake stomach pillow, so that a month after the baby is born, she can wiggle her fat ass out there and have idiots say "Look how fast she bounced back into shape."  If I were Jay-Z, I would have pushed to naturally impregnate Rihanna, and buy the baby off of her.  Of course I run the risk if Chris Brown punching my child, unless I move Rihanna to England.  FUCK YOU CHRIS BROWN.



Sunday, September 25, 2011

Troy Davis was not innocent...

Get comfortable because this will likely take a while...

The world was in uproar this past week about the state of Georgia executing a man who had 20+ years to go through what is called "due process" in order to avoid such a fate. Why? Because the presumption was that he was innocent. After all around 9 state witnesses recanted their testimony! It's the state of Georgia where racism runs rampant! Mr. Davis was an Black man from a poor neighborhood--no way was justice equally applied to him!

First, everything happens for a reason. Mr. Davis' case gave us a definitive answer, once and for all, that it is unconstitutional to execute an innocent person in the United States. Perhaps it doesn't make sense that it wasn't unconstitutional before--the thinking before was that it is always better to find the wrong person guilty than to let the guilty one go free--but now it is definitely unconstitutional to execute an innocent person.

We also finally have a way to determine what "innocence" is. It is the burden of the person claiming they are innocent to prove they are (contrast that to the presumption of innocence at the beginning of trial, where it is the state's burden to prove the defendant is guilty). Innocence is not "not guilty." "Not guilty" means the prosecution could not and did not prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant did what is alleged. "Innocence" means matter of factly the defendant simply did not do what was alleged. For example, someone could be not guilty of DUI if the prosecution can't prove that the defendant was ever behind the wheel. The person could be drunker than a sailor on shore leave, but if there is no proof he or she was behind the wheel, they cannot be found guilty of DUI beyond a reasonable doubt. Contrast to someone who is arrested and charged with DUI and has no trace of alcohol or drugs in their system because they never drank or ingested drugs. Perhaps they just exhibited symptoms of impairment for other reasons. That person is innocent.

In Mr. Davis' case, he had the burden of proving that a reasonable juror would not convict him based on the new evidence he had that was not available at trial. If no reasonable juror could possibly convict him, that means he is innocent. He was given an opportunity to have an evidentiary hearing at the federal level (unheard of since federal courts are supposed to give deference to the findings the state courts make in state cases, which Mr. Davis' case was). His evidence? Affidavits of witnesses "recanting." For the record, a "recantation" is a statement in complete reversal of what was originally said. For instance instead of saying "the light was red," one would need to state "the light was NOT red." In Mr. Davis' case, 4 of the "recantations" were not "recantations" at all--they simply changed their story. Oh and blamed it on coercion by the police (more on that shortly). So instead of saying that Mr. Davis DID NOT shoot Officer McPhail, these witnesses simply stated they did not see who did, and that the only reason they said it was Mr. Davis was because the police told them to.

This was a key mistake by Mr. Davis' attorney's. Instead of going for the highest standard possible in innocence cases (clear and convincing evidence of a lack of culpability or guilt, or a mathematical certainty of innocence) they shot for reasonable doubt (which he'd already been convicted under 20 years ago). There was admittedly reasonable doubt from the beginning (the judge who issued the ruling after the habeas corpus hearing even said as much), but the state was able to convince 12 jurors (7 of whom were Black) that there was no doubt that Mr. Davis not only murdered Officer McPhail but that he did so intentionally.

Now about those coercions. Coerced testimony would certainly not have left as murky a picture as Mr. Davis' case. Indeed of the witnesses who claimed they were coerced none of them directly identified Mr. Davis as Mr. McPhail's killer save one--and by the time the habeas corpus hearing rolled around in 2010 she was deceased. Her recantation was not notarized and from what I could tell from the judicial order, was not given as a statement--it was presented to her by Mr. Davis' attorneys and she was asked to sign it. The others testimony--if it was so coerced--left enough to be desired that the state had to call over 30 total witnesses at trial. Why coerce 7-10 people? Why not coerce one good one that can put Mr. Davis at the scene? (The others stated that Mr. Davis was wearing a white shirt, and that the man in the white shirt shot the police officer--but no one ever said Mr. Davis shot the officer. It was left for the jurors to infer).

Failure number two by Mr. Davis' legal team was putting only the people Mr. Davis knew on the stand during his evidentiary hearing. In other words, he had two witnesses who "recanted" both of which were ready and able to testify--yet were not called. (Even Mr. Coles, the other person present that night and allegedly was the "real" killer was not put on the stand). Only their affidavits were presented. Affidavits cannot be challenged and as a result they aren't given much weight in court. People he knows however are easily discredited as biased. Why not call the woman who supposedly saw the whole thing from across the street who Mr. Davis didn't know? If she was willing to recant her statement (she changed it from "Mr. Davis was the one wearing the white shirt" and "The man in the white shirt shot the officer" to "I did not see Mr. Davis shoot the officer"), then why not put her on the stand to be challenged? If anyone could have swung the evidence in Mr. Davis' favor it was this woman. Instead she sat on the bench--literally outside the courtroom.

It should be noted that Mr. Davis is not dead today because of some imbalance in due process toward people of color. Surely people of color represent a disproportionate amount of inmates generally and death row specifically. This likely has a lot to do with socio economic circumstances--but the bottom line is if you're doing dumb shit and get caught you're going to jail. Regardless if Mr. Davis shot Officer McPhail or not, he was going to jail for a long time for felony murder anyway--he was a party to the felony that led to the killing of someone. The crime can be imputed to him since he was a participant. The death penalty is reserved for the most culpable killers and Mr. Davis was determined to be the one most culpable in the killing of Officer McPhail. End of story.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fat White women are ruining our nation.


