Why wouldnt I do that!!!

Have you ever done something because at the time it just seemed like a winner of an idea? You buy a car because you sort of needed a new one and decided this was the perfect time to knock this out. You go and talk to a girl 'out of ur league' just because u had the gumption or the requisite amount of alcohol in ur system to make it seem like a great idea. I have had some jackass moments which i detailed here, but these are not one of those times. No, the 'FUCK IT' moments usually lead to something kool, unexpected and pretty story worthy. Hell, at minimum you are able to write something down on our life resume and finally say u did something with your short time on this beautiful planet. So without further build up, here are some of my FUCK IT moments.

• iz3y goes to New Orleans to get gumbo
  I am dead serious about this. Yeah, I mixed in a trip to see some family, but really, i was just tired of hearing about the Gumbo in New Orleans and decided to go get some. It was a 15 hour drive just to satisfy my curiosity in which i hung out at the French Quarter, ran right into Jazz Fest, which drove up my hotel rate to 250 a night for a flea bag room. I ate alligator, gambled, walked on the street with alcohol, and avoided a dark ass street that had 'mugging and ass raping here' written all over it. I did witness a girl flash the crowd, and the cops arrest her ass for doing it. I saw the end of i-55 (which i think is cool since the other end is in Chicago) and yes i finally had some gumbo. I would like to report it is REALLY GOOD! I ate at MOTHER's, a dump of a place behind the Harrah's casino that serves fantastic cajun food. The Gumbo was awesome, the etouffee was way better.


• iz3y drives to LA because it is right there...
  So i left a wedding in San Diego and i see the I-5 sign to LA, and I was trying to convince my navigator that LA's walk of fame is just a crappy sidewalk and that the whole area really is a dump! So we said fuck it and drove to LA (112 miles) at midnight just to prove a point. Now, i had been drinking watered down liquids earlier in the night and i washed that down with 2-3 tall glasses of water later in the night and i used the washroom exactly once. This is vitally important because once in LA i saw the Disney Music Hall which looks just like the Millenium Park Band Shell back home in Chicago and I really wanted to stop and check it out. Problem was, the seal was broken and nature was calling! So i drove a block up and pissed on the street. No lightpost, no tree...just on the street. Fucking Vagrant move i know. We then drove to Hollywood and checked out the fancy dirty sidewalk with stars and names all up and down it. Shit while i was here being disappointed we decided to see the Hollywood sign. For those of you who dont know, YOU CANT GET CLOSE TO THE SIGN! I had been here before and knew that, but I promised to uncover the wackness of LA so we went and got lost in the Hollywood Hills (thank you HERTZ NEVERLOST!) and finally got to a point where we could see the sign...well at least the WOOD part. So, we drove 2 hours to see WOOD! yep...i love LA! Am i glad i pissed on the street? i think we all know i am!


• iz3y drives to WoodHaven!
  I know, many of the people who know, know this don't mean shit. Woodhaven is where we camp and is only two hours outside of Chicago, but see I wasnt going. Nope, i was dead set on going to a party hosted by my good friend Renee, and was on my way there with my date and my friend Mij and his running mate at the time. First, we decided to warm up at a Wine Bar on Taylor street. A few glasses down, we are telling them how great WoodHaven is, and finally we are like fuck it...lets go! so we go home throw shit in a bag, and head out to camp all last minute. I know, not that crazy great times around a fire, playing cards, and fishing, and we almost chucked it to go to a party. Sorry, Feels...you know i love you! Being young and bored had its advantages!
  
• iz3y jumps off a shack in Belize
  For those of you who like Costa Rica...good. I have been, it is awesome, but give me my Belize. Well I have family there and that makes special to me, plus it is legit gorgeous. So I am there and my fam takes me to the sea. When we get there, I see these kids climbing the shack constructed of corrugated metal and jump off head first into the sea. Shit looked like crazy mad fun so i asked my uncle what he thought? This uncle is 2 years younger than me and i asking him his advice. So he climbs up and flies off and i was like fuck all that... I take my ass up there and look down. Now normally, the see is stupid clear but today the rains had made it muddy, so I fly off and cut through the water, and miss a boulder by a smooth 3 inches.


• iz3y works up courage to set up his first date
  Don't care what you all say, but this is always a big deal. The moment where u try not to say dumb shit. You worry about the breath, the booger in your nose, and yes, even if u put on enough Cool water! I am happy to report i succeeded, and toured Ford City Mall like a super champ. I even scored a kiss...it would be but one moment in the up and down track record of my dating life. Still, it will always be a 'fuck it' memory and moment.
  
• iz3y tells his Managing Partner...PEACE!
  For those of you who have been laid off, you know how much it sux. That stomach punch feeling as they hit you with the letter, phone call, or just a "can I see u in my office?" Well for me, it was the list! The list of people who got promoted and I wasnt on it. I knew I was fucked well before that, for reasons to long to descibe, but I knew. So there i was staring at this list officially knowing i got fucked over. So i had two decisions to make, accept the fact that I didnt get promoted and that people stupider than a block of salt did, or go into my Partner's office, he didnt like me, and ask him what's what.
  I chose Option B...scheduled the appointment, and walked in there and asked, "Why didnt I get promoted? I assume your going to lay me off". He sat there suprised. I guess he expected me to grovel..THERE WILL BE NO GROVELING!!! So he starts with "I am not sure you are a fit here. I think that is obvious, and we do have a way of doing things at [NOW DEFUNCT BIG 5 FIRM]. I am just not sure you got that in ur time here"
  Here is where i laughed. See, I had been with this firm for 6 years now, he never knew that because jack ass never looked at my file. Oh yes, I had a file...a thick one. Full of commendations and recommendations...oh and probation notice from this jack ass! Yeah...u can be put on probation for fun at [NOW DEFUNCT BIG 5 FIRM]. So I thanked him for his time, asked for my 3 weeks severence pay, told him, it is obvious u never opened my file because u would have known i worked here for 6 years and know a few partners and managers all of whom have given me great reviews. I capped it with "I may not be here a fit with you, but i am young enough and now trained enough, thanks to you, to find another great opportunity and that is all I am looking for. " His face was priceless. He was stunned. Again, I think he was expecting a break down, all we did was shake hands and I strolled out with a 3 weeks of cash plus vacation pay. Best break up ever!!!

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being super generous in my selfishness
-iz3y!

Cypress Hill - I wanna get high