Shout OUT!

HAPPY BDAY to Bella Baggins (7/6) and the BIGS (7/13)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Only Thing You'd Lead is a Trip to the Tampon Station.

The NFC Title game this past Sunday has caused much controversy. People questioning Jay Cutler's toughness and leadership ability has been brought to the forefront. Is Jay capable mentally and physically of leading the Chicago Bears to the promised land?

Jay is a quitter. He is a poor leader. He did not drag his ass out onto that field and finish the game. What a pussy.

Comparisons to Michael Jordan, Brett Favre and other great team leaders throughout the years have been made.

Newsflash people!!! Michael Jordan is a quitter. He quit his basketball profession in 1993, in the prime of his career, because of the death of his father.

What a leader. Quits the game just because someone passed away. Couldn’t even muster the heart to throw himself back on the court.

One day after his father passed Brett Favre decided to play in a Monday night game against the Oakland Raiders. He didn't do much. He threw for 399 yards and four touchdowns and as we all know played many more years to come. There’s a leader. He didn't quit just because his father died.

In the first game of the 2009-2010 season versus Green Bay Brian Urlacher injured his wrist and had to have surgery as a result. The rest of the season he watched from the sidelines cheering and jeering his team as he watched them struggle to a record of 7-9.

Where’s your leadership skills Brian? You are a Defensive Captain!

He could have strapped a big ass cast on and played a few games later. He decided to not play and not be a leader and watch from the sidelines. Watching as his beloved coach fought for every win in an attempt to keep his position as head coach of the Chicago Bears.

In 1985 Ronnie Lott had the bone in the tip of his pinky finger shattered. He continued to play the remainder of the game and actually played in a playoff game before having the tip of the finger amputated during the offseason. That’s a leader!

Jake Peavy detached his latissimus dorsi on July 6 and missed the remainder of the season for the Chicago White Sox.

July 6!!!! The season goes through October! We were in a run for the division title and you couldn't come back because a muscle in your throwing arm was completely detached! You were supposed to contend to be the ace of the Chicago White Sox and you couldn’t play? Chump!

Jim Abbott was born without a right hand. He became a pitcher in Major League Baseball and pitched a no hitter for the New York Yankees on September 4, 1993. No right hand Jake!!!

During Lovie Smith’s 7 year run he has amassed a record of 66-52. Lovie has been to the NFC title game twice and the Super Bowl once but has not yet won a ring. That’s because he is a quiet little girl who doesn’t show any fire or passion on the sidelines. Lovie has one, maybe two Hall of Fame players playing for him during their prime. You call yourself a leader!?!? Only 14 games over .500 with hardly anything to work with and a carousel of QB’s. Pfft.

“Iron” Mike Ditka coached the Chicago Bears for over a decade. During his first full seven years his coaching record was 81-39. See what fire and passion brings you! 15 more wins and a Super Bowl title baby! He was only a Hall of Famer himself, had three hall of Fame players on his team, a defensive coach who was ahead of his time with the 4-6 defense, bad asses like Richard Dent, Gary Fencik, Wilbur Marshall, Tom Thayer and so on and so on. Lovie wouldn’t do jack with this type of quality on his team and the laxed rules the NFL had 25 years ago. When Coach took his talents to New Orleans he ended up with a 15-33 record! See how that translates Lovie! Fire and Passion equates to winning!!!

Brett Favre, Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are special people readers. Jay is not one of them.

But neither was Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Doug Williams, Jeff Hostetler, and the list can go on and on. Both winning and losing Super Bowl quarterbacks. Jay has the POTENTIAL to be on either side.

As fans we have the right to question everything. But for any of us to question the types of leaders they are is plain foolish. “Oh, but he made that face on the sideline and doesn’t look interested.” Maybe dude had to take a dump. Or, maybe that is just his demeanor. Unless we suit up with them or hear otherwise from their teammates we need to all shut the fuck up about who is or is not a leader.

Olin Kreutz, infamous for breaking the jaw of fellow lineman Fred Miller, is known as the Bulldog and fearless leader of the Chicago Bears offensive line said, “I didn’t think he was going to even finish the half. Then when he came out and tried it again [in the third quarter]; that amazed me. If you don’t have an MCL injury or whatever, then you don’t understand. It’s easy to question people from your couch, but it’s really stupid.”

