PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: On Stranger Tides
Cast: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz; Ian McShane
T.G.ED: the comic book encyclopedia and lover of all things Pirate, that star JOHNNY DEPP
SMASHli: the lover of all things T.G.ED and items to bash T.G.ED
BELLA: see lover of Johnny Depp and the only person who doesnt give a shit one way or the other about comic book movies
iz3y: i write this nonsense....so u know u know i am grandiose!
iz3y: let's kick this off by....
T.G.ED: no wait! I am writing this one bigBRO. You know nothing about the awesomeness of Johnny Depp. This is PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN...arrrghhh...and I shall be the one to take us on this journey!
SMASHli: oh T.G.ED relax....
T.G.ED: quiet WENCH...I BE TALKING!!!
SMASHli: you are so going to die
T.G.ED: to begin, no one can keep me away from Pirate Johnny Depp.
iz3y: u do know how gay that sounds right?
T.G.ED: im fully aware of what i just said and i regret nothing. JD, if i can call him that, is the best. They finally realized they didnt need the skeletal remains of Keira Knightly or the feminine presence of Orlando Bloom. Hell like cowbells are to Chrisopher Walken, I need more DEPP!
iz3y: you mean the franchise needed more depp?
T.G.ED: i did not stutter did I...now quiet! Pirates NEEDED MORE DEPP. why waste minutes and lines on building characters that didnt add much to the swashbuckling goodness that is Pirates. Barbosa...great supporting character. The KRACKEN...awesome supporting monster. Blackbeard, Davy Jones, and even the psycho monkey who cant die because he stole the Aztec coin (you had to sit through 15 minutes of credits after part 1for that tidbit) were all perfect compliments to the DEPP!
SMASHli:...right... I want to see Johnny!
BELLA: FINE MAN! a little too much makeup but i can look past it. He is a classic. Great actor...
T.G.ED: SHUSH WENCHES AND THAT BE YOUR LAST WARNING!!! as i was saying, centering the Franchise around the man that stole it and molded it and brought it to the plains of Asgardian greatness, was long over due!
iz3y: dude i think ur brain is malfunctioning. You just said Asgardian greatness...ur mixing ur comics
T.G.ED: Depp overload!
SMASHli: (after binding and gagging T.G.ED in a chair): on to the characters. Was that Penelope's real voice or does she really talk like that. That is nonsense! i mean...wow.
BELLA: nope, real voice. The damn ostrich talks like that
iz3y: when she speaks spanish and isnt starving herself to look like a coked out whore, she is rather pretty.
BELLA: now ur just being dumb. You have a thing for ostriches!
SMASHli: OMG...seriously dude. She was squawking that whole movie. I didnt undestand some of the lines.
T.G.ED:(muffled noises before gag gives way): she was perfectly hot for her time period. 400 years ago wenches that looked like that were hot.
iz3y: good point. I thought Blackbeard was cool and of course the costumes were impeccably done.
BELLA: yep..i liked the mermaids!
SMASHli: hell yeah the mermaids were cool!
iz3y: there were mermaids...didnt notice
BELLA: yeah cause u only happen to wake up in time to see them.
iz3y: key part to the movie. I understand my broheem over there is drooling over JD, but the mermaids were eye popping. Well done! They werent just a throw in, they were key. Also, they were vicious!
SMASHli: i want to be a mermaid!
T.G.ED: YES!!! baby doll and mermaid...i love you honey
SMASHli: u could at least look at me and not the JD poster when you say that.
T.G.ED: i could....i just wonder where was BlackBeard for the other movies? Couldnt he and his ship controlling powers have been useful against Davy jones. Also, why didnt the nations of Europe team up to stop the threat of piracy....
iz3y: it is a movie remember. you're thinking too hard
T.G.ED: hmmm...ok. turning off brain again.
SUMMARY:
T.G.ED: i wont give too much away, but this movie was awesome. The franchise is awesome and it just continues. This is a Pirate movie. It isnt going to win an Oscar, though JD should for being AWESOME!
It is fun, the visuals are as always AWESOME and you get your normal Pirate action. Penelope's voice isnt Christian Bale in Dark Knight bad, so you can swallow it. I do have to say that it isnt as epic as the other movies because it is a standalone adventure. There isn't much tying it to the past stories. As, i mentioned with BlackBeard, I wonder why he wasnt around or mentioned in the past movies. Also, can we make the BlackPearl bad ass again. Why is Jack Sparrow always without his ship? Still this movie was good and i look forward to them making many more and giving me more Johnny!
SMASHli: I agree. PIRATE MOVIE...not a drama piece. not a period piece...PIRATE MOVIE!!! i like action...I like adventure. This is what this movie is. Now, if only i could get my hands on a sword that could control a ship. That would be key....
BELLA: Johnny Depp and fighting. It was good. The ostrich was bit much to take in, but no worse than Keira knightley. the mermaids are a definite watch. I have to say i may be done with Pirate movies though.
iz3y: they have said it all. The only thing I could add, was they had much better mermaids to look at, and they chose the one that looks like an 11 year old. I am nitpicking obviously, but come on! Swashbuckling good time and something that really stays true to the years past when kids would hear about pirates and act it out. It was great that they brought the focus to Johnny because,along with Robert Downey Jr, he can carry a film. Very few actors can claim that. As for gripping story line or historical tie ins...throw that out the window. Go watch it if ur a fan of Johnny, and Pirate fighting.
RATING:
T.G.ED = 4 of 5 (generous due to the JD factor. PArt 1 was a 19 out of 5...so take it as u will)
SMASHli = 3.5 of 5 (solid Effort...need sword!)
BELLA = 2.5 (good one time watch, but enough of the pirates)
iz3y = 3 of 5 (good kids movie, entertaining, not a must for opening weekend, but you wont be pissed if u do go)
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