Mij Mils: Top Ten Lines/Moments

INTRO:

I wanted to do an interview of my best friend Jimmy Banda, aka Mij Mils, but the subject required more. With Omar 'jokeyjokemaker316' J, we did a Top Ten and a Mock Interview, and then he added is own spin to mock interview after talking to his publicist. So with Mij, we have to do the same...so here we are, enjoy...



THE TOP TEN GREATEST MOMENTS/LINES OF MIJ MILS!!!

1. "I am not an alcoholic, but i like a strong drink" - They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but those people don't know us! We were in the hotel room warming up for the night, when we decided to booze it up. Omar was making some bitch ass Rum and Cokes, when Jimmy stepped in and showed him how, giving birth to this line!


2. The Flying Paycheck - nothing captures Jimmy like the time in HS, when his paycheck flew out of the window of his car. Yeah, this man left it on the dash, and drove windows down. When it flew out, Jimmy merely shrugged and kept driving. He rationlized, he could always get another printed, so why slow down. The rest of the American public is slamming on the brakes.


3. "WU-TANG MUTHAFUCKA!!!" - we play spades, a lot! I know my African-American people just asked 'What they know about spades?' Well when u want to catch a proper ass whupping come and find out. So we are at U of I, and have the Wu-Tang clan Cds on permanent repeat...at some point Jimmy is kicking ass and decides to punctuate every winning bid with 'WU-TANG MUTHAFUCKA!!!' escalating to its 'WU MUTHAFUCKA...yeah..WU-TANG MUTHAFUCKA....' 5'10 weighing in at 140lbs..shouting this out! Oh...he was in Competition Mode


4. COMPETITION MODE JIMMY - This is a repeated moment..a loop if u will. See Jimmy is really quiet. He is so quiet, my dad would always ask him "What do you want to be when you grow up, I mean I know it wont be a TV Commentator.." Little did we know that COMPETITION MODE JIMMY lived inside this quiet shell. A few of tingtongtiddliest drinks and out he comes. Challenging all comers in cards, board games, arm wrestling, fishing, whatever the hell we are playing or talked about playing. He might even wrestle you. He mos def will talk shit and be loud...starting counter points with "FUCK YOOUUUU!"


5. "Yeah, I'd like to see u disappear" - Bachelor Party Vegas again... We went to eat a fine steak at Camelot's in Excalabur, which I know for some of you hard core Vegas degenerates is not great, but we thought it was the shit. GREAT FOOD! Anyway, after a few bottles of Red Wine and a great meal, were very content when a waiter/court jester rolls up and asks if we want to see a magic trick...we shake our heads no. As he is walking away Jimmy says, loudly enough for him to hear "Yeah, I'd like to see you disappear!" You could hear his heart breaking as walked.
   
6. Changing Mr. Banda's Tire! - On his Bday we took Mij out to celebrate and after standing in a crowded room at Spoon, we decided to get nostalgic and go to Tequila Roadhouse. On the way, there I felt the car pulling right. So I pulled Mij's car over and discovered the tire was flat. Mij was too hammered (the change from sober to hammered ~30sec) to even tell us where his jack was. So after examining the manual and finding the jack and spare tire, we started to change the tire. There was 6 inches of snow on the ground and freezing. As we worked, Omar with no gloves and hands turning Purple, and me and Roly almost getting crushed by car, Jimmy furiously worked the phone trying to tell Schweezy where we were. He had no idea himself, so that made it funnier. After about 15 min, he finally was convinced to get the fuck out of the car, whose tire were changing, and goes, "oh do you need a flashlight?" YES WE NEEDED A FUCKING FLASHLIGHT!!! Then he looks at Omar who cant even feel his hands and is staving off frostbite.."hey, take my gloves, my hands are all sweaty!" Then he gets BACK INTO A CAR THAT IS JACKED UP as we are changing the tires. BACK IN...the CAR...and after we are done he declares..."i want to eat." "Well whatever u want your highness...we will just finish up this small tire matter!"
   
7. "The Sun Rises in the WEST!!!" - We were fishing at Woodhaven, the official camp site of the FW crew, and it was really late, like the sky was getting lighter late. So we starting discussing which way was north because we wanted to find the NorthStar, and the Big Dipper...yeah, we were fucking astronomers in a past life. So I was like, that way is East because the Sun rises in the East, and Jimmy (CMJ) goes, no..."The SUN rises in the WEST!" He even convinced Omar of this...we actually debated this for 15 min, when clearly he knew he was wrong. Why continue debating? HE was CM Jimmy, and Omar actually believe it rose in the west.
   
8. The Jimmy Dance - Again, this is a series of moments. Every time Mij dances...hilarious. The man has seen one too many Cure vids, and I am sure his New Order addiction doesnt help. Now don't get me wrong, he dances with gusto, but still, it is interesting to say the least. Now, if I am in a pit, this is the guy I want, because pound for pound he is the toughest kid in there, but no salsa for this man!
   
9. "Oh Yeah, u gonna box the one-eyed champ" - This line led to the moment also known as 'the day someone shut Omar the fuck up!' This actually happened after the now infamous Omar dance episode, and we were eating tacos at Atotonilco on 57th and Kedzie (for those of you who want to visit the place where Omar was quiet). Omar was slobberknockered, and in full Tommy machine gun mode. He was absolutely killing me, and still mimicking his dance. So he says, "I am just beating u up...i am working the body...the body" or something to that effect because i was on the ropes. I saw blurry images, and i am sure i heard my mom crying somewhere. Then he starts to rise and proclaims, I am using the washroom, when Jimmy breaks out..."Oh YEAH, you gonna box the one-eyed champ?" STUNNED SILENCE...Omar actually sits back down..i am sure his bladder was not happy. He had no comeback...no line...just sat there. Jimmy had this huge smile, and my trainer was glad someone stopped the fight!
   
10. Jimmy makes money! - So again, we go back to Vegas, or any place they allow u to gamble. Jimmy has his talent for making people around him money. U play black jack, and if ur sitting next to him...you make money. One time, there were three guys and they were just about done. Like, 'I sold my plane ticket home' done. Well we show up, and over the next 2 hours, everyone is winniing. I am passing out on my cards and we are winning. To sum it up, He was even telling a a guy how to play and he went from 8 down to 13oo up and he promised if Jimmy was ever in Chicago, he would take him out to eat. I mean he even gave him his number in Lincoln Park...the guy was so ecstatic. The kid has ice waters in his veins...i mean u have to if play blackjack, or watch ur paycheck fly out of ur car window without a care, or dance the way he does!

That about does it for me...but please add to this list. When you have known Jimmy, aka Mij Mils, aka Cricket, aka Fimmy for any amount of time, you will have stories. I will be interested to see what people add.

-iz3y!