Sorry, I just got a little carried away. I was late to my job this morning, because there was a stream of mostly large white women causing traffic jam at the Target on my route to work. I looked around for Pimpalicious, because wherever large white women are found, he is most likely to be lurking about. When I got to my job, I realized that some co workers were missing. I inquired why, figuring that Target Pharmacy had some new drug that could cure Cancer, or treat Autism. Turns out what they had was black and white zig zag scarves.

I was immediately saddened by this and then slightly angered. It does not take much to anger me these days, because I look around and see Obama on TV talking about this, that, and the other in regards to how his plan will help the economy. I hear this bleak news, and Obama’s message of hope and fantasy, and find it in stark contrasts to what I am seeing every day. Mossoni,(sp?) an Italian (?) designer has recently teamed with Target to provide knitted dresses and shirts ranging from 40-60 dollars. I understand that this designer became famous by selling black and white scarves for 200-300 bucks a pop. The lines outside of Target seemed huge considering that it wasn’t black Friday, and the clothes were not on any kind of sale.

The message that politicians out and consumers communicate back is one that does not sync up. I refuse to believe that people’s hopes are buoyed by Obama’s empty words. Americans are not that fickle. Perhaps these shopping sprees or erratic consumer spending are people who save up for months to buy these scarves, but I doubt it. Until this kind of spending goes away, there will be no reason for congress to think they have to act to address budget concerns. I mean, how can people go around and talk about a depression, when people are jumping out of bed to buy 60 dollar scarves. Reports recently came out saying that 49% of Americans are living under the poverty line of $22,113 for a family of four with 2 kids, or $11,344 for a single adult younger than 65. I find it hard to believe that a family will spend half a direly needed paycheck to purchase a single 200 dollar scarf, or even a 60 dollar one for that matter. Until this conflicting consumer behavior pattern is addressed, things will only get worse. I have a suggestion…….Germans!

Americans need to look to the Germans, YES, the Germans for clues as to how to get out of this oppressive economic situation. The Germans started saving YEARS ago, and practiced frugality. This was done when the economy was prosperous. Now that the economy is bad, and European countries are in danger of going out of business like Borders or Circuit City, Germany is still practicing frugality and economic restraint. In Fact, Germany may be the only country to survive from the EU and its horrible decision to accept the Euro as standard currency. Germany joined in the fun and good times, but kept being responsible. As well. I am not saying let’s do away with 200 dollar scarves and such, I am saying let’s be responsible in how we pay for that scarf. We do not need another credit bubble bursting like housing did.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Katt Williams Just fucked up big time

Last week, comedian Katt Williams made news when he attacked a Hispanic comedy club patron and told him to "Go back to Mexico."  Right about here, I will begin to lose my shit.  I will then recover, and calm down.  I understand that Katt Williams was trying to be funny, but his attempts were lame.  As was the response of the victim to Williams.  I just wish, I FUCKING WISH it had been me getting attacked.  I would have responded thusly.  Bear in mind I would most likely be mean just to get laughs.

Katt Williams (KW)
Jokey Jokemaker (JJ)

KW:  Are you Mexican?
JJ: Yep
KW:  Why don;t you go back to Mexico?
JJ:  I was born in Chicago you girly-mouthed bitch!
KW:  You Mexicans always pledge allegiance to Mexico
JJ:  How is that any different than watching only BET?
KW: How can you live in a country and pledge allegiance to another.
JJ:  Where the fuck were you in the 90's?  Too many perms must have fried your brain.  Remember all the black people with Africa pendants on?  The dashiki's, the blow outs, the Black Power movements?  Where the fuck were you all talking about, Brooklyn?  But you're gonna bust my balls because i got my hometown on the windshield of my Chevy Silverado?  Get the fuck outta here with that shit.
KW:  You need to go back to landscaping jobs
JJ:  Only if you go back to picking cotton.  You see how hateful that shit sounds?  You were not funny before this tirade, and you are less funny now good sir.  You suck donkey balls.
KW:  Don't talk like that to sons of slaves.
JJ:  You came after me, telling me to go back to Mexico, and now you're all scared about what I have to say?   You ready?  Here I go:  Katt, I am sorry.  I am sorry that you thought you were going to come here and bust my balls, and come out a hero.  That shit will not happen, and you will be lucky if I don't catch you in the parking lot and fuck you up.  I get you.  You are a short, funny-looking fuck with bad hair and a nasal voice.  You might be the funniest fuck on your block, but the world ain't your block.  Welcome to the jungle baby.  You might think that you have won some type of victory here, by getting a few racists to cheer you for attacking me, but you would be wrong to think this is more than a few drunks trying to gang up on a minority.  By minority, I mean me, one of the few pisas in the room who think you are a decent comic and willing to pay 30 bucks to see your ass.  It doesn't ,matter how i made the 30 bucks, landscaping, selling raspas, or corn, or whatever.  I came to have a good time.  Now it seems I will have to entertain myself by busting you're sorry ass. 
You black people have had it bad, what with the racism, rap music, crack, the slavery issues, I mean shit, you guys were basically carry on luggage for European settlers.  "Oh honey, we packed for America?  Tickets? Check, Wallet? Check. Shit loads of slaves to work our fields, and pick our cotton?  Oh no, Lets stop by the slavery store and pickup a few dozen, as some are bound to die and get thrown overboard." 

My point is, every race has good things about it, and bad things in its past.  For you to make blanket accusations about the Hispanic race is like me saying that rap music ruined your once-proud race.  Crack decimates ghettos, Democrats keep you in small neighborhoods where you kill all the honor students, and then they get your vote by promising to make things better for you.  Anyone can look at another group and make comments like yours, but one should first look inwards to see what can be said about one's self.  So to you Mr Williams, I say this.  I will wait on your punk ass in the parking lot, and if you and me to go back to Mexico, you will have to make me. 

