We are one week away from this hallowed day, where guys rush to the florist or Godiva and start pouring money on the counter in an attempt to prove how much they really want to fuck the person they are getting the chocolate/flowers for. Oh, you thought I was going to say something about the symbols of love or an open expression of heartfelt sentiment. NAW, sorry, can't start spitting soft lies up in here, I am grimey and keep it hard hitting. See, if your waiting for ST.V to prove ur worth, you prolly got an STD from all the scandalous ASS you were messing with whilst ignoring your significant other. Waiting for the 14th is like filing on April 15th and acting like you did the government a favor or pulling Cs in school. Sure, you did something, pat yourself on the back and do your funny walk if u want, but don't expect me to recognize your ass as a PLAYER. Naw...you did the miniumum...you get minimum recognition.
To be a true baller, at least pay attention once in a while and get them what they really like. If they are allergic to chocolate, DO NOT GET THEM A HEART SHAPED BOX OF IT. It will not make them going into shock any less painful. Man, if you get flowers showing any kind of wilt, just put them back. I mean you are trying to get some, at least try. Oh, and finally, do not bite what ur friend did last year. Trust me, peoples talk, and they will be crazy upset once they know they got sloppy seconds. You might be getting sloppy seconds later that night. Hell, you might have been getting sloppy seconds this whole time with your uncreative ass.
Remember, keep it simple, because if u been doing it right, this should just be another day where both of you end up with a smile you can't wipe off. If need be, go ahead and pop the champagne, just don't lean over and say, "can i lick this off of you?" and the restaurant isn't even that crowded. Play some music, other than hip hop and no, TuPac's "me and my girlfriend" is not appropriate. Remember, above all your are trying to get some ass, and the person knows u are and is fully willing to cough it up. Dont mess it up now!
For those of you who want the quick fix anyway: http://www.proflowers.com/
For those you who want a quickie: http://www.payforass.com/ (not sure if it is real site but i am sure u know of one!)
wrapped up in love,
-iz3y!
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