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HAPPY BDAY to Bella Baggins (7/6) and the BIGS (7/13)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

...it is not my fault they make u seem like the weaker race

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My alderman is a scumbag

Hello,

My alderman is a scumbag. He recently allowed Section 8 people to live in our neighborhood. I have nothing against section 8 people, as long as thy are cool. I then proceed to get a Purrto-rican family move in and raise hell. I mention the fact that they are Puerto-Rican because every white asshole in my neighborhood assumes they are mexican. They are suspected drug-dealers, so now I have traffic on my street at all hours of the night. They are of loose morals, so there are infants crawling around, and several baby-daddys coming in and out of the house. There are reckless teens, so there are shooting incidents in my neighbo0rhood now. Its pretty bad.

I have asked my alderman for help in removing the bad element, only to hear that his hands are tied. I have decided to fuck with my alderman's head in the following ways:

1) Ask him if he has bodyguards, and then go "OH YEAH?" the way only I can when he says "No."

2) Go on at length about my collection of chinese millitary weapons, adding "Any faggot can pull a trigger, I like to see the light go out of someones eyes at close range!"

3) send toy guns to his office in the mail with notes that say "Soon the games will be over."

4) Scream "I know what you did!" out loud in front of his office.

5) Say, "A word to the wise, don't show up to work on Wednesday...." to his secretary.

6) Write angry letters

7) leave dead dogs on the neighbors lawn, with my aldermans phone number on the side.

8) Sit in my aldermans office and recite passages from the Q'uran.

9) Ask him if he believes when he dies he will see God

10) say "I forsee great tragedy befalling you." on his answering machine.

Anyone else have any ideas?

The Raving Lunatic
Bitterly Angry

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

fuck you fagmael

HA HA HA HA HA

I am LOVING it! I have been unable to watch basketball ever since the bulls got eliminated. I hated the celtics. I hate garnett mean-mugging like an idiot.
I hate pierce acxting like he did it all by himself. I hate how bad ray allen sucks, one game, and then catches fire the next. I am glad they got ousted.

My new team of hatred is the cavaliers. I hate them. I hate how assholes like fagmael run around and go "Tha kang!" I hate how mo williams, some guy i never heard of, is gauranteeing victory because they are the superior team. I hate anderson varejao cause he is a little bitch. I hate the coach, cause he got an award for coach of the year, but can't make a single damn adjustment to win a game. The cavaliers should have been swept out of the playoffs, hardly the "Best team in the nba-material."

Don't get me wrong, Orlando sucks too. Howard is a moron who can't hit free throws unless he taps his feet to an imaginary song. The rest of the team only hits 3's because cleveland is too stupid to defend it. Let the pop the ball down low, i will take poor free-throws Vs. 3's. Whoeever wins will only go on to lose to the Los Angeles Kobe's

I hate the Lakers. But I admire how Kobe got the only player on the team better than him kicked off. He then wined about not having the players nescessary to win a title. SO the whole damn team was formed to maximize his skills, but still lost last year. Boston did the same thing to appease Pierce. Kobe got madder, and is playing like a man possed, posessed by a selfish-asshole demon. Thats like getting mad at a whore who is fellating you for not having an orgasm.

Either way, I will try to watch at least untill Cleveland, and LA lose. Fuck them all.

The Handsome Right-Hander,
Sports Reporter
Angry Man
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-594683847743189197&ei=5FEdSuabLJ3S-gHgtvzQAw&q=zeitgeist+the+movie


this is a wickedly interesting film. no matter what you believe, this video will give you an opportunity to experience a different take on things...the nativity story, the banking system, terrorism...
it's worth watching. i, for one, cannot stop thinking about the topics addressed. maybe it's because it's easy to say that things are fucked up and deny any point in trying. it is a long film, so i understand the hesitation and refusal to watch it by most people. allow me to list some points of interest anyway:

* there is no law that says we have to pay income tax
* money itself is debt
* no substantial plane wreckage was found at two of the three crash sites (9/11)
* the nativity story could be told through astrological events...the death and rising of the sun, the virgin birth, walking on water...

