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HAPPY BDAY to Bella Baggins (7/6) and the BIGS (7/13)

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Weekend television sucks. No matter what time it is on a Saturday or Sunday, odds are you'll find something growing in the dirt more entertaining than what is on TV. It's times like these that I like to think back to the mid-eighties/early nineties where there would always be something to catch your interest and you could just turn your brain off for a few hours. Whether it was wrestling, B-movies, tractor pulls or anything else you were into, there was a good chance it was being shown somewhere. While it's true that most of these things are still on today, the one thing that's not is old kung-fu movies and the program that aired them, Samurai Sunday.

While not an actual show, Samurai Sunday was the name of a two-hour block on channel 66 (WGBO) in Chicago and every Sunday they would show a badly dubbed kung-fu movie. Unlike the other movie programs shown at the time it had no host, just the title in front of a color changing background accompanied by stereotypical karate music and after about fifteen seconds, the movie would start.

The majority of these titles were pretty obscure so nobody got their hopes up for a Bruce Lee movie although occasionally a Jackie Chan film was shown. Usually the plots involved a Samurai/Karate Student and his companions trying to rescue someone or avenge the death of their teacher while fighting hordes of evil Ninja Warriors/Punk Teenagers, so it was pretty much like watching the same movie every week. But when there's fist and steel flying through the air, nobody really gave a shit about the story.

What I really miss the most from Samurai Sunday are the good times had by all who watched it. Every week while others were going to church or shopping my friends and I had our eyes glued to the screen occasionally taking them away to act out our favorite part of the movies. One would grab a broom and another would take a cardboard tube sometimes with wrapping paper still on it then each would go to a far side of the room. After a moment, they would charge each other and proceed to fight until one of them falls (HINT: BROOM ALWAYS WINS). I guess in retrospect it wasn't a very smart thing to do but who cares, you're only a kid once, so you might as well enjoy it.

Unfortunately, the odds of a program like this coming back are pretty slim as the overall theme may offend people for some reason and the fact that the channel it was on became a Univision (Spanish channel) affiliate back in the mid-nineties doesn't help either. So in loving memory of my favorite kung-fu themed movie program, I ask that you listen to "Kung-Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas.

-Samurai Jesus

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

mmmm... that's my shit!

so people tell me..."'re the best person I know and i need help" this is when i correct them because that whole statement is crazy.
"i am the best person period...dont limit me to the small circle of people you know."

Humility is ingrained in my DNA! On a serious note, when someone asked me..."I need a song I can FEEL. A good love making earth shaking beat! This crap coming out is killing me!"

I was taken back because what is the default answer right here? MARVIN GAYE - SEXUAL HEALING? Since Austin Powers fucked that up, I mean how do u take it serious? I needed another one. AL GREEN? Dude was a bad man, and when you hear "let's stay together, "love and happiness" or damn near any know a good time is about to be had. I wonder if this will still work with this generation? Is there something more updated?

I am also addicted to Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes "Don't leave me this way" (right ISA), but is this the right answer? What is the song that will make the panties drop? the Heavy breathing to fog up the car windows? The Candles to burn to their limit? What perfect blend of music and lyrics will set the night on fire with buring desire and give u everything u require?

Chris Isaak - Wicked GAME? (btw...he really should shoot himself after making that song. He will never do better!) I am extending this search out to you guys because as awesome as I am ...i need help defining what is the default answer to...

"Baby, do you have some love making music?"

-iz3y sipping on courvoisier, wearing his smoking jacket!

Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes - Dont leave me this way

so you're saying we can't be friends?

Man, so this is my latest discovery...well not latest but it just popped up!

People who go on 'breaks' with one another, but don't really know what it means. I really want to shake these fools. Is that legal? I will ask my attny later, but for now, just know i might go with the shake or the famous Archie backhand. YOU'RE ON A BREAK means ur broken up. That means you cant call on them and EXPECT them to show up. You can't call them at two in the morning to talk then get mad when they don't answer. There are no suspended sessions in relationships. You are either in, or your ass is not.

Woman fall for this all the time. They figure a break means he is taking time to re-evaulate the woman's awesomeness and that when he snaps out of his 'childish' funk he will come rushing back. Actually, the guy is taking this time to fuck that girl he had been meaning to fuck or was falsely accused of fucking this whole time, but couldnt because he was with your nagging ass. Once he either fucks her, or strikes out...he will be back and more loving than ever...and you will have thought the 'break' was good for you.

Men...dont get all fucking cocky just yet. If you havent been paying attention to me all these years, you should know women are the same as men. There are no "that's a woman thing" or a "man thing" there is only the weak and the strong. Luckily, society conintually tries to fool woman, but a high number have been operating in secret and yes...a break for them also means they get to explore. So if you call and she suddenly is really busy or has to go out in the hallway to talk to you, that is only because she doesnt want the deep voice muthafucka accidently being heard on the phone.

