Things I think I think Vol 4

1)  A high school bus exploded as it was driving home students after school on the first day of school.  The blame was successfully linked to Obama's shitty governing of the country by Michelle Bachman.

2)  Chicago Bear Roy Williams, who was a star wide receiver not long ago, is a dickhead.  He held a press conference to discuss how no one is harder on himself than he is, and how his work ethic should never be questioned.  Hey Roy, you and I had the same number of catches in Monday's game,  and I was on my couch.  Number 1 receiver?  you look more like number 2.     

3)  The city of Los Angeles had its credit rating go from AAA to AA by some stodgy old credit rating company.  Residents can buy weed legally, and its always 70 degrees.  WINNER: Los Angeles

4)  As the COUNTRY goes down the toilet, Barack Obama is yachting in Martha's Vineyard spending vacation.  Didn't the country get on Bush's case when he went on vacation during a tumultuous economic time?  I guess its cool to vacation now because Barack fixed everything.  Before you assume I am republican, you should know I am independent.  You should also know that no one had higher expectations for the president than I, and no one is more disappointed than I, except black people, poor people, rich people, young people, old people, middle-aged people, white people, etc.

5)  Kim Kardashian got married. and it will be featured in a four, hour long episodes of Keeping in touch with the kardashian sisters, or whatever the fuck that show is called.  Every week, people will tune in and wonder if the groom will say I do or not, even though by the time the show airs, the couple will be divorced.  I wonder what the over under is on Kim letting herself go now that she is married, and her ass doubling in size.  Long time readers of this blog know how much i feature her ass in pics.  More to come.

6)  Momar Ghadaffi stole hundreds of billions of dollars in Libyan government monies, and is now on the lamb from US military troops.  I would just buy Norway, chill out, and claim diplomatic immunity.

7) Cat owners will never get it.  Jon Tumilson, a Navy SEAL, was one of 30 Americans killed in Afghanistan on Aug. 6th when a rocket-propelled grenade took out a U.S. Chinook helicopter. He was mourned at a service in Rockford, Iowa, attended by 1,500 family members, friends--and Hawkeye, Tumilson's dog.  The Labrador retriever was such an important part of Tumilson's life that the friends and family of the San Diego resident called the dog his "son." When Tumilson's friend Scott Nichols walked to the front of the room to speak, Hawkeye followed."As Nichols prepared to memorialize his friend, Hawkeye dutifully laid down near the casket, and died."

8)  Much was made earlier this year when Egyptian people in Cairo helped beam news of revolt and uprising to the rest of the world via twitter and Internet.  Some jackass reporter also made news when he commented about how he heard helicoptors sounding like thunder descending and killing Osama Bin Laden.  The bounty has been stepped up however, in Libya.  Although Libyan rebels have been celebrating their advance this week into the capital of Tripoli, just a few weeks ago, they had a problem. Outgunned and poorly trained, Libya's ragtag opposition forces were the object of pitying--if not unsympathetic--reports by the journalists covering their seemingly hapless efforts to advance and hold ground against Gadhafi's professional forces, who were better trained and better equipped.  Naturally, the rebels turned to the Internet for help. In June, members of the Libyan National Transition Council were "searching the Web," the New York Times reports, where they found information about a surveillance drone--"essentially a tiny, four-rotor helicopter dangling a pod carrying stabilized-image day- and night-vision cameras"--made by Aeryon Labs of Waterloo, Ontario.  So they bought some.  The Canadian firm rode planes, boats, and dusty trails to hand deliver the drones.  Some shit is too important for FedEx.  When your death drone absolutely, positively has to get there.... Aeryon Labs!
   

9)  I just ordered a drone of death

10)  Craziest story I heard this year, The government creates hurricanes to sell more plywood, used to cover windows from debris.  I have successfully blames this story on Obama's shitty governing of the country.

11)  Bonus story:
Depaul Men's Assistant Basketball coach Billy Garrett came back from an 11 day trip to France with the team to find his house robbed and empty.  First off, FRANCE?  People barely give a shit about the team here, in their hometown.  I mean they play in home games in freakin ROSEMONT!  It turns out the landlord wanted to do some work to the house, and Garrett refused.  The fam goes on vaca, the landlord shows up, the house is filthy, the landlord puts all the stuff in storage, and begins to renovate.  GARRETT comes back all refreshed and french and shit, freaks out, CALLS COPS AND FILES A THEFT REPORT!  I smell a scam in the works.  So did the cops, as they flat out refused to take the theft report seriously.  "Stop being a corny-ass bitch," cops said.  "You are a goddamn man, your name is William, not Billy, you did not get robbed, your shit is at the local public warehouse.  Pay your rent, and listen to your landlord!"