Monday, May 25, 2009

i have nothing...

ok i actually have absolutely nothing to write about...yet this might be a long blog :) I mean aren't the best things about nothing? phone conversations, real life convos, Tv shows (Seinfeld, my fave :) , movies, hey life as a whole really...all about nothing!

you talk to someone 30 min you get asked... "what were you talking about?" and you say "oh nothing really"

you read a book you get asked "what did you read? " and you say "oh some book it was dumb! NOTHING good really"

the best sitcom ever (at least i think! :) - SEINFELD became famous for what? bc it was a show about "nothing" yet it was always about something! kinda like life :)

most movies are a waste of 2 hours for me :/ i have to be in the mood and the movie has to be either super entertaining or super insightful ...and as for life? for the time being- mine is pointless :/ :p :)

I am in the process of searching for my life meaning ...so it might be a while ;) so as i said earlier i have nothing :P

RANDOM THOUGHT: I just saw intervention and feel soo good! back to back episodes and 2 people attributed their drug use to loss of a loved one (excuses! excuses! )....

as a survivor I TOTALLY understand them bc - i lost my boyfriend whom i was SOOO in love with and abused alcohol for some time- i then snapped out of it and found consolation in running and improv and comedy classes :)

i can tell you that when someone you love so deeply dies your life will never EVER be the same ...it's so easy to fall into addiction BUT the best thing you can do is return to your life to a "fully lived " state that is what they would want and what you should do ....

this is soo much easier said than done!! :/ to this day i still have issues im working on!!

so anywho tangent- the grieving can be it's own blog :) ACTUALLY it needs to be its OWN blog :)

BUT anywho im rambling and into this Intervention episode ...SORRY!!!

Bodhisattva needs to watch so she ponders and becomes wiser :)

have a great night and if you read this crap - THANK YOU!!! that's very flattering! ill put up something meaningful soon ;) ttyl;)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

ASK BUCKY!...The Real Spit Edition

Again here we are with our resident know-it-all, Bucky Done Gun, answering your every question honestly, openly, and sarcastically! Without Further Ado..here he is...BDG!!!


Q: I am a woman who wants a tattoo (snake on my forearm) and I am on the fence. What do you think BDG?
BDG: Well, for one, NO! Just say no. I mean, are you a butch biker and are trying to prove to your bitch that ur the man in the relationship? Or do you belong to a Biker named Snake?Really, a tattoo i feel should have deep profound meaning to you. It is going to be there for a while and it will represent you. It will also brand you. Those tatts on the lower back are called 'tramp stamps'...so...i mean, u can figure it out. The general rule to keeping it classy is get a tatt u can hide easily in case u wake up and wonder what the fuck you were thinking about, or go balls out and get the coldest tatt u can and learn ur pole moves to make a little extra money. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and ur will do whatever u will do...

Q: I would like to stop crying when i see rainbows. What could I do?
BDG: Quit being a bitch! Focus on the rain and how it descends to earth and falls on a girl's white t-shirt. YEAH!
Q: But I am a girl.
BDG: confused...what does it matter? Who doesnt find it hot see a wet t-shirt on a buxom woman?

Q: BDG, why do guys suck so much? How come good guys are hard to find?
BDG: Well, basically, because you keep looking in the wrong places. Going to a biker bar or a a pretentious club is not the right move. CHURCH...that is what u need! Also, if the guy is an asshole coming in..well he is going to be an asshole no matter what u do or swear u would never do, but do anyway.

Q: If a girl says she is not really into me, yet calls, writes, and constantly stays in contact...what does that mean?
BDG: It means 1: u may need to stop stalking her and all those orders of protection might go away. 2: she may be stalking you and wants to hunt u down when ur unaware and wear ur ass like a hat. 3: ur a dumb ass for noticing she really does like you and wishes u would finally make your fucking move. I mean her hand down ur pants was prolly a dead giveaway.

Q: Can I trust a girl with a big butt and a smile?
BDG: I mean go ahead and admire, put guard ur wallet and ur food. Ur fries are not safe.


