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Sunday, January 6, 2013

New Playbook

Finally saw "Think Like a Man," the comedy based on Steve Harvey's book "Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man."  Though I've never read the book, I'm pretty confident that this book has ruined the game for single men everywhere.  Steve in fact betrayed us as Kevin Hart's character said.  Well I'm here to re-write the playbook.  Take heed.

1) Pussy is not worth waiting for.

That's right I said it.  If you've already determined she's not worth your time, not worthy of meeting your friends or family, or isn't worthy of having your last name, why the hell would you wait 90--or even 9--days to hit the skins??  What she won't do, someone else will.  Don't waste time trying to conquer.  Lose the ego and move on.

2) Wifey IS worth waiting for.

Contrast to pussy, a woman worth being with is worth waiting for.  Can she walk AND chew gum?  What are HER short and long term goals?  Does SHE have character and morals?  Or is she just a big butt and a smile?  They shouldn't be the only ones with standards.  You meet someone that you might consider giving your last name then you jump through all necessary hoops.

3) She should at least stand up to the standard set by your mother.

Just about everyone's first example of what a woman is is their mother.  I'm not saying a woman should take care of you or keep you safe like your momma.  She should carry herself a certain way though.  Understand her role like your mother.  Be willing to sacrifice if necessary like your mother probably did.  Said another way: she should be "down for you."  If she's not she should be dismissed.  That doesn't make you a mommas boy.  It means she should be a woman--not a girl.

4) Rings are just jewelry

Sure "bands a make a dance" but with the divorce rate over 50%, rings are just jewels; nothing more than trinkets to show off to friends and family.  If she wants a ring buy her one.  Just as long as you're honest with her about what the situation is you shouldn't have a problem.  Shit is just decoration anyways.

Fuck Steve Harvey