What is it with these lists nowadays. Facebook is being swarmed with this phenomenon right now where people have to list out 25 facts about themselves. You arrogant muthafuckas, thinking someone wants to sit through 25 mindless ramblings about you. Well actually, we do! People always hope that they can pick up some new nugget (no not chicken mcNuggets Jokey) about a person they know. Well I did one and Jokey was all on my nuts to write more. He is a fan like that. Strawberry Kiss wondered if it was scary that I knew so much about myself, but like i told her, I talk to myself regularly. Anyway, here goes some more off the wall shit to kill your Wednesday and possibly give u ammo for the next time I am busting ur chops. Please feel free to add shit you think u know about me, or even put your own mindless ramblings.
Random Fact: I truly stand 5'8". I wished i was 6', a doctor swore i would only be 5' and when it comes to board games I am 8'3" and the master of all I see.
Stupid Bet: I bet Jokey a PUNCH TO THE FACE, that Dave Chappelle said that Puffy had Dolphin teeth in the episode of THE HATERZ BALL. I am currently working out harder than Rocky in Rocky IV, and hiring Antonio Margarito's tape man... a little plaster of paris...NO, not me!
Guilty Pleasure (TV edition): I watched every episode of Sex and the City and loved that show. A great insight and proof to the fact women are just as bad as men about getting some ass. Another humorous side effect is this incessant need for women to categorize themselves after characters on the show. Everyone thinks they are Carrie, but most are truly like Charlotte or claim not to be slutty like Samantha. No one admits to being like Miranda...and yes, I know what the fuck all this means. I have broken ur code...I am sharing the secret to my male brothers.
Place i want to see before I bitch about it again!: Italy...Greece..Spain. Fuck I feel a whiny rant coming on.....
Guilty Pleasure TWO (DANCE EDITION): America's Best Dance crew is a great show. Yes, I try to do the choreography, and no I am no good at it. I was blessed with the ability to talk to machines...I must embrace my limitations and invent robot dancing legs.
Most Shocking unshocking revelation: I am a know it all smart ass. Thank you, i will be here all week u cretons! Actually, I do know it all, but i really make most of it up and make people believe it is real. I go as far as bend the time and space continuum.
Movie scene u should watch again: Kevin Spacey, SE7EN, when he is in the back of the Taxi. I am not even sure he is acting. I legitimately think he killed someone just before the cameras rolled and used it to make the scene more real. Besides, his rant sounds like something you would find on this blog. I recommend watching this movie again...make a date night!
FACEBOOK these nuts!: I started off chatting with a collegue, escalated to having some form of communication with my Sisters, and now I am basically working out the basis of a heroine network on that thing. Serious, i am on that thing enough to claim it as part of my actual daily work tasks. Engineer enterprise solutions for a Insurance company/Facebook with your peeps! Hell I am even close to becoming a hyporcrite, as I know have something like 90 friends, and i am sure I don't speak to 97% of them. I really only have them on there so I can read their personal info, and sound like I really care about them when I hit them up for money at some point down the road. Oh I will sound real sincere as I fleece you!
I will not be shackled: 4 years i wore a tie during my stay at the fine all-boys institution, Brother Rice College Prep. I learned to read and write, and even some math, all at the small cost of wearing this phallic symbol around my neck. Mine was always pretty sharp and flashy....but no longer...can't do it. I hate dressing up more than I hate people who get all puffy chested and start spouting off threats and ultimatums, WHEN YOU KNOW, they dont have the stones to back it up. I also hate cream cheese in my sushi...fucking stupid. Oh oh oh, and the CUBS...wont get into it.
No coffee, just shut the fuck up!: I am not a morning person, so don't ask me shit, or expect me to say shit. I am not going to say a damn thing to you and if I do it will have all the warmth of a cold ass January morning after a night of sipping malt liquor out of paper bag and being mugged by a homeless guy.
STOP ME IF U HEARD THIS BEFORE: I believe in anything that gives me my money back. Bailout...sure, ur giving me my money back right? I mean everytime I look at my pay stub, I see this large number that used to be mine and is now property of the Federal Government. I understand that my refund will be smaller, but at some point I am getting it back. So why are people freaking? The economy sux, get over it. As matter of fact, get back to fucking work you useless sacks of flesh. Quit worrying about something that will only get better with more production and quit wasting ur breath. As a matter of fact, take the check and go buy yourselves something nice. Like a cup of coffee, or some other extravagant thing. Just please stop complaining..if it wasnt necessary we wouldnt do it right. IT is not like a useless and pointless war that costs us 10bil a month.
Hi fiving the man,
-iz3y!
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