Peace out bitches...
BDG!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Wednesdays with Raphael De La Ghetto

Hello fellow asthetes,

Tis I, Raphael De La Ghetto, and I have returned to discuss Andy Worhol. Andy Worhol was most likely super-gay. Not just gay, SUPER-GAY.

Please join me next time when I will discuss Jackson Pollack, and his slight drinking habit.

Yours artistically

Raphael De La Ghetto
Socialite/Art Expert

Monday, May 18, 2009

mental crossroads & random thoughts& MY INTRO...

hello :) im new to this website and like to use smileys even though im not happy :) NOT miserable either- just very blah BLAH BLAH BLAH- can I get a witness? who the hell is here- or has felt like this at one point? give me some insight PUH leeeeeze!

so basically i think if i find this "niche" this so called "calling" in life i might feel better- i was talking to a friend over a hotdog at wrigley today and she agreed that this "caling" stuff is not true and if i focus on it ill be miserble LOL well i think it is true and I will focus on it and be miserable bc misery loves company i chose to blog with my insomnia...

so what freaking time is it? i think its 3ish or 3:30AM and i will finish this blog by 4pm then sleep- maybe power walk if its 5am when im done- theres always one freaking health nut up that early- ill feel good if they think im one of them :) lol shyea right :)

i wrote LOL and didnt laugh- i always do that :) LOL just means a smile to me really ....so where was I?...ahh yes MENTAL CROSSROADS....

i just remembered i might attend a prayer service 2maro- MAYBE ATTENDING but probably yes - i just hope they dont try to convert me bc it's one of those new Christian life seedy looking places- doesnt even look anything like a house of worship rather some company where they manufacture some dud product...ANYWHO TANGENT! Story of my life :)

where was I? aww yes mental crossroads - the term was introduced to me like 3 weeks ago when i told my "friend" i was blah- he stated that id hit a mental crossroads- i said "whats that?" and he described it as a semi-life crisis lol "sounds about right" i responded

here's some background...im an athiest.... i chose one word yet i know that explains ALOT

no one can convince me that there is a God, not my parents, not your comments, NO ONE - i think God is created for the weak that can't handle that this is it "do something with your life bc this is the only one you have" kinda thing - trust me i really DO hope there is a God and maybe there is but until i have an epiphany or have some divine intervention ...como que no me convence

ok tangent mental crossroads- why do i mention this? i dunno maybe bc im crazy and i talk too much....im best off pulling a Kramer and becoming non verbal ....

ANYWHO i mention bc that explains who i am in a way ...i am Bodhisattva- sanskrit for "the one who seeks enlightenment" and i know i DO NOT stand alone and represent many- just most dont say it

the literal translation to this word means an "awakening being" but in practice a Bodhisattva aspires to be a spriritual altruist, an activist,and even a service-oriented leader as well as a seeker of wisdom,truth,unconditional love,deathless peace,and ultimate enlightenment....

sound too ideal? ...perhaps ...maybe that's why im at a mental crossroads bc i seek something that cant be...okaaaay getting to deep - i think it can be BUT anywho back to my Bodisatvaness :)

i think we are all THAT seeking enlightenment and those that have given up their search are whinos or bums- i refuse to become either - lol even though im semi- whino bc i drink wine and then complain "wah wah- i hate my life" lol get it whino- drink wine and whine :) ok lame joke but that's what i do best lame jokes :) mostly puns...that's why i havent gotten anywhere- punny will take you nowhere - only funny will....

ok back to Bodhisattva soooo ive aways been a seeker and a thinker as long as i can remember but for sure my thirst for truth has increased after Eric's death...

who is Eric you ask? lol ok maybe you dont but ill tell you anyway bc i love that guy and i want all to know he existed- Eric was the "love of my life" - i suppose you can say- he was my absolute bestfriend and i guess my boyfriend for 6yrs...i kinda dont think i was the only girlfriend though...but era la catedral- y las otra capillas if you know what i mean- YES i was in one of those - sad thing was i was aware of it and would probably continue if he was alive ....Rihanna isnt the only idiot :/

so yea my boyfriend the person that mattered the most to me in my little world that taught me so much he's the one that created my Bodisattva search - i guess after he died i deeply wondered "what is the purpose of life"....