Go up to Olin and question him about what he said. I dare you.

Jokes, defined further

Look to at the previous post for a joke.  You know what not a joke?  Some asshole taking a parody he saw on SNL, and having a buddy film them re-creating it with no high-tech graphics, music, or settings.  Yeah.  Some asshole trying to recreate a skit, or branching off os a funny skit.


I got no idea who this assclown is, but I know funny, and this shizznit ain't funny. 

Jokes, a clear definition of

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.  The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big 900Lb Santa Gertrudis Bull.  With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.  The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge... Show him your badge!!"

Jay Cutler is not the answer at QB for DA BEARS

Take it from someone who has played at the lowest levels of football and is therefore an expert at the position: Jay Cutler is NOT the answer at QB for the Bears. I'll break down the reasons shortly, but it doesn't matter who you surround him with at receiver, who you put in front of him on the offensive line and who you have calling the plays on the sideline, the guy is NOT going to take his team to the mountain top. And here's why:

1) He has TERRIBLE (said in a mix of Charles Barkley and Stephen A. Smith) mechanics. For every Brett Farve and Bernie Kosar there are ton's more Jeff George's throughout the history of the league--they're just so not memorable that I can't list them here. The point is that an NFL QB can't simply rely on his arm strength to make consistent and accurate throws. We here commentators say this all the time and it's true--look at the accuracy ANY quarterback has when he has time in the pocket to throw. Which leads to my next point...

2) Sure the Bears O-Line was the worst pass blocking O-line in football. Cutler was sacked 54 times this season, some his own fault, others because the line sucked. But Peyton Manning and Tom Brady had to endure injuries to their offensive lines this season as well. (More on those gentlemen in a minute). In fact, poor offensive line play plagued many teams at different points this season--even the Green Bay Packers (just ask anyone who played in a fantasy league where sacks count as negative points). You could put Cutler behind some of the leagues best offensive lines (San Diego, New Orleans) and you'd still have a problem. Speaking of which...

3) It wouldn't matter who Cutler threw to. Manning had to throw to Reggie Wayne and guys from the stands this season. Brady hasn't had a "#1 receiver" his entire time in New England with the exception of Randy Moss. Wes Fuckin Welker is his favorite target. Phillip Rivers continued to put up good numbers without Vincent Jackson and Anotonio Gates. Good quarterbacks make receivers better--just ask Pierre Garcon. Good receivers can definitely make a mediocre QB look good--it happened in both Detroit and Dallas this season--but that's rare. So the fact that Devin Hester and Johnny Knox aren't "#1 receivers" is a good point, but even if they were John Taylor and Jerry Rice Cutler would still fail.

4) And it wouldn't matter who was calling the plays or what system he plays in. The key to success in any offense is accuracy and consistency, two things which Cutler doesn't bring to the table. In fact he may actually take them OFF the table. He's certainly mobile and faster than he looks which work in his favor. Two strengths never really exploited in Chicago. He was so successful in Denver because the field was cut in half, his reads were made simpler and he could move--which is why Donovan failed in DC under Cutler's old coach (because he doesn't move as well anymore). He simply doesn't have the right mix of tools to succeed in any system I've ever seen the Bears run (which isn't saying much considering Erik Kramer is the Bears all time leader in QB rating). Which brings me to my last reason...

5) Cutler is not a leader of men. At least it doesn't seem this way from the outside looking in. The way his team rallied around him after the game on 1/23 you would think Cutler is the best teammate in the world. They say all the right things. They've even elected him captain--before he even took a snap in a Bears uniform. So perhaps I'm wrong about this one. The only thing to do is to compare him against other successful leaders at his position and see if he even matches up. To a person, everyone in New Orleans would take a bullet for Drew Brees. I mean the ENTIRE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS. Never mind the Superbowl ring he brought them--the guy is an amazing story period. He's inspiring and works his butt off to inspire others. Brady inspires his team which is full of guys just like him--glossed over in the draft, no one things they can succeed--and has 3 Superbowl rings to show for it. Big Ben hooks his guys up with hot college chicks and is working on his third ring. Phillip Rivers backs up his trash talk and wills his team to victory at times. And NO ONE who has ever played with Manning can claim to have outworked him--and that commands respect.

