Hello friends,
It is I, The Handsome Right-hander, and I have returned with a list of reasons why Eli Manning sucks.
1) He lives in New York
2) He is a whiner, which is saying he is a perfectionist without he himself being perfect.
3) He pouts when recivers do not catch his wildly thrown passes
4) When recievers miraculously catch his shitty throws, he acts like he is Joe freakin Montana, the best tackler ever in te NFL.
5) The lone SuperBowl win, was a result of him running for his life and throwing up a prayer that a superb athlete caught. It could have been almost anyone throwing that. The team may be the luckiest team to win, but not the most skilled.
6) He acts like he team goes to the Superbowl every year
7) His team gets to the playoffs often, but i guarantee that every year, 12 teams go to the playoffs, and 11 will go home losers. This time-tested argument is like saying, "Once i woke up and won the lottery, so from now on, every morning i wake up, I will win the lottery."
8) He looks like a horse
9) Every year, his team goes through some turmoil, and every year someone steps up and takes leadership of the team. Every year, its someone other than Eli Manning
10) I am still upset he pouted like a kid when he got drafted by San Diego, a team with a stud defense and good running game. He demanded and got a trade to New York, a team with a stud defense and good running game. He went to NYC for the glitz and glamour, indirectly creating in NYC the notion that years later, LEBRON JAMES would do the same.
11) The team has stood for smoke and mirrors, all style and substance, and attracting the types of fans that are the same. They all wear Manning jerseys
12) Ex-Giant Hall Of Famer Lawrence Taylor rapes teenage girls, and is a good friend of Eli Manning
13) The got rid of Jeremy Shockey because he was too self centered and full of smoke and mirrors, style with no substance, and claim it was bad for the team. Eli went and demanded they get rid of him, and pouted till they did
14) the New York Giants play all their home games in New Jersey, and Eli Manning is a jerk
15) Eli manning's team lost on a last second touchdown to the Eagles, and all reporters were disgusted with the play of the giants. ELi waited in the press room for the crowds to ask him about the game. No one showed except a dude who had smoked the bomb-ass Kush weed in the hallway lookijng for a place to catch a nap. As soon as that dude walked in, Eli starts a conference no one heard. The dude did not have a tape recorder, and dozed off soon after it started
THR
Midwesterner
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