i mean he led his so well went to school had his goals and completed them....fyi theres a tiny red bug on my computer screen but ill ignore it- why did he die? they say we all have a purpose...but then what was his? he was only 26 yrs old....im sorry but i see no reason there (to his death that is) ....

the weird thing is when he died i was one of the few that didnt cry- his family labeled me "the Rock" bc i was so strong- i suppose i can call them "family" but really his only family was his mom - the true Rock- it was just him his mom and thats it really- after his dad died it was just them 2 and now the rock- the true rock bc i look at his mom and am just in awe of her strength - i look at my own mom and am in awe of HER strength... i wanna be my mom she is sooo strong! but thats a whole other story and TMI- if this is TMI that is much more TMI maybe one day in another blog....maybe...

ahh yes but where was i? my quest for truth has much increased after him...will i find it? i dunno...i kinda think i should stop looking but kinda cant...anywho im old and cant remember what the point of this blog was ...

whats the point of anything really? and with that blog i introduce to you your new blogger on this site....BODHISATTVA (how many different ways did i spell that :).....watch out fourwinds your blog has a new friend...goodnight :)

- bodhisattva

P.s
i hear 3am is the devil's hour...they said that in "Emily Rose" and many other places and i always awaken with deep thoughts and sometimes even a pressure on my chest in a dream....why "hello devil" :) lol JK just wanted to freak you guys out- im an atheist, remember ;)


BUENAS NOCHES ;)

Friday, May 8, 2009

Stopping the violence



No one really knows why gangs do what gangs do.  In the 80s and 90s we thought it was because of turf and drugs.  Now a gang will kill you simply because you're not a member of their gang--not even because you're a member of another gang.

I propose a solution that "worked" in South America some years ago: government sanctioned gangs.  Right now we call this "insurgency" in the middle east.  The same concept can and should be applied in urban environments in the U.S.  You take a guy who's nuts, likely a former gang member or mafia head, let them recruit some other guys, give him some legit police and call them a "task force."  The law cannot apply to them because clearly who they are fighting doesn't have regard for the law themselves.  Much like the rules of engagement are different in these times of insurgency they should be different on the streets.  Let them do what they know how to do best.  Give them one mission and pay them--and if they don't do it they don't get paid and are "replaced."  It doesn't have to be transparent--it can all be done under the table as far as I'm concerned.  If tomorrow some new gang popped on the scene taking out other gangs and repping peace in the community and the government didn't make a move on them I'd be completely okay.  In the 60s we had the Black Panthers (which somehow became the Crips and Bloods in California).  We need a return of something like that.  An group armed to the T ready and willing to protect our communities from ignorant fucks.  With sign off from the government.  

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Red snapper is no joke

What does my title have to do with anything...fuck if I know. All i want to discuss today is that 'JACKASS MOMENT'. You know what I am talking about. IT is that moment when you go, "oh shit..i am an IDIOT!" My friend Roly will always be 'Johnny on the Spot' with that line whenever i do something. I will grab my keys and forget my wallet = "you're an idiot!" I will forget to bring my music to a party = "You're an idiot!" I go out and run over a bum with my car = "You're an idiot!" This is his specialty, and he is really good at it.

Anyway, when you have a JackAss moment what do you do? I say go big. GO REAL BIG. Make the joke first, act out the scence again only add more special sounds and effects so that it leaves no room for anyone else to get their shot in. Kinda like when Rabbit busted on POPPA Doc in 8Mile. Actually, dont do that, because i am still not sure why Poppa Doc didnt get on the Mic and start extolling how he fucked B-Rabbit's mom (the trashy hot Kim Bassinger) or how they all gang banged his women in the studio before he came in. I digress....

