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Monday, March 2, 2009

The Office Rant II

I. When did it become socially acceptable to act like a 2 year old to get your way in Corporate America?  I watched a lot of Michael J Fox movies from the 80s, threw in some Micheal Douglas, and yes...even some Charlie Sheen, and what did I learn?  That being ruthless is the way to go, but whining?  Come on, suck it up buttercup.  You get promoted it means more work.  They give u any pay raise, love whatever they gave you.  You have to sleep with your boss?  Hey at least you're going to benefit from being a whore.  People, grow up and quit whining...this is your DARE TO BE GREAT alert.

II. How many meetings can you have in a day?  Nine 1 hour jam sessions, including the great LUNCH MEETING!  I mean who thought that was a bonus?  Why would I want to meet during the only time I have to myself.  People used to be honored when invited to lunch and/or dinner, now you have a jackass who thinks he finally has pinned u down and he should pounce on it.  Imagine his surprise when i tell him to meet me at McDonalds, but I fail to mention which one.

III.  I hate working with ninjas.  There is like secret society in my office of people who sneak up behind you, say nothing, then go mid sentence into their problem.  One, announce yourself before you get shot.  Two, have the damn decency to make sure I care about your problems.  Besides, I was looking at porn and I may not want everyone to know. [iz3y receives note]  Ok, it seems everyone knows, but still...warning would be nice...now go away, jenna is on.

IV.  So if I buy your kid's candy today, that is worth an even exchange when my lil guy rolls through hawking his wares in a smooth white 3 piece suit right?  An extra 10% if he POPS and/or LOCKS?

V.  You ever sit back and just wonder how someone got promoted.  I like to go through a list of wild scenarios that include fellatio, black mail, a master's degree, and a video camera containing some of the worst images humanity has ever laid eyes on.  Imagine my surprise when 90% is fellatio and the other 10% is evenly dispersed among the rest.  I really thought it would be 94-96%....oh well.

keeping it short since this is a work place rant, and i should be working.
-iz3y!

Nylon Smile (scienticians remix) - Portishead
Hauntingly cool!

3 comments:

Sho-Nuff said...

Wondering if you should be allowed to rant about this since you're among the managers...

but I completely agree with all of it!

strawberrykiss said...

how did you get your promotion? odds are not in your favor.

ROKNROLY said...

Your rants make Robo-Jesus cry!!