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Monday, March 19, 2012

THings I think I think Vol 6

Whats up bizznitches.  Its me, Jokey Jokemaker.  This week I had these thoughts:

1)  Ismael Julio Lopez's attempt to take the blog and put it on facebook was really really really lame. 

2)  Tim Tebow got screwed in the ass so hard, he may be pregnant and give birth to a politician.  Peyton Manning waffled, and the fates of several NFL franchises hung in the balance.  The 49ers were left with no quarterback, the Dolphins were left with the scrub from last year, and Alex Smith was left with the leftover scraps of Manning, Flynn, Quinn, Campbell, Henne, and a ton of other quarterbacks that signed quickly. 

3)  So the New New York Knicks coach runs a crapload of iso's for Carmelo, and all of a sudden team chemistry is better? 

4)  One hot weekend, 10 shootings.  All it takes is a bit of warm weather for the Wiz Khlaifas to come out.  Wix Khalifas and people who most likely would vote democrat.  Wix Khalifas, Democrats, and people who tattoo names in old english font.

5)  Whitney Houston is still dead.  But she will always love me.

6)  Mayor Emmanuel is moving to make some tech high schools, 6 year schools.  the last two years would be college coursework.  ITS CALLED COMMUNITY COLLEGE PEOPLE!.  People are walking around like Rahm invented Calculus.  The true genuis was not getting everyone to go to college by calling it something else, the genuis was in getting big Tech Firms to fund it.  Bravo

7)  Quick financial lesson to my daughter who said that the more somthing costs the better it is.  I told her "The government we have is the most expensive ever, and they cant even pass enogh bills to keep the country going for more than 3 months at a time. "  Expensive is not best.  Then I explained quality.  Since I could not find any examples of quality in Government, I chose to use steak.   Choice cuts are always tastiest, but not always most expensive.  The most expensive steaks are the ones with the mike symbol on them.  Nike sells almost everything.

8)  Pretty soon, ticket cameras will begin to put Chicago Police officers out of work.  New cameras will be able to get vin info off your dashvboard at 60 mph.  They will also be able to spot if you have a seatbelt on.  BEFORE YOU START trying to collect money for every fine you can think of, how bout you use these cameras to find the killers of the 6 year old girl in Little Village?

9)  There is a new show coming called Chicago Mob Wives.  I am already bored of it.  I bet though the show will be generic and dull as all the other reality tv.  I sure hope though, that  they find enough Italian old women, desperate to cling to their fading looks and sagging tits to fill the show.  Where oh where will we find enough brash women married to gangsters to go on tv and say shit like OMERTA/ Know the code/Cosa Nostra/whaddya kiddin me?/Fugeddaboutidit/you never go against the family/you're dead to me/etc.     The real mob was based in secrecy, and the thought of a mobster snitching to the cops to get off, and then hve his wife go on a show a publicise their secrets, has to make all those fat greasy mobsters roll over in their graves.  I am reminded of the geto boys lyric:  "real gangsta-ass niggas don't flex nuts, cause reall gangsta-ass niggas know they got em."  

10)  The Bears made big moves, and the Bulls wisely resisted making biug moves.  The blackhawks should follow suit, and we should all be inspired to pack the cubs off and send them to Seattle, so a rich guy can buy themm and move them to Oklahoma and make them great.

11)   The more i think about it, the more it feels like Romney is stringing along Santorum, until just before the Convention.  Then, Santorum, Paul, and anyone else will be easily eliminated setting a final showdown between Romney and Obama.  This will be one of the most depressing final showdowns ever.  Obama has sucked. i mean really really bad.  Call it a racist government, too much charisma, too little knowledge, a bad streak of luck.  The president has not gotten shit done.  The answer sure as hell not another 4 years.  The answer is sure as hell not Romney.  At this point, I am ready to to hire the quality control team of Toyota motor company.  They have been streamlining processes and making quality products for years and years and years and years.  I am sure we can take those same ideas to our government and get better results.  At the very least we can get rid of a few jerk politicians, and improve it year to year.      

     Thats it for now guys.

Jokey Jokemaker

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

We need a new word for 'wack'

Sometimes, something is so terrible, there are not words to describe it. This here is a list that embodies that idea: here is listed the top five wackest rappers of all time. To meet this criteria, the rapper had to acheive great financial success and fame, yet not possess the skills to justify the success. We're talkin big record deals, bitches, the whole nine. So without further adeu, the worst rappers of all time, in order:

1. Baby a/k/a Birdman
While most of his money has been made as the head of Cash Money Records, this coonegro has the nerve to continue to put out his own stuff, much like Puff (n/k/a Diddy) did in the 90s. But even Puff was better than this clown. Ladies and gentlemen, your wackest of the wack!

2a. Juvenile
2b. Master P
Am I just hating on southern rappers? I guess we'll see in a few. Doesn't matter if I am or not--bottom line these dudes sucked.

3. Rick Ross
Okay so I'm hating on southern rappers. Sure they spit to hot beats bitches like to get naked to in shady establishments, but there's really no reason we should reward them for sub-par abilities. Would you pay your doctor illions (yeah you read that right--insert your own first letter) if their skills were sub-par? NO! So why do people attend concerts and buy records featuring wack MCs???

4a. Soulja Boy
4b. Tyga
Pretty much the same dude. Soulja Boy taught us to Superman hoes, and Tyga introduced us to Rack City Chicks. Both high quality examples of coonery.

5 Gucci Mane

Nuff said.