2) Kobe Bryant got fined 100,000 dollars for calling a referee a "Faggot." I would tend to believe Kobe because not only is the ref always patting the guys on the butt, but he showers with them too according to my Los Angeles Laker contact, CRAZY-ASS RON ARTEST.
3) Lebron James' mom slapped a valet who did not get her car fast enough. Reportedly she was SHITHOUSE drunk, and thought she was RICK JAMES. I got a riddle for the valet: What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP! In momma James's defense, "She's a very kinky girl, the kind you don't take home to momma."
4) The worlds first 3 D porn film to be shown in a theatre sold out in Hong Kong, In Japan, Not so much. They are more worried about corpses washing up on the shores, and possibly being radioactive for the next few hundred years Glad to know that Hong Kong has its priorities straight.
5) A prostitute/massuese was busted for the 5th time in New York. Why is this news? Her name is Suk Ho. Insert joke here
6) Jimmy Banda has booked a flight to New York
7) A former student of mine who was a manager at UPS and a Student at a local Community College, was busted for prostitution. Apparently when I said "get a internship, she heard "GO SUCK PENISES FOR MONEY." On a brighter note, the student I told to "Go suck penises for money," has a nice internship with one of the big four accounting firms.
8) The Cubs suck Donkey balls, but what else is new right? Well, I for one, never knew White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen got so mad. He said :"This ain’t on me."
Guillen tackled a first, tenuous question about bullpen “déjà vu,” and set off on a rant: “When you have a bad bullpen, that’s what happens. That’s what happens. That’s the third time this has happened. I wish I knew who I could bring in the ninth. I mean, we tried everyone in one inning. No more excuses.”
Guillen then proceeded to throw 21-year-old reliever Chris Sale under the bus, accepting no responsibility for running the lefthander right back out after having thrown 34 pitches in two innings just half a day earlier.
“We had a three-run lead, and he said he could go,” was Guillen’s explanation for plugging Sale right back into action. While on the surface Guillen appeared to be enraged by his media session and furious at his cowardly lion of a bullpen, it was clear he was growing increasingly angry at himself for precipitating the situation.
Asked for his opinion on his wheezing pen, Guillen took a seat in the stands, or press row, rather than the dugout, where he was tossing cups full of water as his team melted before him: “I see what you guys see. Next. What the hell am I going to see? I see the same shit you guys see.”
Drunkenly descending into a spate of postgame madness, Guillen became increasingly blinded by rage, hopping from excusing Sergio Santos from the debacle (ignoring the fact that the righty threw just 24 pitches yesterday vs. Sale’s 34) to an offhand joke about calling in ex-Sox closing ace Bobby Thigpen [now Single-A Winston-Salem pitching coach] to help out before a final, ranting meltdown against his own pitchers, a scene almost frightening to witness. “When we play good, they send those guys to this God-damn table and talk to them like heroes,” Guillen spat. “When we fuck it up, I’m the one who has to God-damn sit here and talk to you guys.”
9) Jimmy Banda got busted in NYC with a woman named Suk Ho, her cousin STANKIN ASS, and her sister Dirty, I wonder what they were up to?
10) Obama does not know how to solve the tax problem. He should use SNOPES.com There I found this:Guillen then proceeded to throw 21-year-old reliever Chris Sale under the bus, accepting no responsibility for running the lefthander right back out after having thrown 34 pitches in two innings just half a day earlier.
“We had a three-run lead, and he said he could go,” was Guillen’s explanation for plugging Sale right back into action. While on the surface Guillen appeared to be enraged by his media session and furious at his cowardly lion of a bullpen, it was clear he was growing increasingly angry at himself for precipitating the situation.
Asked for his opinion on his wheezing pen, Guillen took a seat in the stands, or press row, rather than the dugout, where he was tossing cups full of water as his team melted before him: “I see what you guys see. Next. What the hell am I going to see? I see the same shit you guys see.”
Drunkenly descending into a spate of postgame madness, Guillen became increasingly blinded by rage, hopping from excusing Sergio Santos from the debacle (ignoring the fact that the righty threw just 24 pitches yesterday vs. Sale’s 34) to an offhand joke about calling in ex-Sox closing ace Bobby Thigpen [now Single-A Winston-Salem pitching coach] to help out before a final, ranting meltdown against his own pitchers, a scene almost frightening to witness. “When we play good, they send those guys to this God-damn table and talk to them like heroes,” Guillen spat. “When we fuck it up, I’m the one who has to God-damn sit here and talk to you guys.”
9) Jimmy Banda got busted in NYC with a woman named Suk Ho, her cousin STANKIN ASS, and her sister Dirty, I wonder what they were up to?
Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men ? the poorest ? would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1, the sixth would pay $3, the seventh $7, the eighth $12, the ninth $18, and the tenth man ? the richest ? would pay $59.
That's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement ? until one day, the owner threw them a curve (in tax language a tax cut).
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.00.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six ? the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?" The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, Then the fifth man and the sixth man would end up being PAID to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man who pointed to the tenth. "But he got $7!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man, "I only saved a dollar, too . . . It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!" "That's true!" shouted the seventh man, "why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!" "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of paying the bill! Imagine that!
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