PS. Crack decimates ghettos, rap music ruined your once proud race, and Democrats keep you caged and fed with lies and false promises. 

What really happened is this:  An apology came out of the Katt Williams camp, which he asserts was not genuine.  (His explanation of its origins: "A lot of stuff has been happening to a lot of black celebrities in the world. We just deal with it, thank Jesus, and keep on going.")

He does, however, provide some of the context the mysterious apology suggested, explaining that his comments were in response to the heckler's assertion that "all of this [Phoenix] is still Mexico."
"Black people worked too hard to become Americans . . . Don't come here talking to sons of slaves," he says, insisting that his remarks were directed at that individual only.
Asked questions including whether he was out of line to say, "We were slaves. Y'all just work like that at the landscaper," Williams tells Holmes that the brand of comedy he sells means he is "not allowed" to apologize for the remarks, explaining that he only regrets "the fact that the word 'anti-Mexican' is being said to a black guy in America."
 The reasoning behind Williams' defense of his comments leaves a lot to be desired. First, the idea that the history of slavery in this country somehow gives African Americans immunity from criticism when we offend other ethnic groups doesn't add up. At all. Second, we're not convinced that bigoted statements about Mexican-Americans generally are made any better because they were directed at one individual. Finally, if you don't want to apologize, that's up to you. But give us a break -- don't say you're "not allowed" to. Clearly, you do whatever you want.

But at least Williams' willingness to explain the intention behind his remarks and his, "I meant what I said; take me or leave me" attitude represent a refreshing change from the trite and meaningless apologies we normally hear when celebrities and politicians slip up and show their true colors.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Rappers are weak as hell

There is not a lot to say here, except that freakin Ice Cube has a sitcom where he is the thuggish neighbor, hocks coors light beer, and has not made a decent album since Amerikkka's most wanted.

Xhibit pimped out cars on MTV, and was most recently seen portraying a bear in 2007's Hoodwinked.

50 cent has had poor selling Cd's, poor selling video games, poor selling headphones, and lost a ton of weight to be a mediocre actor dying of cancer.

Everywhere I look i see piss-poor acting, piss poor merchandise, and piss poor album sales.  You want to know who has kept it crazy real during this time?  Who the Knight in shining armor has been for the rap community?  Three-Six Mafia.  They made the awards come to them.  Never deviating from poor rap albums, poor management of money, and poor capitalization of marketing opportunities.  They have kept it so very real, its disgusting.  Kudos to them for following in the hopes and dreams of the hardest hard core rappers that came before them.  You look at someone like Ice Cube, who made a song in which he talks about taking a sellout like MC HAMMER, murdering him, and stuffing him in a trunk, and you cannot help but be filled with admiration.  Now you see Cube in a commercial where a bottle of beer basically cums snow on his face, and you laugh.  I am sure Cube wakes up in a luxurious house, with may whores and stacks of money around him, But I doubt his mansion has a single mirror.  How can it?  If I looked at myself in a mirror, I would kill myself.  Sure he is rich, but so is Monica Lewinsky.  What was she famous for?  1990's Ice Cube would probably murder himself if he knew what he would become.  A joke, a parody, a shadow of his former self.  But i guess the same could be said for the rap community. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Things I think I think Vol 4

1)  A high school bus exploded as it was driving home students after school on the first day of school.  The blame was successfully linked to Obama's shitty governing of the country by Michelle Bachman.

2)  Chicago Bear Roy Williams, who was a star wide receiver not long ago, is a dickhead.  He held a press conference to discuss how no one is harder on himself than he is, and how his work ethic should never be questioned.  Hey Roy, you and I had the same number of catches in Monday's game,  and I was on my couch.  Number 1 receiver?  you look more like number 2.     

3)  The city of Los Angeles had its credit rating go from AAA to AA by some stodgy old credit rating company.  Residents can buy weed legally, and its always 70 degrees.  WINNER: Los Angeles

4)  As the COUNTRY goes down the toilet, Barack Obama is yachting in Martha's Vineyard spending vacation.  Didn't the country get on Bush's case when he went on vacation during a tumultuous economic time?  I guess its cool to vacation now because Barack fixed everything.  Before you assume I am republican, you should know I am independent.  You should also know that no one had higher expectations for the president than I, and no one is more disappointed than I, except black people, poor people, rich people, young people, old people, middle-aged people, white people, etc.

5)  Kim Kardashian got married. and it will be featured in a four, hour long episodes of Keeping in touch with the kardashian sisters, or whatever the fuck that show is called.  Every week, people will tune in and wonder if the groom will say I do or not, even though by the time the show airs, the couple will be divorced.  I wonder what the over under is on Kim letting herself go now that she is married, and her ass doubling in size.  Long time readers of this blog know how much i feature her ass in pics.  More to come.

6)  Momar Ghadaffi stole hundreds of billions of dollars in Libyan government monies, and is now on the lamb from US military troops.  I would just buy Norway, chill out, and claim diplomatic immunity.

7) Cat owners will never get it.  Jon Tumilson, a Navy SEAL, was one of 30 Americans killed in Afghanistan on Aug. 6th when a rocket-propelled grenade took out a U.S. Chinook helicopter. He was mourned at a service in Rockford, Iowa, attended by 1,500 family members, friends--and Hawkeye, Tumilson's dog.  The Labrador retriever was such an important part of Tumilson's life that the friends and family of the San Diego resident called the dog his "son." When Tumilson's friend Scott Nichols walked to the front of the room to speak, Hawkeye followed."As Nichols prepared to memorialize his friend, Hawkeye dutifully laid down near the casket, and died."