From the outside looking in, Cutler doesn't have Manning's work ethic. If he did, his mechanical flaws would have been fixed. Cutler is a former first round draft pick so he's cocky--not playing with a chip on his shoulder like Brady. Cutler is from Santa Claus, IN--does he even know any hot bitches like Big Ben (who is not afraid to travel far and wide to find them)? And he doesn't seem to be as competitive as Phillip Rivers, who developed a rep in college as having a Larry Bird-esque competitive streak. (Yes I used Larry Legend because Phillip Rivers is white).

And NO ONE in Chicago would lend Jay Cutler $5 let alone take a bullet for him like N'awlins would do for Brees. Is Cutler rebuilding dilapidated homes on the souf side? Is he opening up children's wings of hospitals? is he donating crazy loot to his alma mater? If he is, is it because of contractual obligation or because he actually feels a sense of responsibility to do so since, you know, he's been blessed with talent and money?

I'm sorry to break it to the city of Chicago, but as long as #6 is the QB, this city won't be Superbowl Shuffling. And until the Bears get someone Payton, Jordan or even Rose-esque at the QB position, it'll stay that way.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Women fight for the right to PAAAAARRTTTAAAYYY!!

OH YES...we bring to you just another reason to visit Florida...Disney World, spring break, the great weather and then this!

Thursday, January 20, 2011


  • I wish people would realize they are not on REALITY TV and grow the fuck up. My son, lilBDG, is more mature and has better manners than most of these fools running around...
  • Anthony Hopkins is playing a possessed guy in his next movie. I don't think he has that much acting to do. Look at that man. He is young priest and an old priest scenario all the time!
  • Steven Tyler is a lecherous old man! His one daughter is hot....not sure how any of that fits, but thank you for being on American Idol and giving my parents a purpose for watching the show. My dad also favors JLo....
  • Chicago sports are hot!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue to hate on us you hating bastards!
  • BEARS....PACKERS...SUNDAY....why isnt ESPN covering this like the Yankees vs Red Sox...Patriots VS [insert NFL team here]? Well because they dont want to come to a blue collar town and freeze their nuts off. They talk about the glory days of sports, but forget the glory days of journalism. Go have a smoke and drink with the players guys and start covering the sports and not making the news.
  • Dealerships dont rip you off as much as they prey on your ignorance. Quit being ignorant or fork over the money and feel comfort in ur ignorance!
  • if ur going to go through a mid life crisis, make it something meaninful. if ur under 50, ur not going through a MLC...ur just bored!
  • the best relationships are the ones where people are not afraid to speak their minds but are careful not to deliberately hurt feelings. They also involve good sex....
  • Talk softly but carry a big stick has turned into YELL LIKE A MORON.......yeah thats pretty much it. Thank you Housewife shows and Basketball wives!
  • Buy a MAC...this message brought to you by a guy who has been in IT since his uncle moved in, in the early 80s.
  • If you ask a computer guy to fix ur machine, expect to return the favor. Ladies, u might have to give it up to a geeky guy....yeah...BUY A MAC!
  • Why are the Simpsons still on the air?
  • I want to work for ESPN where i can write such definitive statements like...TEAM A IS GOING TO BE GREAT win it all, but with that being said.. I EXPECT TEAM B to make noise and pull off the upset. Thank you...
TIP OF THE WEEK: Eat at the French Market on Clinton and Randolph. Specifically at Pastoral. More specifically the following two sandwiches. Trust me on this, I know food!
  1. Panino d'Prosciutto....substitute the PODDA with MOZZARELLA and add mango chutney
  2. Club Nuovo....add Prosciutto and Quince/Apple Shallot Confit

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

It's just a game.

In today's Chicago Sun-Times respected Journalist Don Pierson wrote that this coming Sunday's NFC championship game between the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears is not the biggest game ever in the city of Chicago. He stated that the 1963 title game between the New York Football Giants and the Chicago Bears is the biggest game ever to be played because it was for the title.

I am no respected journalist and while millions have read your work Mr. Pierson the 3 people that read this blog will find that i respectfully disagree.

This game will be the 181st time the Packers and Bears will play each other. This is the longest rivalry in the history of football. During the previous 180 games they have only met once in the playoffs, 69 years ago. This isn't a wildcard game. This is for the right to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XLV.

