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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Valentines Day Ruined?????

I cannot believe this happened again.
Jokeyjokemaker's car has been put out of commission. My baby has been sidelined. I don't think you the average reader can truly understand. I love this car almost as much as I love my women. I treat that car with a gentle hand and a soft chamois. It is more than a car to me, and now it has been spoiled. No matter how much reconstruction and fine arabian oil goes into the car, I will forever have knowledge of this alternator failure. My car hood paint paint also chipped a liitle. I feel like crying right now.

Who would allow such a thing? Not only am I upset by the alternator failure, which is quite possibly my favorite part of the vehicle, but there was no note of apology from the manufacturer, or a phone number so they could send me a new one which is well within my "LIFETIME GUARANTEE." No responsibility was taken, and this makes my heart ache. Whether you damage someone's 4 door 1993 Nissan Sentra XE or plan to bring a woman to new heights of sexual pleasure, you have to take responsibility to follow through, no matter what.

Perhaps you don't understand the great care that I provide for this automobile. It is only taken out when I wish to look lovingly on its smooth, perfect lines, or if I have six hours and a shady day to wax it. Most of the time, I keep this beautiful vehicle in a safe storage facility where I leave it swathed like a newborn baby in the finest linen car cover that one can have a mexican relative bring over from the country of Mexico. It is in this manner this car is meant to be treated.

I only brought it out of its soft multi-colored garage because I wanted to take my special lady away for a romantic trip to the country for some anal. Now that the alternator has exploded because of some unknown automotive parts company, that plan has been changed. I'm saddened by this.

This car means so very much to me, since it transports me to and from chooch economically and quickly. It took me a long time to create the most perfect paint job for this vehicle after crashing it several times, which is black. Do you know how difficult it is to paint an automobile to match the color of your special lady's black hair? It is very difficult indeed, almost impossible. It would be too difficult to go through all that again. If my hand is forced, I will paint it a deep green, or possibly an eggshell white. Those colors are easy to keep clean, and would allow me to focus on punishing the chooch, not on getting a car wash or having my alternator explode.

The alternator failure could have been worse. I suppose I should be thankful that the soft faux fur seat covers have not been damaged nor has my collection of driving R&B mix cd's been stolen. Once fixed, I should take it for a ride to make sure the handling is still in fine condition so I can recieve roadhead and still stay in my designated lane. The chooch punisher is nothing if not aware of the rules of the road.

The alternator will be replaced, and the anal will happen, but I believe a little part of me will be be much more more worried about some hidden engine part this valentines Day than making my one special lady howl like a wolf.

1 comment:

strawberrykiss said...

your gross overcompensation in talking about sex is actually pretty sad, dude.