8)  Much was made earlier this year when Egyptian people in Cairo helped beam news of revolt and uprising to the rest of the world via twitter and Internet.  Some jackass reporter also made news when he commented about how he heard helicoptors sounding like thunder descending and killing Osama Bin Laden.  The bounty has been stepped up however, in Libya.  Although Libyan rebels have been celebrating their advance this week into the capital of Tripoli, just a few weeks ago, they had a problem. Outgunned and poorly trained, Libya's ragtag opposition forces were the object of pitying--if not unsympathetic--reports by the journalists covering their seemingly hapless efforts to advance and hold ground against Gadhafi's professional forces, who were better trained and better equipped.  Naturally, the rebels turned to the Internet for help. In June, members of the Libyan National Transition Council were "searching the Web," the New York Times reports, where they found information about a surveillance drone--"essentially a tiny, four-rotor helicopter dangling a pod carrying stabilized-image day- and night-vision cameras"--made by Aeryon Labs of Waterloo, Ontario.  So they bought some.  The Canadian firm rode planes, boats, and dusty trails to hand deliver the drones.  Some shit is too important for FedEx.  When your death drone absolutely, positively has to get there.... Aeryon Labs!

9)  I just ordered a drone of death

10)  Craziest story I heard this year, The government creates hurricanes to sell more plywood, used to cover windows from debris.  I have successfully blames this story on Obama's shitty governing of the country.

11)  Bonus story:
Depaul Men's Assistant Basketball coach Billy Garrett came back from an 11 day trip to France with the team to find his house robbed and empty.  First off, FRANCE?  People barely give a shit about the team here, in their hometown.  I mean they play in home games in freakin ROSEMONT!  It turns out the landlord wanted to do some work to the house, and Garrett refused.  The fam goes on vaca, the landlord shows up, the house is filthy, the landlord puts all the stuff in storage, and begins to renovate.  GARRETT comes back all refreshed and french and shit, freaks out, CALLS COPS AND FILES A THEFT REPORT!  I smell a scam in the works.  So did the cops, as they flat out refused to take the theft report seriously.  "Stop being a corny-ass bitch," cops said.  "You are a goddamn man, your name is William, not Billy, you did not get robbed, your shit is at the local public warehouse.  Pay your rent, and listen to your landlord!" 

Friday, August 19, 2011

The CUBS are a fucking joke.

Hello Sportsfans.

     The Handsome RightHander here, and I am happy.  Jim Hendry has been dismissed as the Cubs’ general manager, the team announced on Friday. It's about fucking time.  He was the only general manager in franchise history to oversee three postseason clubs (2003, 2007, 2008) and was the first Cubs general manager to lead the franchise to consecutive postseason berths.  Then his team turned to shit.  “My family and I appreciate Jim’s dedication during our time with the Cubs and thank him for his overall 17 years of service to the Cubs organization.  We also appreciate almost getting to the mountaintop, but almost getting a blowjob, and getting a blowjob are 2 different things,” Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts said. “It is time for a fresh approach in our baseball leadership and our search begins immediately for our next general manager.  I was hoping the Orioles would fire Showalter before the season ends.” 
     Hendry, 56, was named vice president/general manager on July 5, 2002 and departs as the third-longest tenured general manager in the National League and the third-longest-tenured general manager in franchise history behind John Holland (1957-75) and James Gallagher (1940-49).  “At end of the day, I’m not going to leave here with any problems,” Hendry said. “Tom Ricketts is a good man. We just didn’t win enough games.”
     Hendry said Ricketts told him he would be let go on July 22, but Hendry stuck around to help get the Cubs’ draft picks signed. Hendry informed manager Mike Quade and the players of his dismissal on Friday morning.   Overall, Hendry’s clubs went 749-748 during his time as general manager. He joined the organization in November, 1994 as the club’s director of player development. After one year in that role, he added the title of scouting director and served in the dual role through the 1998 season when he was promoted to assistant general manager.

One Motherfucking game over .500?  We live in the best city in the world, why do CUBS fans put up with this shit?  All you idiots running around talking about "lovable losers" or "If the CUBS win, the city will celebrate like crazy,"
 are kidding yourselves.  You run around and say you're a CUBS fans, you are basically saying you like to lose.  Its wrong, unAmerican, and madness to walk around year after year and hope that this will be the year that blah blah blah.  The Ricketts family made the smartest move in history because that bought a franchise that has a fan base that does not care if it wins or not, does not care if you deface the stadium, and is takes failure in stride.  I mean, you could have had a bailout if you were a real business that's how bad you guys sucked this year.  "We had a 7 game win streak,"  you will say.  "Yeah, but all that did was get you to 22 games behind the leader" I will respond.  You may have fired Hendry, but the next GM will have the same owners, same roster limitations, and same apathetic fans. For a historical look, see my previous CUBS blogs.  It used to be funny, now its just pathetic.   Its like Polish jokes,  funny, then amusing, then ok, then racist, then funny again for a while, then bad again, then lame.  Ronnie woo woo must be rolling over in his cardboard coffin. 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Boy who cried Bull and Bear markets.

     The Boy Who Cried Wolf, is a parable included in Aesop's Fables.  It warns against lying because of its inevitable consequences. The phrase "the boy who cried wolf" has even become a part of common vernacular. The boy, a sheepherder, was bored while guarding the sheep on a hill, so he cried out that a wolf was attacking the sheep. The villagers rushed over, only to find out that the boy had lied to them. The boy cried out a second time, with the same results. At the end of the parable, a real wolf comes to devour the sheep, and the boy cries out, but the villagers ignore him because they believe he is only trying to fool them. The boy discovers that a liar will seldom be believed, even when he is telling the truth.

