ASK BUCKY! - Irish eyes are smiling...

Again, we revisit our neighborhood grouchy busy body, Bucky Done Gun, for advice to life's everyday quandries. Bucky studied under the Chooch Punisher but felt like he needed to branch out and do his own thing. On to the show...

Q: Is it ok to start drinking at 9:00am on Sat for St. Patty's day?
BDG: Of course...I mean ur starting later than normal u alcoholic, but it is for a good cause. St. Patrick was.... I mean...thanks to his contributions we have..... Oh Fuck it, just drink!

Q: When a girl says 'I dont normally do this on the first date', can i Believe her?
BDG: Sure. Normally i believe she just sleeps with the guy and drops the pretense, so she must really like you to go through with that bullshit story. Seriously, does it matter if she normally does it or doesnt? Ur too drunk to know her last name or too horny to care.

Q: My boss is riding my ass, and i really find it unfair. What should I do?
BDG: Your fucking job u lazy sack of shit. I find that if you actually do your work, your boss looks good and people leave u alone. Or just say fuck it and quit...being homeless is such a liberating experience.

Q: If I go on Craigs list to find a date, does that make me a loser?
BDG: yes! sorry, i have no other answer for you. The random hook up using Craigs list..ok, that makes u a good hunter. Attempting to find ur true love..well that is fucked up son!

Q: I like this guy, but he doesnt really notice me? Should I make the first move?
BDG: Well, do you want to go out with him? Do you like having sex? I mean, people this is the 2000s....step ur game up. Women, buy HIM a drink or keep on gold digging. Just know that there are expectations if u do. Yes, i am referring to you having to give up some ass. It is time to admit that the both sexes want the same thing and act accordingly.

Q: I got mean mugged by a butch woman at a bar. Can I treat her like a man and talk shit or does the rule 'you can't hit a woman' apply here?
BDG: It applies. Sure they want to dress, act, and smell like a dude, but they are not. Is she gonna get puffy chested...yep. Can you lay her out? Wait...can you? Some of these women are pretty tough. Just protect ur package and eyes, and back away..no need to catch a case because someone shot u a dirty look.

Q: This girl keeps saying she will call me back but doesnt...should i worry?
BDG: worry about what?

• Are you married? If yes, u should rejoice that ur not getting nagged.
• Are you going out steady? Well then at least u dont have to worry about getting her something nice for her bday because she is about to break up with you.
• Are you just talking/getting to know her? Well you just found out all u need to know. She is not into you and u need to move on to her best friend...

as always a total pleasure
-Bucky Done Gun!