the JIMMY-isms...because greatness can't be deleted!

KNUTE WAREZ

• Jimmy was the fifth beatle, now he is the third
• Jimmy is the only person in the world to have successfully answered the Credence Clearwater Revival's age-old question of "Who'll stop the rain?"
• Jimmy knows that for a good time he can always call Jenny at 312-867-5309
• When Jimbo was asked if he like blondes, brunettes, or redheads, his simple reply "FUCK YEAH!"
• Jimmy once beat off a mob of angry men single HANDEDLY!
• Jimmy once enetered the kentucky derby on foot, and came in third. The jockey has not finished any higher since that fateful day
• Jimmy knows that the bird is the word
• Jimmy knows the last digit of Pi
• Jimmy only parties in international waters, because you CAN DO ANYTHING WITH DOLPHINS OUT THERE!
• Jimmy is the master of Johnner's domain
• Jimmy won second place in a beauty contest for post-op transexuals. He had not even formally entered or paid his entrance fee.
• Few people know Jimmy has a pet pig with a wooden leg. It once pulled him out of a burning building, fought off a wolf in the forest, and alerted him of an impending earthquake. So I said "How did it lose it's leg?" Jimmy answers "A pig THAT special you don't eat all at once!"
• Jimmy sucks cock and can slam a revolving door
• Jimmy was born with an extra long umbillical cord - he then invented bungee jumping
• Jimmy had a small role in Boogie Nights 2: Boogie Mornings. Critics describe his acting as a breath of fresh air.
• Competitive Mode Jimmy arises like a phoenix out of arizona when needed.
• Jimmy's jeep has no horn, he just hires a man to sit on the roof and go "Woo woo woo woo" like a police siren
• Jimmy starred in ZOOLANDER 2, and won a Golden Globe for his role.
• Jimmy has 6 toes, that’s why he never wears sandals
• Jimmy can eat a footlong kielbasa sausage WITHOUT CHEWING
• Jimmy can eat an onion, 3 eggs, a pepper, and a tomato, and SHIT out a perfect omlette!
• Jimmy brings knives to gunfights
• If Jimmy could rearrange his alphabet, he would put "I" and "Cock" together
• I was bartending one day, and Jimmy comes in and orders 5 shots of Whiskey. I go "whats the occasion?" he goes "First blowjob." I go "SHIT, let me buy you one too!" He goes "No thanks, if 5 shots won't kill the taste, the 6th will be a waste!"
• Jimmy once got a watch for his birthday. He got mad and sold it to buy a gun. "Why?" i asked. He said "If I come home and my woman is getting boned by some dude, what am I gonna do? Look at my watch and ask how long they're gonna be?"
• Jimmy once went to the doctor compalining of having an orange penis. The doctor told him to stop masterbating and eating cheetos all day long
• Jimmy once did yoga for a few months, in an effort to be limber enough to suck HIS OWN cock.
• Jimmy once argued that if he cloned himself, and made love to that clone, he would not be gay. He was quickly asked to leave the church.
• Jimmy kills drifters to get erections.
• Jimmy gets that special porn that they cannot send through the regular mail. he has to have a P.O box and pick up mail during special hours under supervison of at least 3 armed guards.
• Jimmy takes horny goat weed pills. I believe he thinks it will help him attract more goats
• Jimmy likes to "Box the ONE-EYED CHAMP."
• Jimmy has never paid taxes, he just sends the IRS a picture of himself in a fight crouching position

