True Hate

I'm back to drop knowledge on you fools. I've been out with "writers block" but I've been inspired.

Since "hating" is the new "love" for '09, what then is the new hate? How can you hate on someone and not respect them nowadays? That's easy--show them love! Huh? Let me explain.

Rather than calling someone names, tearing someone down, or even talking about their mother, pump them up. Smile in their face. Encourage the hell out of them. Gas them up to go beyond what their skills, talent or financial means will allow them to go. Then sit back, relax and watch them fail. Once they fail don't laugh at them--encourage them to get up and try again. And again. And again.

For those of you that still don't get it, the person ultimately will humiliate themselves. Instead of calling someone a fat ass, encourage them to eat more and work out less. Eventually they will start believing your hype. When they have to use one of those motorized scooters to get around, you will have truly hated on them. The chick at work that dresses like a slut? Don't dog her out--encourage her to dress sluttier. Tell her that all women should be able to dress with such grace. Once she's fired for repeated dress code violations you will have truly hated on her.

A prime example is our own John London. In the short time I've known him, I've only known him to hate on one person, mostly because the hate actually gets to this person. But to truly get you, he keeps pumping you up to do things you never would do or could do in a million years (especially if there is alcohol involved). He's even willing to humiliate himself just to get you involved. The man will encourage you to have sex with fat women just to see the shame you have after you've sealed the deal. He'll have you shooting basketballs from places that you never should. He'll have you buying shots in crowded bars. All the while encouraging you, telling you that what you are doing is a good thing. THAT my friends is a true hater.

Why is showing so much love, actually hate? Because no matter how cocky, arrogant, stubborn or ass-holish a person is, everyone dies inside a little when they fail or are humiliated. A part of them wishes their mother never birthed them. They feel like huge losers. Worthless even. Hating? That just lets people know you're jealous. Showing someone love though is taking it up a notch. The person has no idea of your true and ultimate goal--their demise.

Yep love is the new hate in '09.

And I'm out!
The meanest, prettiest, the baddest mo-fo low down around this town,

Sho-nuff