The winner of Sunday's game will hoist the George S. Halas trophy which most likely will be presented to them by his daughter Virginia McCaskey. The winner will then play for the right to hoist the Vince T. Lombardi trophy on Sunday February 6, 2011.

I do not need to explain who the two men are that the trophies are named after. But if you do not understand the history and importance of this game then you do not know shit about this game we all love so much.

Damn i love me some pussy...

Annually 3-4 million cats and dogs are euthanized. The remains are then processed and turned into feed which is then fed to pigs, cows and other animals that we the people consume. When you see the label on a package that states "no animal by-products" it means the farm that the meat is from does not feed them the stray dogs and cats that were not picked up from your local humane society.

If you say "who cares" it's all good. But next time you are playing with your pet or someone else's why not just kill em, skin em, grill em and eat em.

I've noticed some strays wandering around my neighborhood. Can't wait to fire up the grill come summer. Yum!

Derrion Albert Killer Sentenced

A South Side teenager was sentenced to prison Tuesday until he’s 21 years old after being convicted in the fatal beating of 16-year-old Fenger High School honors student Derrion Albert.  And if the 15-year-old breaks any rules while incarcerated, he would have to serve 30 years in prison as an adult, Cook County Juvenile Court Judge Colleen Sheehan ruled.

Sheehan acknowledged that the 15-year-old hadn’t meant to seriously harm Albert in the Sept. 24, 2009, attack that was caught on a cellphone video that was widely seen on the Internet.  “Even though you didn’t intend to do that, you are responsible for his death,” Sheehan said.  The teenager, who was 14 at the time of the attack outside Fenger on the far South Side, could be released from prison before he is 21 but must serve at least five years behind bars, under the terms of his sentence.

He can be seen on the video punching Albert in the face, sending him crashing to the pavement.  Albert died after being punched, kicked and struck by wooden boards in broad daylight.  The 15-year-old was found “delinquent” — guilty, in juvenile court terminology — last month of murder.

Last week, a Cook County jury found another suspect in Albert’s death, Silvonus Shannon, guilty of murder. Three others are still awaiting trial.

On Tuesday, Albert’s mother, Anjanette Albert, told the teenager that he “stole” her gift when he killed her son. "You helped destroy a family,” she said.  The boy apologized to the family.

Monday, January 17, 2011

How FB redefined humanity

I was having a discussion over the summer with a colleague of mine over FB. His contention was that we havent done jack shit in the last decade to improve technology and in turn the human condition. He went on to pontificate that the GOOGLE revolution and the MICROSOFT evolution were things of the past. He basically sized up humanity for extinction because we no longer are striving to do shit except change our statuses on FaceBook, friend up people to join their mafia's, and post pix of embarrassing moments that used to remain relatively private.

IT was a great argument if you were person who never picked up a computer or your name is Sarah Palin, but it just didnt hold water. Nope...i had to interject. isnt only about tech. Tech while being digital still has a living organic component to it. It is a parasite and we are the fleshy fools who fuel it.

Nowadays lives are being defined at and i know i am not telling anyone anything they already didnt know. You are prolly reading this from FB and have already had ur fill of info for the hour. Newpapers, blogs, street corner criers, have no chance against the pull of Facebook. One of my co-workers told me once that if it is not on Facebook it didnt really happen or it wasn't that important to begin with. Think about that and then remember how you heard about the lastest tragedy or other big news. FB statuses made me turn on the news to find out about the shooting in AZ. Say i am out of touch or that i need better reading material if you want, but you can't deny that reach and the intricate bonds we have formed.

Friendship is now defined by a very public and digital contract. If your friend doesnt have an account u wonder if they have a brain. If you two are not friended up then you are not really friends. If you DEFRIEND a person...well you might as well brick their windows and shit on their carpet. Relationships have stepped it to another level using it as a beacon to signal to chickenheads that this profile...this HUMAN is off limits. People check their significant others profile page 5 minutes after they start going out and every hour after to see when that person thinks their relationship is official. Telling people is no longer need to be FB OFFICIAL.

