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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

From the Land of "NOSHITREALLY?"

“Kim Kardashian was stunned by the amount of bad press and the public relations nightmare she has endured since deciding to file for divorce, so she will be the focus of her tv shows to rehab her image.  The upcoming season will feature Kim Kardashian as the “victim” and Kris Humphries as the “lazy and insensitive” villain.  

Kim Kardashian has been raked over the coals in the court of public opinion ever since she filed for divorce from Kris Humphries. But we're supposed to believe that the real villain in the 72-day marriage, pals tell the tabloids, was out-of-work NBA star Karl  Humphries?   The articles say that he was mean and that he could be downright cruel to Kardashian.

“He belittled her in front of people,” one insider tells Us. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.  He tried to control Kim by bringing her down…He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.  He even took exception to her world-famous fat ass, by calling her fat-ass,   the source says.  And when Kardashian (who rarely drinks and tends to go to bed early) asked her man to skip the nights out in favor of quality time, “He would tell her she was acting like too much of a wife and ‘get over it.”

     Holy Fucking shit!  Really?  Really?  The article adds that Humphries resented his wife’s fame and fortune. The same fortune she got by fucking Ray-J, and negotiating a settlement and piece of every porno tape sold.  The same fortune that parlayed the family from a bunch of nobodies to a family of no talent schmucks and Bruce Jenner.  The same fortune that was built on a foundation of being a party girl, and charging for making appeareances at nightclubs and bars.   Lets make no mistake here, no one thinks she is famous for her cd's, workout videos, or clothing lines.  All of that fame. money, fake wedding publicity is a direct result of letting Ray-J stick his cock in her face.    The only difference between Kim and Monica Lewinsky, is that Kim KNOWS she is a fucking sham.  Monica recently turned 50, and was complaining about why no one takes her seriously, but thats a whole other blog. 

     To summarize,  Kim put on an elaborate sham with a man she dated for a few months, made 17M in endorsements, and divorced in 72 days, and I am supposed to feel bad for her?  She got it twisted thinking that Kevin Humphries married her for love.  He knew the game, he knew that is he marries her, he gets some sex, and a whole lot of money on the back end.  In this case, on the FAT end.    Kim kardashian will try to position herself as the new Jennifer Anniston, Sandra Bullock, or any other woman who has had a man treat them bad.  But that would be doing a disservice to Tina Turner, and all the women who have overcome real problems to overcome.  I could care less about whether or not Kim makes it thorugh these tough times, she will always have porn to fall back on.  In fact, I'm counting on it.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Why President Obama failed on the economy

When President Obama was elected, he thought he'd be able to apply Eisenhower-esque solutions to our countries economic problems. Except for he missed something pretty important--Eisenhower was able to do what he did because the country (dare I say the globe) was in an economic depression. In 2008 we weren't yet in a depression, we were only headed there but still in a recession. In order for President to "save" our country he should have allowed the economy to collapse into a depression.

By now you've already assumed "this guy isn't the brightest crayon in the box." When it comes to economics you'd be right. But there are some basic economic principals at play here that the President and his advisers sort of ignored. Like the value of the U.S. dollar goes down when more people have dollars. This is called "inflation." The solution isn't to give people more money--the solution is to take money out of circulation. Prices will then go down because hell, fewer people have money to spend. It's not like throwing money at the problem has forced companies to hire people, so the layoffs that would ensue from price correction are something that happened anyway (perhaps not at the same level they would had we not bailed out everyone and their mother but still). Bringing the 1920s back would have allowed Obama to strong arm republicans into growing government to keep the safety net in tact; instead the safety net is fraying as the government tries to cut spending. New enterprises would grow out of necessity as people would turn to hustling. The 20s had bootlegging; the 80s had crack--who knows what would have arisen in the 2000s?

Granted, going from a capitalist country to a socialist one isn't necessarily the answer either. But this quasi-sociocapitalism isn't working. True capitalism would have allowed AIG and the auto industry to fail. But true capitalism recognizes additional enterprises would have sprang up to replace those institutions, perhaps doing what they did smarter and more efficiently.

Making matters worse is that our governments are now nickel and dime-ing the citizenry (and to some extent their own employees) in order to make up for keeping the safety net in tact as the economy tries to stay afloat or "bounce back." Only problem is the economy can only bounce back after it has a chance to hit the floor. By not letting the ball drop all the way, President Obama failed us.

Monday, November 14, 2011

The NBA, too big to succeed?

NBA players reject league offer; begin to disband union


     It is I, The handsome Righthander, here to tell you that nothing of consequence has happend in sports lately.  "Wrong!" you say?  well to hell with you.  If you are one of the few people who is ignorant  and just a foolish fool in general, this blog is not for you.  In fact, by blog's end, you may not like me very much.  Don't worry, I will still continue to live my life without your support.  I will find a way to go on.  I will go on, much like the way the world has moved on without the NBA.  Just take a look at the picture above.  REALISTICALLY, how many players can you name? I got up to six.  I mean really, if you cannot even get your stars to come out and support the cause that puts food on your fucking table, how bad is your situation, and why should the average fan care?  Where is LeBron, Kobe, and all the torchbearers that will usher the NBA into new levels of prosparity?   I would even settle for Amare Stoudamire and his dumbass glasses.   After months of knowing that the league was going to take a hardline stance, you threaten to decertify and sue the league?  Why now, why not 8 months ago?  You face a situation where you have no leverage, no fans, and no supporters.  Plans of Players to start their own league have fizzled, plans to play in Europe have fizzled, and worse, the fanbase support has fizzled.  No one wants to see Carmelo Anthony the accountant, or Kevin Garnett the lawyer.  I also understand that No one pays to see Jerry Riensdorf hoop either.  Basketball is the single thing that made these people interesting, and they are no longer doing it.  "But Dewayne Wade is a clothing designer now,"  you say?  "Who gives a shit"  I say. 