iz3y

• Jimmy didn’t pay more his muffler, he just rebuilt it using beer cans and fishing line
• Jimmy Banda is to VEGAS like beer is to a FRAT PARTY
• Jimmy parties with the Most Interesting Man in the World
• Bruce Banner no longer turns into the HULK after losing to Jimmy in arm wrestling
• Jimmy is an Anti-Dentite, he pull his own teeth!
• Jimmy performed LASIK on himself with a flashlight and a magnifying glass
• Jimmy is male stripper at a gay club...yet he doesnt work there
• Jimmy doubled for Oscar De La Hoya three times and won three titles in three weight classes
• Jimmy locked the target, baited the line, slowly spread the net and caught the man, then sold him for the ten times his price at least
• Jimmy cured the common cold, but decided that the strong should survive!
• Superman was a DJ until he came to Jimmy's block and heard him spinning Disco Cryptonite!
• Jimmy does 2000 pushups a day...no hands
• Jimmy slapped Bruce leRoy, Bruce LeRoy thanked him and called him the 'TRUE MASTER'
• Jimmy arm wrestled a bear...the bear is now missing an arm
• Jimmy can't be a lawyer because passing the BAR is something he can't and won't do!
• Jimmy Banda is to VEGAS like what beer is to a FRAT PARTY
• Jimmy is Derek Jeter's Wingman!
• Cutting crew wrote "i just died in ur arms tonight" after a night of passion with Jimmy
• Jimmy's "Jimmy Jams" playlist went platinum despite just being a collection of gay songs by various artists.
• If you ghost Jimmy's location, he will bleed u you quiet, and leave you there!
• Jimmy have never bitten off more than he can chew, and he can eat stuff that will make a billy goat puke
• Jimmy once played a black man in a movie, without makeup
• Jimmy wasnt satisfied with the current dances out there so he invented the 'Jimmy' Dance which became an instant classic but tragically caused the death of 10 people in a New York CLUB
• Jimmy speaks french...in spanish...with a british accent!
• Jimmy started the Chicago fire so he could piss on the ashes
• Jimmy has the strength of an ant...and the penis too
• Jimmy once performed CPR on a woman...she had a baby 8 months later despite having her tubes tied
• Jimmy has 5 illegitmate children with 5 women and they all can use his fake ID to get into the club without being questioned...Jimmy cant.
• Jimmy captured the one-armed man, and promised him freedom if he could beat him in arm wrestling...there is a dude in jail with no arms.
• Jimmy made love to a lion, just prove he was the king of the jungle. The lion still calls him to this day, but Jimmy has moved on.
• Due to false allegations, Jimmy was forced to take an alcohol evaluation exam. He passed it easily when he bet the evaulator he couldn't out drink him.
• Jimmy has three best friends, each of which can bring about the apocolypse...Jimmy keeps them at bay!

ShoNUFF

• Competitive Jimmy talks mad shit yet maintains minty fresh breath
• Jimmy slept with Macaulay Culkin at Neverland Ranch and then pinned it on Michael Jackson
• Jimmy once got a speeding ticket while jogging
• Chuck shit his pants at the sight of Jimmy
• If Jimmy has an erection lasting more than 4 hours he doesn't call the doctor, he calls over company
• Jimmy doesn't stop until he's had enough
• Jimmy speaks Spanish...in Polish
• "spits" is not in Jimmy's vocabulary
• Jimmy takes "poking" on Facebook to a whole new level
• Jimmy's refusal to lay sufficient pipe is the reason half of New Orleans was washed away in Katrina

RoboJesus

• Jimmy Banda can't live up to Jimmy Banda’s reputation!
• Jimmy leans wit it and rocks wit it….at the same moment!
• Jimmy is as Jimmy does!
• Jimmy can do push ups with his Eyelashes!
• Jimmy once bitch slapped Chuck Norris for being a pussy!
• When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks for Jimmy under his bed!
• Jimmy once shot a bull elephant in his pajamas, what the elephant was doing wearing Jimmys pajamas no one will ever know!
• Osama Bin Laden considers Jimmy a terrorist!
• Jimmy was once water boarded...using sulfuric acid!
• Jimmy was detained at GITMO...for a DUI!

COLLABORATIONS

John London vs iz3y
John London: Jimmy is the real "Soup Nazi"
iz3y: Jimmy perfected Clam Chowder without using any clams



Knute Warez vs iz3y

Knute Warez: Jimmy is a re-gifter
iz3y: Jimmy was once given herpes, he gave it to someone else!

Knute Warez: Jimmy starred in a porno called "All deliveries IN THE REAR," as the wacky neighbor Tobias, and then as Recipient #2
Knute Warez: Jimmy is a triple threat. He sings, dances, and sucks cock.
Knute Warez: Jimmy is the Co-Owner of the Manhole Gentlemens Club.
iz3y: Jimmy's Big finale can no longer be shown in theatre's due to excessive gayness. The Gays thought it was too gay

Presented by:
KnuteWarez/iz3y/ShoNUFF/RoboJesus/JohnLondon