Google advanced searching the web, then the internet "cloud" computing idea, and still tries to reinvent and reimagine every aspect of the computing experience. Microsoft and Apple do the same, and then there are millions of programmers around the world hoping to hit the next big thing or the next hot item that will take humanity to another level. This is what my friend wants to hear, but i have to break his heart and tell him...all those people have FB accounts. They are part of this wave of tech evolution and integration....we are on the GRID and again i am not telling you nothing you don't already know. I am just pointing out what you take for granted. This phase of tech evolution is the INTEGRATION...we are becoming the borg. "Resistance is futile!"

I am off to get my FB chip implant...wait no has produced that yet....


Friday, January 14, 2011

Did you hear?

Apparently, taylor lautner tried to kill a U.S Congresswoman from Arizona.  I guess she was on team Edward.  Wow, not too long ago, this young actor was famous for being buff and being a teen hearthrob, now he will go down in infamy for trying unsucessfully to kill a congressperson.  I guess this derails plans for Twilight part 5 (The Quest for More Money).  I am sure Ismael Julio Lopez is devastated

She did it to me again

Kim Kardashian doesn’t really do anything of course, but before this our famous celebrities who didn’t really do anything were fug whores like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Remember that? What the hell was that all about? So at least Kim is hot, and goes on her twitter and posts pics of her kick ass rack. The only way to get even more intimate pictures of Kim is to be a black athlete. I almost slightly forgot about her HUGE ASS.

Monday, January 10, 2011

It's Lunchtime!!!

Last week while listening to the radio the host declared the following. "Who grows up wanting to race a bicycle?" and "Bikes are for putting baseball cards in the spokes." are phrases that were declared.

Several years ago the man above was debating whether Lance Armstrong deserved to win Athlete of the Year over Tiger Woods. The man said that cycling isn't even a sport. That's right. Take another look at him. He still looks about the same today.

This isn't about doping allegations. This is about respect.

I challenge either of these two men to compete in the Tour de France.

Here are some stats for those of you who don't care one iota about cycling.

- The race is usually broken up into 21 days (stages) over approximately a 24 day period during the month of June.

- Over these 21 stages a cyclist covers over 2,100 miles with usually only 2 days of rest.

- During these stages there are Category 1 and Unclassified climbs into mountains which include the Alps and the Pyrenees.

- The categories are ranked by the steepness of the climb and height. Category 1 being the 2nd highest and Unclassified being so high that God hand the cyclists a water bottle if they need one.

- The climbs include gradients of 7.9 or higher. Jump on a treadmill and try 7.9. Imagine that on a bike.

I know, I know. So many cyclists have been found to be dopers. But you know what. Not all of them are!

The Tour will be going on for the 98th year in 2011. To watch the small French towns go crazy to catch a glimpse of all these men ride past them for a split second is awesome. The thousands of people who crowd the mountainside to cheer the men on as they search for every last ounce of strength they have to push those pedals is awe inspiring.

The sport of cycling uses strength, endurance, strategy, teamwork, the ability to work under pressure, the ability to work alone, hand eye coordination, courage, hard work and balls. Big balls. To go over 60mph down a a mountain with no rails to protect you from taking the plunge takes huge balls.

Just because you didn't grow up wanting to race bicycles doesn't mean there isn't a little boy somewhere, who just received a nice shiny bike from Santa, who wants to race the shit out of those two wheels.

Go ahead give the Tour a shot! You don't even have to enter. Just go while it isn't running and try the route.

Don't like something? Don't respect something? Fine. But don't force your ignorant opinions on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, there are people out there who can't make up their own minds and take every word people like you say to heart. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make it stupid. My 5 year old even understands that.

This is why Jimmy cannot hang out with the guys anymore

Izzy and Schweez are to blame. 


Sunday, January 9, 2011


I asked for anger and outrage, and i freakin got it.  Jared Lee Laughtner tried to kill a bunch of politicians in AZ., because he felt the system had failed him.  The millitary reportededly rejected him for mentasl instability, when he complained, they told him to take it up with his local politician.  WHO THE FUCK DID NOT SEE THAT COMING?

The details were part of criminal complaint filed against 22-year-old Jared Lee Loughner, the Tucson man now charged in Saturday's bloodbath at a supermarket where U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was hosting an open house for constituents. Investigators found a letter from the congresswoman in a safe at the house where Loughner lived with his parents, thanking him for attending a similar 2007 event, a federal agent's affidavit states.Among the dea are a federal judge, and some other democrats.

