Ice Cube is a trick ass bitch

So i was rollin around Century City California yesterday in my low-rider 64 Impala with a candied Maroon and blood red pinstripes, when I got stopped at a light.  Force of habit had me looking around with my hand on my Desert Eagle 5.0.   You got to keep your head on a swivel when you're in a vicious cockfight.  A saw a starbucks out of the corner of me eye.  So I rolled over there to get a Carmel Machiatto, figuring the cafieene would help keep me alert.  Some nerdy fuck in front of me had an order that took like 10 minutes to complete.  It was a dizzying array of "twists" and "sprinkles," and  whatnot.  Low and behold, the nerdy fucker was O'Shay Jackson.  AKA ICE MOTHERFUCKING CUBE!  I was like "Yo man, whats good?"  He looked at me and furrowed his brow in a vain attempt to understand me.  I must have been a sight in my White Sox hat, black khaki shirt , and black Dickies pants, cuffed perfectly at my black all-stars with the flaps folded down.  He was clad in a seersucker suit with fake glasses on and a neatly trimmed beard.  Gone were the jheri curls, the thuggish gear, the air Jordans, everything that came to be synonymous with general skullduggery.  I remember when Ice Cube scared the fuck out of white America because little timmy o'toole wanted to grow up to fuck the police and roll around in a 64 Impala. I took those early lesson to heart. and so did most people with a single parent household with a gross income less than 30k. Funny thing is, many kids with rich as parents in the whitest parts of the country took it to heart too.  I mean, whiter than a mayo sandwich in a snowstorm cats were thuggin.  You had motherfuckers BANGIN IN LITTLE ROCK!  How ICE CUBE, how could you turn your back on that power and make some fuckin TBS show?  You basically made yourself the black Kramer; a goofy next-door type who comes in and provides comic relief.  I heard you recently won an Image/Icon/Onyx award.  Keep that shit dog, because your wham award category you competition was like, Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry, and an inanimate carbon rod.  You turned your back on your constituency and sung and tap danced for those older parents who once feared you.  They don't like you idiot, they like the fact that you are a hammy ass whack actor/rapper/producer.  The i got mad and flipped over his drink, called him a bitch, and left.  Did he follow me and try to pick a fight?  No.  He wept bitterly and sobbed like a mark-ass trick-ass bitch ass Buster.

I guess now for hard core rap i can always look forward to ......... lil whoever/yung whatever/wakka flakka whomever with a catchy song like Douggie.  The Douggie, is the laziest song and dance ever.  Leave it to the idiot masses to celebrate a song that a fat diabetic can do with minimal effort and try to make it the next freakin TWIST!  Chubby Checker must be twisting in his grave, assuming he has not had his plot recycled and other people buried on top of him.