A break is a breakup. It is not a time of pensive thinking. Could it be? Sure, but also understand that it is a time of unfettered living. Treat it as such and get ur fucking head out of the clouds. Dont watch movies and see how the main characters really love each other and are only broken up because the weak ass male lead hasnt got it together to know that the love of his life is the really gorgeous metropolitan female lead. You're not Carrie Bradshaw, and that aint fucking Mr. Big. If you are, that means you have been with every one that your whore friends haven't explored and him...well let's just say Mr. Big was banging away ...just ask your friends!

I am not trying to be too harsh here, but really, let's snap out of this fantasy people. let's get to the living and quit this virtual reality we have created for ourselves! There are too many great people, great times, and great memories that need to be created to waste on things that just arent real. Get out and choose life!!!


Milli Vanilli - Blame it on the RAin

Friday, November 13, 2009


Fat Johnner's
own wife
did not get on here to wish him a happy birthday? Now it REALLY REALLY sucks to be Johnner. At least Jokey Jokemaker316 thinks its funny as shit. Yeah, i started the sentence with a dangling participle, deal with it.

Muscularly yours,

Buff Bagwell

Monday, November 9, 2009

True Healthcare Reform--not Free Healthcare

The "history" that we witnessed on 11/7/2009 when the House of Representatives passed a bill on health care reform wasn't really what we needed. You can check out the highlights here: and decide for yourself but if you ask me, it would appear that our elected officials continue to miss the point on this.

Part of the problem appears to be the way the media refers to any legislation. Let's stop calling it "Nationalized Health care" because not everyone in the nation will be able to participate. Some 200 million already insured Americans may not be eligible for the benefits given under the bill. The only way many Americans will even see any change is in the effect the bill has on their employer and their insurance carrier.

The real problem is actually insurance. There is too much money being made (and paid) by the insurance industry. Insurance however is effectively the "middle man" in what should be a open market system of providers and patients that works to limit access to care and drive up the costs of providing service.

Currently insurance companies sell their services to large groups (read businesses with employees) and leverage these numbers to get contracts with providers (read doctors and hospitals). Having "coverage" supposedly allows an insured a "discount" with contracted providers. With some plans (like PPOs) you can go to a provider that isn't covered by contract, but then you aren't completely covered by your insurance. And some care (like physical therapy) aren't covered at all until you reach a certain threshold and once it does begin to pay, there are caps and limits as to how much the insurance will pay. In this way health insurance companies effectively operate like monopolies--which were illegal the last time I checked. (What excludes them from monopoly status however is the fact that different companies are allowed to operate in different states--thus there is sufficient competition under the law). Under this system, providers just sit and wait for patients. The insurance companies effectively filter patients to providers and the patients have no idea about the quality of care, competency of the doctors and worse, how much the provider is charging.

Contrast to what would happen if health care was a free-market system like say the tech industry. Supply, demand and quality dictate the pricing structure in the tech industry--why can't health care operate this way? Why not let me pick my health insurance like I do my auto insurance? Why not allow me to pick pieces from several insurance policies (if I'm willing to pay the premium price) much like I can build my own computer from individual parts? A truly free market system for health care would require providers to publish prices and for them to charge people based on those services, not what insurance company they are with. (In theory, BCBS may be able to get a more favorable contract than say UHC because it has more customers--thus individuals going to the same provider may pay different prices--or even worse, certain providers may not accept certain insurance because of these contracts (an attempt to freeze out competition) thus limiting access to certain providers).

With patients picking their own providers and pricing being dictated by the market, health insurers would need to switch their game up. Life insurance companies can't dictate where you get buried; health insurance companies shouldn't be able to dictate (with back room deals) where you get health care. Health insurance companies should have to compete for customers in the same way every other market segment does. (Allegedly they do this now, but I'm talking about on an individual basis rather than a group basis. Say what you want about the cost savings of insuring groups of people--but won't "the market" correct those costs?) If I'm a cancer patient and the best treatment is available in Idaho, I should be able to go there and have my insurance cover whatever I contract with them to cover--and in a "free market" that contract will be more favorable to the insured since the individual can shop around.

What about the other 30-40 million people that don't have health care? Well screw 'em. Understand that this is how capitalism and democracy works--there have to be have-nots. We cannot have it both ways--we cannot have low taxes and nationalized health care and education. Canada isn't that far away--perhaps the uninsured can move there? I'm sure they'd love to give up 50% of their income (provided they have jobs) to have free doctor's visits. But what would really work for those that are uninsured is to make it beneficial for doctors and providers to give pro bono services. Other professions are required to give so much of their service and talent away for free each year. Many private hospitals swear they are non-profit organizations anyway--make it part of their 503(c) (or whatever) status to give away a certain amount of health care services each year. Make it worth their while to take on 1-2 terminal cases quarter. Take the stress off public hospitals (the only facilities serving the uninsured) by providing some incentive to the private ones to take charity cases.

THAT my friends is health care REFORM, which is what the public asked for. Instead we got additions and complications. We just wanted government to fix what we had--not create something worse. Like the banking industry, health care should be regulated not restructured. Hopefully the Senate realizes with their version.