Roll is the fourth federal judge killed since 1979, when District Judge John Wood was slain in a contract killing outside his Texas home. In 1988, District Judge Richard Daronco of New York was killed by the father of a plaintiff whose case the judge had dismissed; and in 1989, Circuit Judge Robert Vance was killed by a mail bomb sent to his Alabama home by a man prosecutors said had a grudge against the appellate court on which Vance sat. In addition, the husband and mother of District Judge Joan Lefkow were killed in their Chicago home in 2005. A man who committed suicide two weeks later in Wisconsin left a note confessing to the killings, blaming a judgment against him in a malpractice case for the loss of his house, job and family, police said.

I fear that this event will result in politicians getting rid of all their friends, and listening soley to their puppetmaster for fear of being killed by angrered civilians.  This is pretty much the plotline for George Orwell's animal farm.   What they do not know is that if they hang out together, it makes them a more convenient target for people looking to do them harm. They should SPLIT UP, for their own safety. 

Read this first, then the second one

     It has taken several years, but authorities are making advances in the case of 8-12 men raping and assulting disabled women in nursing homes.  Even though one of the men turned himself in, authorities are dragging their asses to arrest all parties invloved.  I bet their is a son of a politician or police chief or some shit involved, and they are waiting for the kid to leave the country a la Roman Polanski. 

       Come the fuck on!  Years to crack the case?  You still got people feverishly trying to figure out who killed tupac and biggie?  Is there a reason we dont pull some people off the rapper murders, and put them on the RAPE OF DISABLED WOMEN CASE?  WHERE IS THE ANGER AND OUTRAGE?

Raving Lunatic

REGGIE MILLER CALLED.....................

Reggie Miller called when I posted ABout New York Sucking, and asked me how I could forget this one moment in NYC history.

It's always Miller time my friends

The troufases about saggin

Hello Gullible Morons,

     It is I, the foremost mind of the 22nd century, Esteban Augilando.  I have join this meager blog even though it is beneath my station in life, in order to dispell the myth that people wore saggy pants and invented the look that so many thugs and wanna-be whites copy because they could not afford a belt or electrical cord.   The Origin of the saggy pants actually comes from the PENAL system.  Remember that, as we delve deeper into the genesis, as a joke will quickly come to mind.  Inmates that were in jail, became insanely homosexual.  As a sign to show that they were homosexual, they would let their pants sag, and their asses show.  Rumors also persist that they would paint their buttocks red, as a means to show thet they were available for that type of love.  So today, when you see people with saggy pants, reciting Lil Wayne lyrics, chewing watermelon bubblicious gum, laugh to yourself, because they are advertising to the word that they are gay.  I would like to thank Timy Janda, for his years spent in the hellhole of jail for providing firsthand accounts of the pain and misery that is jailhouse life. 

I remain,

Esteban Augilando

Friday, January 7, 2011

Champagne wishes, dirty white bitches...I mean this shit is fuckin ridiclous

Some shit from 2010 that we don't need in 2011:

1) More hate.

Really it's getting old. It's to a point now that hating is profession. A lucrative one. Meanwhile all kinds of people are out of work--if only they all became professional haters! In 2009 hate was the new love; conversely love became the new hate (as outlined here). Now we've got people hating all over the place...and getting paid. It used to be you actually had to have talent or skill--now all you need is a platform. And yes I realize by including this in my list, I'm hating.

2) Tight sags.

I understand that most trends recycle. High top fades and mohawks are recent examples; afro's and flare pants prior to that. Retro eventually finds it's way to being cool. But tight sags left when Karl Kani and them decided to start making clothes for (ahem) those thicker in the lower region, rather than depending on Levi Strauss. It's not a good look. Which reminds me...

3) Sags generally.

No I'm not just getting old. Even when I was younger I didn't bust a sag. Call me corny all you want too--it's dumb. A colleague of mine recently directed me to an interesting article about the origin of the sag. Interesting stuff. As if we didn't have enough to remind us that the slave mentality hasn't completely left our society, we have cats out here intentionally wearing their pants at levels slaves used to--because "massa" wouldn't provide belts. In the words of Ed Lover--"C'MON SON!"

4) Disbelief.