I think that we see this principle at work every day in the stock market.  Every day we hear that the economy is tanking, and people riot in the streets of London.  Then, the next day, we hear that unemployment went down, and and XYZ company had better than anticipated earnings, and the economy stabilizes.  It is to the point that I am getting desensitized to the despair and woe of wall street.  Pretty soon, we will be at a situation where Bank of America will need a bailout.  The government has little money to spare, and I think its time to let unsuccessful businesses or those  with shitty accounting practices like GROUPON, PANDORA or LINKEDIN fail.  It will come at a point in history where we have been absolutely beaten down with bad news, so it will be really hard to muster up an ounce of "Give a Fuck"  attitude to put my kids into massive debt to save a shitty bank. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Things I think I think

1)  The NBA is screwed.  The NFL  lockout ended 2 weeks ago, and it is again the most popular sport in the US.  The NBA, which had only 12 of 32 teams EARN revenue, will not be so lucky.  The owners can show that they lost hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue, and new owners saw little return on their investments of 200-300M dollars.  The NBA sucks, and Lebron could not single-handedly save the league, because he was not interested in doing so.    I expect the lockout to go on and on because the owners have all the leverage.  What are people like Michael Beasley, who shoved a heckling fan this week, going to do. Go to law school?  Fall back on that one semester of General Studies he had in college?  POWER TO THE OWNERS!

2)  The US credit line got reduced from AAA+ to AA+  This means that that dollar in you pocket, is now worth about 92 cents, and someday we will all work for Chinese taskmaster overlords.  I for one, welcome our new overlords, and want to remind them that as an influential blogger, I could be very useful to them.

3)  Planet of the Apes made much much more money than the much hyped, much maligned "The Change Up."  Proof that Hollywood has no freaking idea what its doing  The Smurfs, in 3D, you kidding me?  I would rather watch a movie starring one Mr Honey Badger. You think the Honey Badger cares about Smurfs or Ryan Reynolds?

4)  I need to go to Safari to Kenya, to see wild animals, Darwin's Survival of the Fittest Law in action, and Obamas Birth records.  But mostly to see this live

5)    The stock market feels like the Superman Roller coaster at Six Flags.  The US owes 14.6 trillion dollars on the world front, with the largest owner of our debt being China with 1.1 Trillion.  C'mon, check the couch cushions, can't we find 1.1 Trill there?  China owed itself 7.4 Tril, so technically its the nation with the biggest debt, but since they exclude that, the U.S is first.  I foresee a situation where all welfare people will suddenly stop getting checks for sitting at home, and doing nothing.  The only low-income housing in my neighborhood recently got plowed over, and will soon be a strip mall right off the expressway.  That sounds like the welfare people are getting sent out to the far suburbs.  Then, the checks stop, then food shipments start arriving later and later, then all hell breaks loose and it becomes a town with martial law.  I mean, what better way to save money than by having all the GD's, Vice Lords, 4 Corner Hustlers, P Stones, and every other gang forced to live in a 10 square mile radius out near Romeoville?  I mean just look at the Kings and the Two Six gangs in Aurora?  But who gives a shit, its an hour away.

6)  On Friday, Fox News' Fox Nation website was forced to shut down comments on a post that referred to President Obama's 50th birthday party as a "Hip-Hop BBQ," after receiving many submissions that were racist. "We found many of the comments to be offensive and inappropriate and they have been removed," Bill Shine, the executive vice president of Fox News programming, told The Cutline on Friday.  I think it's funny as fuck the guy's name is shine, very racist, but very funny.  I mean, what the hell did you expect calling Obama's birthday party, a hip-hop BBQ?  When the hell did anyone ever see a hip hop video where they are discussing current news events?  The deficit, universal health care?  Etc?  The reason Obama is having a HIP HOP BBQ is because he does not care that the working class has to work harder.  He has never had to work hard.  He got scholarships to go to prestigious schools, got a full ride at Harvard, he has never had to work hard at anything other than to write/memorize speeches.  He does not know how freakin hard it is to go out and earn a buck.  His wife is having 20,000 calorie dinners, then preaches about exercising to fat kids?  The Economy is collapsing, and the Obamas are hanging around Paul McCartney?  I am not surprised people left fiery comments on the post.  The true surprise comes from Fox News' shock that people would say those things about the president.  We live in the greatest country in the world, and we are great because we have the right to say that Obama is fucking up big-time. 

7)  Todd Brown is in the news because he was walking to the Smith & Wollensky steakhouse, where he works, when he was shot at close range at 5:05 p.m. Monday on the State Street bridge.  Brown, who lives in the Jackson Park Highlands neighborhood on the Southeast Side, took a bus to work and was walking north across the bridge when he was shot, his mother said.  It’s not the first time Brown has been shot. On Aug. 28, 2010, he was wounded in the leg at 58th and Cottage Grove. No one was arrested, records show.  Brown was sentenced to three years in prison in 2008 after he pleaded guilty to aggravated battery for fighting with police officers during an arrest in the Rogers Park neighborhood, court records show.  Monday’s shooting rattled rush-hour commuters, including witnesses who came to Brown’s aid. The gunman, armed with a chrome handgun with a big Chicago Police Department Logo on the side of it, escaped. He jumped in his police cruiser and drove south on State Street, then east on Wacker. Police said they were reviewing surveillance cameras in the area.  “We don’t believe this is a random event.  We have no possible leads either.” Belmont Area Police Cmdr. Gary Yamashiroya said Monday.  Brown, 29, is recovering at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, where he’s in serious condition. The bullet lodged in his skin but didn’t pass into his skull, officials said.  “The bullet is in his head, and they don’t want to move it,” Gooden said. “They don’t want any more swelling. It’s really overwhelming.”