 Your constituency is losing money every day, and has no financial backers to help defer costs.  NBA Player rep President Derek Fisher  and Union rep Billy Hunter have allowed egos to get in the way of making the best deal possible for the players.    People will find out soon enough just how replaceable the NBA is when they realize that Soccer is being marketed more aggressively to local bar owners. 

Who knows, maybe its just me, maybe I am too cynical.  Maybe only I think that players like Rashard Lewis making 18M per year, and are the 3rd option on their team are crazy.  I remember when Micheal Jordan made 6M, Toni Kukoc made 4M, and Pippen made 1.8M.  market value would have paid Jordan about 100M a year for all he brought to the league at that time.  He freakin SAVED the nba, and EVEN HE could not break 10 mil until his last 2 contracts at 33 and 36 M per year.  You mean to tell me Rashard Lewis deserves to make more last year than Pippen did in 11?   Owners have a right to demand concessions, owners have a right to pay what they want to pay, high or low.  Players have a right to either pay for that money, or go back to law school.  Players make too much, owners pay too much, and the league had owners losing money last year.  The whole model is out of whack and needs to be re-assessed.

     If you own a team, you should meet certain standards.  You should expect to be able to spend  a certain amount of money, and you should expect to make a certain amount of money.  You should not be a Donald Sterling and be thrifty to earn your money, nor should you pull a Jerry Colangelo, and blow your wad and decimate your team for years to come.  If you are a player, you should be aware that your ability to hoop is a gift, and your responsibility to manage as best possible.  Ask Antione Walker (bankrupt), Scottie Pippen (Bankrupt), and Craig Hodges (took a college coaching job and after 2 years had a 8-51 record, I mean this MF'er wone CHAMPIONSHIPS, and could not coach kids?), what they would do if they got a second chance.

   Last but not least, be a team.  Players who are tweeting about not trusting Fisher and Hunter, or each other, are being devisive.  They make the players look like a bunch of Occupy Portland weirdos.  What they need to do is all wear ties, all get educated, and sit down with owners to come to a conclusion on this matter.  Above all. NBA players should be aware that if the league boycotts the year, the owners can write it off on their Billionaire tax returns.  When you read players like Delonte West, who applied to work at Home Depot despite a million dollar contract, I laugh.  I am sure owners read that too.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Around My World of Sports...


Joey Cora followed Ozzie Guillen to Florida this past week. Not because he loves baseball or wants to manage one day but because his cock is so far up Ozzie's ass that he has to follow him wherever he goes.


Some former players have called Michael Jordan a sellout for his stance during the lockout. These are the same guys who don't understand that without #23 the NBA would have found it's demise in the mid 80's once Larry Legend and Earvin "damn he's still alive?" Johnson retired. He's an OWNER! Which side did you think he'd take?!?!

Formula 1

The Iceman might come back to F1 next season. And good for him. Out with Rubens and Schumi and bring in some young talent. He's already won a driver's title and would be welcomed back to the paddock with open arms. Let's just hope he hires a charm coach. Damn Finns have about as much personality as the deuce i just dropped.


Michael Vick is the most overrated QB since Ryan Leaf. I'm wrong? How many Super Bowl rings has he won? How many Super Bowls has he led his team to? He has a better chance of the dog whisperer giving him some tips if a gang of pit bulls have him cornered in an alley then ever winning an NFL championship.

NCAA Football

Joe Paterno will pass away this Saturday when a Nebraska Cornhusker will be running down the sideline and "accidentally" give him a forearm to the face followed by a beatdwon that would make the po-po who beat down Rodney King blush. He will then decapitate him and show his head to the ESPN camera and yell out "dun nuh nuh, dun nuh nuh!" hoping to make the #1 highlight on ESPN College Gameday.

Random thought of the week...

This Chaz Bono thing. I mean really nothing against transgender people but why the fuck was Chaz on DWTS? "Stars" is the tagline right? What has he done other than be born to some hippie? Not only Chaz but the Kardashian clan and whoever the hell was on that Hills show. Let's see some stars people. The mom from Family Ties, the two annoying guys from Laverne & Shirley, Potsie from Happy Days, let's see some talent!!!

Preview of next week...

Tony LaRussa will receive a DUI on his way to watch some new 3D porno in downtown Tokyo. Clay Matthews will be found positive for taking HGH which will not only prove he was involved with Brian Cushing in his own drug scandal but also that he's not really a man but instead Tina Yothers from the feel good family show Family Ties. Sandusky will run to Rome be indoctrinated and then be moved to a small church in rural Montana where the aforementioned Nebraska Cornhusker will be scouting some land for a real estate deal and will attempt to be the first non football highlight on College Gameday by performing his second live decapitation.