Sure I'm cynical. I like to keep a realistic world view and not wear "rose colored" glasses. But I also know that as people we can will things into being. It is a trait of the Almighty and one of many signs that we were made in the image of something greater than anything found on this planet. You know how your mother/father/grandmother always told you that you could do whatever you put your mind too? It really is that simple. So in 2011 we really should drop the notion that we came from monkeys--and CAN'T do something.

5) Pictures of your reflection.

Attention pervs surfing the net for eye candy or even dates: if you can see the device that was used to take her picture, she's probably too young to be checkin out. I get self portraits. I also get that self portraits aren't supposed to be professional. But technology has gotten sophisticated enough that we should be able to step our game up to the point where we don't need to see the device used in the picture. Yes this goes against #1 above. But really, it's not a self portrait if it's a reflection...

6) Rappers named after Muppet phrases or clothing lines.

And their cohorts. In fact, I may incite a new civil war in this nation of hip-hop. The south needs to just secede. Someone asked me recently what happened to hip-hop. My original thought was when the entertainment conglomerates looked as it as the "new crack" and felt they could exploit it for profit the game changed. Surely it did. But that's not all. Surely that was the beginning. But if we could get people to actually believe they too could be "ballers and shot callers" and be true to themselves and "keep it real" while being rich--well that's a whole new ball game. That as my former boss would say was the game changer--when television began to tell-a-vision--is when hip hop changed forever. Sure there are still cats out there staying true to what hip hop originally was about. But their success pales in comparison to those who spread coonery via mass media (cable, internet and radio). More Mos and Talib, less Roscoe Dash and OJ the Juiceman.

So far that's all I could cook up. Feel free to add.

Your Highness in waiting,

The meanest, the prettiest, the baddest mo-fo low down in this town


Tuesday, January 4, 2011


The Only way these guys could have screwed up more, would have been to play for the New York Footbal Giants

CPS funds were spent on bug sweeps, booze: report

The Chicago Public Schools’ inspector general is questioning more than $800,000 in spending under two former school board presidents — from $3,000 to check the board’s offices for “eavesdropping devices” to $12,624 for holiday parties at a president’s home.

The expenses, Inspector General James M. Sullivan wrote in a report released Monday, undercut the board’s message that the cash-strapped school system needs to be responsible with taxpayers’ money. “The board allows for double reimbursements, the purchase of alcohol with public funds, catered lunches, publicly funded holiday parties and other gratuitous expenditures,” Sullivan wrote. “The message that budget cuts need to be made rings hollow when the board itself uses CPS funds irresponsibly.”

Sullivan’s report questions why the board used its budget to pay a surveillance company $3,000 to have certain school administrative offices “swept for electronic eavesdropping devices.” You have to spend public money for a public purpose,” Sullivan told the Chicago Sun-Times. “It would be hard to explain the public purpose for that.”

The sweep, according to a source familiar with the report, happened in July 2009 and included the offices of late School Board President Michael Scott and former schools’ CEO Ron Huberman. That’s the same month that Scott, who committed suicide in November 2009, and the board were subpoenaed as part of a federal investigation into whether clout had influenced admissions at elite Chicago public schools.

Huberman declined comment. No one has been charged with any criminal wrongdoing regarding school admissions.  In all, Sullivan’s report highlights $822,000 in questionable expenses under both Scott and his predecessor, Rufus Williams.

Williams, who also couldn’t be reached for comment, hosted board holiday parties at his home in 2006, 2007 and 2008, according to the report and a source with knowledge of it. A total of $10,639 for those events was charged on CPS credit cards, while CPS funds covered another $1,985 in party-related expenses.

Among other board expenses:

†$92,900 worth of donations to not-for-profits on which Scott or a family member of Scott’s at some point “served as a member of the board of directors.”

$979 for a one-night stay by Williams in a New York City hotel when he visited the Harlem Children’s Zone, and a $1,734 limousine tab during a Washington trip.

† $1,978 on alcoholic beverages.

On a personal note, Scott was a coward for killing himself before going to trial, but now I wonder if it was suicide, or murder.  I always say, if there ain't no witness, there ain't no trial.   Rufus is an asshole, who came to an event I attended and spoke for 4 hours on what Hip Hop means to inner city black youth.   I mean, some schools got kids getting sub-human ACT scores, and you lecture on fucking hip hop?   Rufus should have been murdered, and Scoot should have gone to trial.  Only in Todd Stroger's Chicago.