8)   I am shocked!  Jereme Richmond, the former Waukegan and University of Illinois basketball player, was behind bars Tuesday after being charged with threatening to shoot a man.  Richmond, 19, was being held in the Lake County Jail on $100,000 bond after being charged with several felonies Monday.  Richmond was the Sun-Times boys basketball Player of the Year in 2009 and 2010, though his basketball career was mired in controversy. He left Illinois after one season and declared for the NBA draft but wasn’t selected.  He really fucked up and though he was good enough to get chosen.  He thought he was such a good ball player, that teams would overlook the fact that he is an asshole, and give him millions of dollars to play sports.  He was arrested at about 12:30 p.m. Monday in the 3000 block of Golfmoor Street, according to Waukegan Police Cmdr. Gabe Guzman. Charges included aggravated unlawful use of a weapon, battery, possession of a firearm and assault.

Police were called to the address, the home of a 17 year old girl whom Richmond might have formerly dated, according to a police report. Richmond got into an argument with the girl’s parents and allegedly made threats.  According to a police report, Richmond told one of the victims, “You looking for me? I’m here now! I’m gonna shoot your ass!  You know who I am?  I Will be in the NBA someday!  I drive a Dodge Stratus!”  Officers arrived to find Richmond outside the house near a car, with three other men sitting inside, Guzman said. They also found a .40 caliber Smith & Wesson handgun in the back of the station wagon. He didn’t know if the gun was loaded.

All four men were arrested without incident, and no one was injured in the confrontation, Guzman said.  Matthew Riley, 22, of the 1900 block of Hervey in North Chicago, was charged with aggravated unlawful use of a weapon and possession of a firearm, Guzman said. Charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct were Christopher Coburn, 21, of the 3400 block of Windhaven in Waukegan, and Marqus Amos, 21, of the 1400 block of Kristan in North Chicago.  Richmond had a tumultuous freshman season at Illinois, averaging 7.6 points and five rebounds. He played in 31 games and started six.  “I am saddened to learn about the incident involving Jereme,” ­Illinois coach Bruce Weber said in a statement. “We wish the best for the young people involved and their families as they work through this situation.  I cannot believe that stupid fuck sat outside the house!  I cannot believe that ignorant asshole had 3 thugs with hi, but just one deuce deuce.  Should have had at least 2-3, so he could gout out like a man in a shootout, instead of looking like a bitch.  Worse case scenario, he does 1-3 in county, then gets selected by the Clippers.”

Richmond missed the Illini’s two NCAA tournament games for violating the school’s athletic code. He sat out a game earlier in the season after returning home to deal with a personal matter.  He also reportedly was involved in a fight with a teammate after a loss to Michigan in the Big Ten tournament March 11.  “Your suppose to pray for those less fortunate than you and hope things get better for them...not be happy about their mistakes,” tweeted former Illini teammate Brandon Paul.  “Smh keep jereme in your prayers even if u dislike him. He’s only 19 has a whole life to live!  He dumb, but has decent rebounding skills.  SOMEBODY will pay his ass!  Everyone makes mistakes!!,” tweeted former Illini teammate Mike Davis.  Richmond also had a controversial career at Waukegan. He was kicked off his high school team after his sophomore year after numerous altercations with teammates and coaches. He was allowed to return as a sophomore and eventually led the Bulldogs to two state tournament berths.  "if not for his basketball skills, I would have told him to go fuck himself, But we are weak on the inside, and needed his length.  He is an spoiled, selfish asshole, but he can board with the best of them.  I mean, he will never make it to the NBA, but who gives a shit about him once he leaves my high school team.  I wish him disease and death after he graduates high school.... AFTER!"  The coach said.

9)  I continue to like grilled cheese sandwiches.

10)  London is burning down.  I blame nursery rhymes for me not caring as much. "London bridge is falling down,falling down, falling down.  London bridge is falling down, and I don;t give a fuck."  Riots started 4 days ago when a black man was shot and killed in a police maneuver gone wrong.  I for one, thought English cops all drank tea, were queers, and had batons, not guns for weapons.  I would halfway be encouraged to riot myself if all I had to worry about was some poof chasing me saying "My word, stop dear boy, stop."  It would take all bobbies they could muster and all the batons they had to stop me from laughing my Bum off at them while I looted the Crown Jewels.  What happens when criminals learn that the authorities have only as much power as the people give them?  London is a prime example. 

That is all for now, I remain, as always
 The Raving Lunatic

Roman Fingers in the front

Russian Hands in the background

If I ran the newspapers.........(AKA, Watch your step)

Assailants Injuries

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

There may be no cure for ignorance

Back in November 2008 there were some that thought Martin Luther King Jr's dream had been realized with the election of Barack Obama. (To think a Black man being elected president of the United States is all the King dreamed of is simply small minded--but that's not the point). To the contrary, the election of President Obama likely is Dr. King's worst nightmare.

Chris Rock once suggested in jest that if a Black man were elected president of the United States, he'd be immediately assassinated. Ironically (or maybe not) security around the President has been insanely tight since he won the democratic primary for that very reason. But since these redneck simpletons can't get to him physically, they've maintained a constant barrage against his character in an attempt to assassinate the idea of a Black man being president.

You can accuse me of playing the race card all you want, but no other president in the history of the president has been as disrespected as the one currently occupying the White House--so is it merely coincidence then that the difference between this one and all the others is presence of melonin? Most, if not all were Ivy League educated, yet Obama is an "elitest." Jimmy Carter was considered "soft" yet he never endured the same scrutiny as President Obama--and President Obama ORDERED THE KILLING OF BIN LADEN. (Now some "anonymous source" wants to poke holes in the story from the White House. Why kick up a shit storm??? As if we need to give extremists MORE reason to hate us? Its taken YEARS to get anyone to snitch on Bush--its only taken a few MONTHS for someone to undercut Obama).