My top "I am a JACK ASS" Moments:
  • My shirt rips at "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat" [hilarity ensues when Jokey re-enacts for 4 straight hours]
  • I forget to write my speech that I was supposed to deliver to my entire School...[hilarity ensues when the other guy gave a riveting speech quoting MLK jr, and Jokey re-enacts it for 4 straight hours.]
  • Love Letters - they are bad ideas after break ups...trust me. They are kept, regurgitated, analyzed and in essence great fodder for jokes. [hilarity will ensue when after 18 years they are brought up, but really why would u still have them? ]
  • Racing to leave a fight to be safe, yet getting into an auto accident whilst doing it
  • Every dumb ass drunk text i have sent [really my phone should be equipped with a breathalyzer and/or spell check. ]
  • Cutting my arm with a fish bowl...
  • Dislocating my shoulder not 40 min after i said it was impossible to do it again because of the SCREW in my shoulder!

So that is me...my forehead slapping moments...Please feel free to add ur own....

D'OH
-iz3y!

Keri Hilson - Turnin me On

Friday, May 1, 2009

Liz and I were watching the game,and had this POUNDING

Suck it Garnett! Somebody throw a hand in the face of Ray Allen please.

Raw Emotion

Right now i am going to defend my boy Joakim Noah. Yeah i said it, i have the clown's back and there is shit you all can do about it. Do i recognize he is a clown...MOS DEF! Do i care..not a bit! People are riding this young kat because he gets emotional and makes the Joakim Noah Face...you know with the gap tooth and the floppy hair. Still I got his back and I will tell you why...He plays his fucking heart out. This man has marginal talent outside of being 7 feet tall. The Lord saw it fit to make him so ugly, that some women have actually proclaimed 'he kinda cute'. Yet people hate on him, and i think it is wrong. So wrong given that Paul Pierce has the same schtick and it looks absolutely ridiculous. It looks forced.

[Pierce spots up for a three..KA-BOOM...Boston up 99-91 3 min left to play]
Cue Pierce going into full, we just won the Championship yell and facial expression. He clutches his fist, looks to the sky and looks like a retard having an orgasm. Dude, u just hit a three to give ur team the lead with 3 min left. You're playing the Bulls for God's sake, not the Cavaliers. Ray Allen the class act that he is, has been systematically carving us up like a serial killer trained in NAVY S.E.A.L. tactics, yet he remains focused...calm. Yet , PP, ur going nuts... jumping into the waiting arms of Keving Garnett who is mean mugging the Bulls Bench and shouting. Yeah, real classy assholes...wait. You're in Chicago, not Boston. Whitey is not here to be scared of you fools. Oh know this, in this fucking city, we are not afraid of preening and mean mugging. We had Jordan, a man who would destroy ur will to compete with a look. Not a mean mug from the bench. What happened next took 3 OTs, but the Bulls won because they actually, somehow held on and held their own.

For last night alone you forgive Noah and begin to love him. He is a 7-footer with no real athletic ability, who stole a pass, streaked down court past that awkward bitch Paul Pierce and gathered the strength to dunk the ball from at least 7 feet from the rim. If you know Noah's athletic ability, you know this is not within his limits, yet there he was, flushing the ball and giving us his wildly hated roar. Pierce, had no roar. No yell. All he had was his stupid expression of, "holy shit, maybe i should have concentrated more on being less whack in this series and less on trying to outdo KG for biggest jackass.".

So you go ahead Noah, you keep flashing that gap-toothed smile and keep acting like u still play at U of F. You have no idea how to act, so go with what feels right. PP, u keep acting like a moron...completely ignore Ray Allen. What drives me insane is that PP and KG are now a cartoon character of themselves. They believed the Addidas ads and the hype of how they are emotional players. Fine, be emotional, just dont force it. Your a champion, playing the CHICAGO BULLS!!! You think they try this shit if MJ was on the floor? How many points would he put on them, while in the process embarrassing them? Someone ask Stark, Greg Anthony, and Mason what it was like when u pulled on Superman's Cape! (btw...fuck u Shaq and Dwight Howard..the real super man won multiple championships and came through in big moments. No one worried about his foul shooting, just that he was about to rip hearts out!)

In closing...Noah is a clown, but he is OUR CLOWN, and he is playing his heart out and we love it. As for Boston....Fuck you!

Repping the Southside of CHICAGO, not southy boston...
-iz3y!

ps. all of you people who heart Boston as a city...put down the beer and come see a real city...