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1) Lindsey Lohan is drinking, clubbing, and snorting coke off of hooker's asses while in Rehab.
2) mancow went from small station, to bigger station, to biggest station, to pissing on the deal howard stern got with satellite radio, and is now broadcasting from my garage. His garage broadcasts are way better then howard stern. Howard Stern returned my call and said "Well, i can swear on my show." I said "I don';lt give a shit, you can swear in the woods too, either way no one will hear that shit." I also said "Motherfucking Osam aBin Laden could be your co-host and for 12 years no one would find him." He wept bitterly
3) Lady gaga lets fans grope her.
4) Jay Mohr is only still relevant because he does a funny Tracy Morgan Impression. Tracy Morgan dies today of kidney transplant complications. So thats 2 careers dead. Where on earth will we find a black man to act ridiculous and get all loud and shit at wildly innappropriate times, increasing the humor?
5) Jacob O'Donnel. Just kidding, I do not know who this person is. They did not exist until they lashed out at me for my blog posts. You are most definitely on my radar now, and i hope that with every word, every line I write, you see that anyone can rip on someone else's creation, but only true genuis can create. Not just kinda good, or not too shabby, i'm talking about true genuis. My pen is made of Unicorn horn, my ink is dragon blood, thats how rare my shit is. I wake up in the morning and piss excellence. Excellence and Ciroc Vodka, the finest of vodkas.
6) The one reason why Black Swan got so much attention is because there’s a scene where Mila Kunis essentially pounces on Natalie Portman and goes down on her. Another reason was Darren Aronofskys ability to tell a complex story about a downward spiral into madness. But really it was that first one, about lesbians and pussy. Hollywood is full of sexual degenerates, and they reward sexual depravity in an effort to blur the lines between art and porno.
7) The POPE spoke about about condom use as an effective means to prevent disease, but then backtracked and said that he did not approve condom use. This is like Johnner talking about sports, non-pointy shoes, or anything related to popular culture, religion, politics, world news, history, art, current events, fiscal responsibility, etc. This is like P DIDDY judging a rap contest, J Lo judging American Idol, rock and roll speaking out against drug use. it makes no sense, and one should disregard the source
8) The FCC just voted to approve regulations that ensure net neutrality, making it unlawful for bigger companies to pay for more exposure, faster connections, and premuim treatment. Tuesday's vote is the culmination of five years of fighting over how best to ensure the free flow of information in all its forms over the internet. The bigger companies are upset, becazuse this means that phones with ANY company or ANY Service will be able to stream videos and content at the same speeds. Apple and IPHONE were devastated that they will have to slum it with the low-techies like myself. My question is, will jerky snobs still line up to pay apple and AT&T exorbitant fees for service they can get anywhere?
9) Terrel Owens. Hurt his knee, is out for the year, and hopfully the career of one of the most hated men in pro football is over. Was he good? yes. Was he the best? Fuck no. Was he a pariah on every team he played on? Yes. Did he blame everyone else for his shortcomings? Yes. Will he try vainly to stick around longe past his prime al la Brett Farve? Yes. Should he have retired 4 years ago? Yes. Did he ever find love on his reality show? Who knows, I cannot find anyone who ever saw it. I bet he marries a NBA wife/baby mamma/concubine just for the TV time.
10) The Punter for the New York Giants kicked it to DeSean Jackson, who promptly returned it for a game-winning score. "I thought we could take him" he said. Who cares, YOU'RE A PUNTER. Even the punters in NYC are jerks.
11) I had a group of tow-truck drivers complain about the blog. I told them my story, and thery agreed that the tow truck driver I dealth with acted hastily. They asked me to write a retraction to my blog post and apoligize. Here goes: "At least you're not NY Giants fans, cause then I would really hate you!"
Jokey Jokemaker
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