They decry the way he handles major issues with congress (healthcare and the debt "crisis") when really what he's doing is TELLING CONGRESS TO DO ITS JOB. The President doesn't write or pass laws. He can certainly say what he wants--which is what President Obama did--but its up to CONGRESS to get the details straight.

Granted President Obama hasn't accomplished most of what he campaigned on. Chalk that up to a revolution that broke out the minute he won the democratic nomination in the form of the Tea Party. Many of the Tea Party's constituents can't even READ the constitution, let alone know if the government conforms to it or not. (If they were so worried about the constitution why didn't more of them back Ron Paul?...) Bigger government may not be the answer but its the only blueprint we have (see: the U.S. during the Great Depression). Instead of coming up with new ideas though, our elected officials and the media simply hate on and disrespect the President. It's insane.

What are we to do with this ignorant shit? Unfortunately I don't believe we can do much. We can't shame the ignorant folk--they'll just think you're celebrating them. We can't educate them (education widely considered to be the cure for ignorance) because some of them are actually pretty well read. And evolution continues to allow them to survive (so they must be fitter than the rest of us). Ignorance--like roaches--continues to live on despite the world's best efforts to eradicate both. With that I'll just fight ignorance with ignorance:


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Billy Beane can smoke my cock

Greetings sports fans,

It is I, the handsome Right Hander again.  Next month, Brad Pitt starts in Moneyball, a movie about Oakland Athletics General Manager Billy Beane.  Beane is wildly regarded as being the expert in finding good players that make a good team better.  He is also an expert in having three stud pitchers make you look like a genuis.  He is also an expert in missing the playoffs in the worst division in baseball the last 5 years.  He is also the expert in having a sub .500 records the last 5 years.  No wonder it took 5 years to get some desperate movie studio to do a movie about Beane.  I mean, this shit is so lame, you could have had the Entourage guys try to do the movie on that horrible show, whats it called?  Oh yeah, Entourage.  Whats next, a movie about the Chicago Cubs?

Why is everyone swinging on Kevin Kolb's nuts?

Hello sports fans,

     Your king has returened to share with you a couple of pieces of information about your beloved Kevin Kolb.  Why do people love him, is it stats?  You decide.

Career statisticsYear Team G GS Passing Rushing Sacked Fumbles

Att Comp Pct Yds Y/A TD Int Rtg Att Yds Avg TD Sack YdsL Fum FumL

2007 PHI 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 -2 -0.7 0 2 13 1 1

2008 PHI 6 0 34 17 50.0 144 4.2 0 4 21.8 13 2 0.2 0 0 0 0 0

2009 PHI 5 2 96 62 64.6 741 7.7 4 3 88.9 5 -1 -0.2 1 3 27 2 1

2010 PHI 7 5 189 115 60.8 1197 6.3 7 7 76.1 15 65 4.3 0 15 99 6 3

Career 19 7 319 194 60.8 2082 6.5 11 14 73.2 36 64 1.8 1 20 139 9 5

I think its because he is white, and the league is jealous of all the Superbowls that Black athletes have won over the years.  Kolb's number suck.  I predict a secomnd coming of David Carr.  11 touchdowns, 14 interceptions?  Lets give this guy a fucking Nobel peafce Prize Award, since they are handing them out for not doing shit.  Sure, Kolb has Larry Fitgerald, but he can expect a steady diet of double teams and jams at the line.  Who can Kolb hand off to?  Who can Kolb throw to when Fitz is doubled?  I think the NFL does what it can to ensure the success of whities.  It was only a matter of time before reverse affirmative action bit minorities in the ass.  It looks PRECARIOUS.

I am not saying I am sexy but.........

Hello friends,

     It is I, the one and only Jokey Jokemaker.  If you meet someone claiming to be Jokey Jokemaker on the street, like over by the Northside, like over by Humboldt Park, in a shady bar, having drinks, and trying to score with the ladies, ask him for ID.  If you get anything other than a punch in the face, it's not me.  ALso, if they are not smoking hot, its not me.  YOu can tell its me because I am so hot:

  1. Rabbits fought over my foreskin.
  2. My Balls have no expiration date.
  3. I fart pheromones.
  4. In high school, I was voted "Most Likely to be Ravished by Women like I was the freakin Gaza Strip"
  5. My Cock has its own stickbroker series 7 liscnece
  6. I'm being circled by tri-sexuals.
  7. I'm built like a brick bathhouse.
  8. You can tell my age by cutting down, and counting the rings in my cock
  9. They squeeze pics of me in Google earth 3-d only because I am in my pool in awesome shorts. 
  10. I have to add extra bodyguards whenever I lick my lips.
  11. I always carry a backup testicle.
  12. My cock enters the room 3 minsutes before I do.
  13. Each one of My balls has its own set of stalkers.
  14. My cock is so big, it has an elbow
  15. My cock is so big, i have to buy it a shoe.


Hello Evildoers,

     It is I, Raphael De La Ghetto, back with commentary on all things Art-related.  Today, I have compiled a poetry list of facebook statuses that have pleased me over the years.  Some noteworthy authors include myself, Jokey Jokemaker, The Raving Lunatic, The Chooch Punisher, Abraham Lincoln, F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Handsome Right-hander, and Jesus.  Just for fun, see if you can match the author, to the post. 

