I. Why do people bitch about traveling for work? I never really understood this. I am not talking about those who are road warriors and are in different time zones 80-99% of the time. Your not traveling for work bitch....u have no home. You home is an airport terminal. Nope my gaze is strictly focused on the muthafuckas bitching about a couple days out of the month to good destinations. They annoy me more than the work at home bitches. I just got back from Orlando where I did a fair amount of work. Still, I was in Orlando when the weather was dog shit here. My company spotted me the hotel, car, air fare and food. Some people call this a vacation.
II. i really cant stand people who think they are super clever because they do nothing but bag on other people. I mean every once in a fucking while try to show love. Sportswriters/radio host...please, we get it...ur an angry little non athletic bitch who could never play so now we hear u whine all the time. I have a friend in the industry who does a pretty good job playing devil's advocate and i think there is something in his head that clicks when is about to cross the line towards being a whiny bitch. I recently had a lengthy argument with him over Cutler and that is what it was. A discussion/arguments with points and couter points. Most of these numb nuts just spout out their dumb ass thoughts and expect us to bow at their feet.
III. Can we all take a deep breath? you fucking fantasy owners are killing me. We are 4 games into the season (baseball) and already i hear u moaning. Guys/girls/dorks...it is going to be ok. there are 162 games to be played. Lets not jump off a ledge because Justing upton is 0-17 for the season. Also, who doubted Carlos Quentin...please stand up so I can smack the shit out of u. 162 games people...lets let them find their swings. Cub Fans, relax...Kevin Gregg sucked b4 he got to your team, and he is going to suck for your team. If your fucking team wasnt biased to white people that resemble your fans you would know that Carlos Zambrano has been ur best pitcher for the last 5-6 years and that Carlos Marmol is the best shot at a closer (and yes i know he sux porno dick). Yes, i did just pull out the race card, and talked Cubs baseball. ohhh..fuck the Cubs...
IV. You know what is super baller...watching a drunk stripper/whore make a fool of herself at a mexican restaurant at 2am, all the while her friend is convincing her to stay out and 'have a good time'. The icing...the two guys who are super excited that the friend is doing a great job convincing. Do they make steel belted or kevlar condoms?
V. i think we should all chip in and define the baby shower/wedding shower rules. Is it now a couples thing? Women only? what? It is getting pretty annoying having to guess and then the default being couples. What do guys do at these things....we make them BBQs. Is that what u wanted, because that is all your getting. Beer, charcoal, half a cow, and ridiculous comments slurred out on film as u open the latest elmo toy. We need to get on this...YES WE CAN!
VI. So Obama is the latest sports prognosticator. Dude, ur the president. Now ur winning NCAA brackets, calling NBA championships, meeting heads of state, giving advice to women's groups...is there something u dont do u perfect muthafucka? U best moderate this shit, because people in the hood are gonna start calling u a know-it- all trick. You're my boy...just letting u know.
VII. Facebook vs Twitter vs My Space vs Hi-5...i say who the fuck cares. The real genius is the one who combines them all into a seamless portal so you can manage all of them easily. Much like the universal chat client, and the one size fits all T-shirt. I am fully aware i just gave away a million dollar idea, but honestly i am not a programmer, have no intention of programming, and really would just like to see us advance as a human race.
VIII. i want to go to Sicily and do the whole Michael Corleone getaway. I talked to a Sicilian and i hear it is a great place. BEautiful really! My lil sis went and told me nothing about it, only now she is deep with this 'family', talks with her hands, and keeps asking me to call her Dona...Dona Lopez or something. Oh and for a tribute...not sure what that is all about, but when i think of Sicily i think of the scene in True Romance. Either way, i have decided to visit the 'SOUTHSIDE' of Italy.
IX. Happy Easter. Pretty wild that we went from a the son of God escaping a cave with a boulder for a door, to a pink bunny hiding eggs. i really got nothing much more to say except, I love Cadbury eggs, and JC is my homeboy. oh oh oh..and we can eat steak on Friday again.
X. I heart Hipsters. Thank you...thank you all of you for doing what u do. I could be mad, sad, depressed, or just straight 'don't fuck with me' mode but when i see u guys with your girl pants and geek chic glasses, i am automatically in a better mood. I mean wow...you do realize that in 10-20 years you will look back and wonder to yourself, when was it cool to wear pants that tight. To quote Jay-Z, "i cant wear skinny jeans because my nuts dont fit!" I like not having my balls squeezed up into my lower intenstine, but hey, thanks for the laughs brothers...keep up the good work!
luv luv luv
-iz3y!
The Cure - Lets Go to Bed
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