RANT Vol VII

I. Ozzie Guillen is a genius...a flat out Nobel Peace Prize winning genius. The guy is hilarious, gregarious, and nefarious! I mean he doesn't give a shit about how you're gonna take the news, he just says what he has to say and moves on. Latino Players not being treated right...IN YOUR FACE BITCH. Remember when Gary Sheffield/Torrii Hunter were whining about African-AMERICAN players and how they are not being treated right because Latin players are stealing their jobs...well in your face bitch! Still whining about Latin Players Gary...oh that's right you are, because they took your job. MY bad.

II: Being unhappy with your job doesn't mean you get to whine about it to the unemployed! I think this is straightforward. Now, you can whine about it at the bar. You can whine about it at the park. You can whine about it at the zoo, with a brew, sipping a stew, but not in front of the fucking unemployed. It is like eating a donut in front of a fat kid at fat camp.

III: Parents (and Jack's colon wrote on this) please stop feeding ur fucking kid sweets. I can't stress this enough. If your child looks like it was inflated, you need to change their diet. You, you can eat whatever the fuck you want. Please gorge on fried bacon, I dont care, you have lived your life. Your child deserves a chance at life without diabetes slowing them down. PUT THE DONUT DOWN AND BUY some fruit and vegetables. They will one day love your for it.

IV: Organic food...anyone? I understand why people buy it. It tastes better, looks better, and they feel elitist about it. Now please be quiet about it. When I buy organic milk I dont announce it. Shit, before this you had no idea. Why do i do it...see above. I love my son and he deserves the best i can offer. Not everyone has this chance/choice. I dont care that a normal family buys Deans...I lived on that shit my whole life. I just cant stand those assholes who clamor that it all should be organic. NO!!! If it was, I would be paying $20 for a gallon of milk, and we would playing out an episode of ROME with my family playing the part of beggar! Organic is good for you..better even. NOT EVERYONE CAN AFFORD IT...oh and before you say something stupid. NO, it all can't be organic. We dont have the resources or money to do that. I like getting strawberries in winter. I enjoy eating Crab whenever i please and not pay ridiculous amounts of money. All organic means an end to this so enjoy your organic, regular, or nuclear, and quit trying to big time people because you can.

V: Just because you drive a Landrover and are barely 21, doesnt mean you can mouth off to a Cop who is itching to write tickets. No amount of money can by class, but it CAN pay your fines!

VI: I once got a parking ticket for 100...I didnt pay, so i got a notice for 150....I say fuck you PIG! I didnt pay....when it got to 250..I paid that shit before they asked for my son! How is this a good thing...wait I paid the ticket. Nevermind, clearly i was outsmarted by the government machine. Though if you have no money, what do you do? Do you call a lawyer or live in fear of the boot?

VII: Lawyers are paid to argue for you. They interpret law, and try to represent it the best way they can for you. They are paid lots of money because they look shit up and present it. They know what to present. Good ones make magic out of it. Before you advise someone what they should do in court when they are paying someone 400 an hour, remember to shut the fuck up. Serious...it is not like TV shows where there are grandiose arguments and your helpful tidbit turns the tide. No, you're helpful tidbit is common sense and trust me when I say it was already thought of. Watching Law and Order does not make you qualified to bug people paying someone 400 an hour with your common sense, albeit attempted 'helpful', tips. Listen, hug, shut up before you make it awkward and people have to give you a dirty look.

VIII: Why do people make shit awkward? You know that person that asks you for stupid shit and forces you to be the asshole. I mean really? You want to talk and be friends after calling me an asshole to my friends and family? You want borrow my car after telling me you crashed yours? You want to hang out with my girlfriend, but I am not invited? What circle of hell did you come from? Do these people really not get it or are they morally corrupt harpies sent here to drive us nuts? The awkward game...i want to make this 'back-handable' offense.

IX: I love how people are entitled to shit, when they dont' work for shit. Slap me in the face why don't you and tell me i deserved that. Dont work, dont hustle, sit on your ass and complain, but please make sure to collect that State Check and cry that the good lord shafted you because you deserve and are entitled to more. Is that what we are raising in this country. Shiftless, stupid, sad sacks of excuses? Land of free, and home of the shiftless?

X: you can complain about your life...but it is still YOUR life. So quit complaining and do something to change it. For the love of God, please do something to change it. Unhappy with your job, look for another. Hate your man, find a new one! At the the end of the life span, your life is on you, and if u dont like some shit...change some shit!