1  I enjoy stimulating conversations about life with big-breasted women

2  The most exquisite expression of unresolved pain is a funny ass joke about it

3  I do not think highly of myself, but my friends do, so I can't let them down

4  I hate the New York _________ sports team

5  I will feed you chocolate covered strawberries, from the tip of my dong

6  We need to pick a politician a week, and beat the piss out of them

7  Either you think, or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and sterilize you.

8   "And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.  And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.  And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

Monday, August 1, 2011

Facebook statuses I would like to read...if i cared

You know how people put up real inspirational shit on the FB statuses like they are Dr. Drew or something.  Hey, Dr. Phil that shit is nonsense.  OPRAH...quit trying to express to me the power of a woman or how this Monday will unlock the happiness trapped in my soul. [cut and paste as your status]

This is Facebook, not a therapy session.  Quit acting like you are screaming into the ocean and realize we all are in the same room, and you know... you look ridiculous.  Post some real shit about you.

Suggestions? we go!!!!

Spur of the moment:
"Holy crap, my legs are still sore, I am wearing last night clothes, and I smell of sex...what an awesome Bar Mitvah"

"Jesus died on the cross for my're SOL!"

Passive Aggressive:
"I hate that bitch who thinks she can keep my son from me.  Not naming names and shit."

"secretly i hate Obama for being black, but since he can't clean up W's mess, I am going to blame him for all that and call him names in private.  Like this if you agree"

"It is hot as balls, but at least my neighbor keeps her window open when changing...and for me to get in!"

Educational if you must:
"Class is so awesome right now.  My professor is mad smart and I love this class.  wait...i just missed what he said"

"Fuck Bill Belichik"

"That Rafael de La Ghetto is hilarious.  His posts of tit pix are classy!"

"Oh shit someone got shot in front of my house...that is messed up"  
(editor's note: please call the cops before you post to FB)

Anyway, you get the point.  Let's keep FB fun or at least entertain me. Inspirational messages are for group therapy groups.  I know there are a lot of alcoholics, addicts, and nymphos on here, so you know, make them laugh.  They get enough of that other shit in real therapy!

Global Niche Movement/David Sabat - Strong Man (MKTL remix)

Friday, July 29, 2011


In Europe, a lawsuit has been brought against Lancome Cosmetics for false advertising.  Just look at how much the airbrushed Julia Roberts.  This is a case for false advertising if I ever saw one.  This is like the time i brought a Federal case against the makers of the movie THE NEVERENDING STORY.


Lionel Hutz
Attorney At Law  

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Sho-Nuff Rantations

1. A note to the fellas.

Guys, there is absolutely NO reason to be thirsty. You really don't need to hit everything that moves. There are literally more women than men on the planet, and generally more available women than men (thanks to huge numbers of cats locked up or homosexual and whatnot) so it's really okay to be a little selective. If a chick has 2 or more children by 2 or more guys, she's taken herself out of the "must hit" category. Sure she can get it, but she doesn't HAVE to. And if you disagree with me, at least invest in a box of condoms. Otherwise, expect to contribute to the child support pot she's already got. You knew she was fertile when you started talking to her--she's already got at least 2 youngins!

2. Why the U.S. Economy is in shambles.

Dems and Republicans can argue all day about who caused our economic woes. Quite honestly no one in D.C. is more responsible than the folks in L.A. and N.Y. in the music industry, specifically the "urban" sector. You see once we started to commercialize hip-hop and R&B began to blur into cross-over rap music, the music execs that realized this was a brilliant idea made the mistake of giving "niggas" money.

Niggas with money ("NWM") may well be the worst thing to ever happen to this country. NWM isn't a new phenomenon--many NWM are star athletes. But it wasn't until cats started invading our brains via phat beats and lyrics about shit your average person has never heard of did the rest of us decide "I need to be up on that too!" and do whatever necessary--including going into tremendous debt--in order to do so. In the early 90s it was Guess, leather and gold (hilarious now that those were luxury items)--now it's Gucci, Prada and Hermes. Rich white folks who have been buying these things as "normal" for years are now trying to find new luxury items since China is trying to feed our fetish for these items with affordable knock offs, thus devaluing the real deal.

The phenomenon isn't just in low income areas. The commericalization of hip hop has taken it mainstream--so now middle class and upper middle class suburban folks who can't quite afford it will throw it on their credit card, or go cop that Escalade on 24s. The mentality of "just throwing it in the bag" and not checking the price tag runs rampant in this country. I've made the argument that if spending were the real fix to our economy that we should just give it to Black folks--because Black people will spend their ass off. But giving NIGGAS money--that means celebration of their ability to utterly waste their income (and subsequently owe Uncle Sam thousands in unpaid taxes) thus making it "cool" for the rest of us do the same. And while everyone is free to make their own decisions, we already know that well over 50% of America is dumb (check the stats) or are mindless sheep (right wingers). In a place where the economy depends on over 80% of it's population to simply spend money that's a dangerous mix.

3. Hate on a whole new level.

Has any president in history ever been more hated on than Obama? Jimmy Carter, both Bushes and Clinton all had to overcome some hate, but none quite like Obama. You literally have people (since he was campaigning) doing whatever they can to make the man simply look bad. From claiming he's not American to trying to dead any of his political efforts, his co-workers in Washington are literally considering proposals on the basis of "we might lose, but it's okay as long as Obama loses." Some theorize that it's race motivated. Whatever it is it's retarded. He's the POTUS! Show some respect! You think the English hate on Elizabeth like this?? HELL NO! (They do hate on the PM, but he technically serves at the pleasure of the Crown so as long as the queen is happy he's good). Only here in the greatest country on Earth can an alliance of ignorant fools determine the success or failure of the rest of the country. Hate has gone from something frowned upon, to something accepted and celebrated to an actual strategy. And we wonder why our federal government is about to default on it's debts.

The meanest, prettiest, the baddest low-down mofo around this town,