Bucky has been laying in the cut getting fat on breaded steaks and resting on his laurels. So we had to wake his bitch ass up and now are proud to present....
ASK BUCKY!
Q: I want to impress my new girl, but i really dont know what to do?
BDG: Do your scouting prep work. Does she like attention? do you have to be the man? Know what, just whip it out and give her a good look. If she is smitten then no more words are necessary. If she starts laughing, then u know the expensive dinner is not necessary.
Q: How did u get ur name BDG?
BDG: Simple, the song was playing when i was racking your mom. I thought, a semi-good memory shouldn't ruin a cool sounding name so i kept it. Now run along, the adults have to 'talk!'
Q: If ur EX still is all up in ur business what can you do?
BDG: my good friend, it is real simple...just be all up in hers. Stalk her but do it right. Get all the expensive spy equipment and cell phone jammers. You know what, really spend the money and have her followed and all the guy would do is walk up to her and say..."[insert your name here] knows...oh..he knows". If you're a real dedicated cat, get back with her just to prove you're not fucking around and trying to have a life. NO WAIT...you could just simply get on with ur life and let her wallow in her own misery. Seriously your call!
Q: Who would u rather go toe to toe with? Chooch Punisher, Rafael de La Ghetto, or Jokey himself?
BDG: Trying to put me in a pickle huh...well let's break this down by the numbers.
CHOOCH PUNISHER: he is a lover not a fighter. Look at the name. Still what challenge would that be. he would just run, and that is no fun.
Rafael de La Ghetto: now this cat's name says it all. RAFAEL...that was a bad ass ninja turtle. I would def think twice about approaching this guy in an alley.
Jokey: Jokey is a depressed clown. Jokey is a nightmare walking. Jokey once made a kid cry on his birthday...then he set his eyes on the parents and yelled at them for throwing a birthday party for a whiney crying kid. He did this while eating the kid's cake and staring the kid's mom's chest. He proceeded to open the gifts and smash the ones he deemed unacceptable and took the ones the kid really wanted.
I would take on Jokey, toe to toe in a battle of haiku's! that is like rap in weird rhyming styles, for you uneducated muthafuckas.
Q: If a girl I work with looks good, can I tell her, or should i worry about HR ramifications?
BDG: Hey, look....how do i put this? Quit being a bitch son! walk right up to her, look her dead in her eyes and tell her:
"You like very nice today, love your [hair/necklace/outfit]" Try doing this without leering at her tits/ass too much and u have a winner. For those with more carte blanche, you can go with:
"Hey sexy, wow...do you know what kind of trouble you're going to get me into?" Again, here u want to look at her ass/tits as a stamp of approval. It is really not ur fault that she decided to wear her stripper outfit from 5 hours ago when her shift ended. Still, you kept it classy, or u can go with:
"So when are we going to RACK?" This one is a bit more straightforward and you want to make sure the answer wont get you and ur shit sent packing from work.
Well that is all for today people. Sorry for the delay, but the weather is nice,
-BDG
lil Wayne - Imma Stunt
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3 comments:
Best beware Bucky,
I was having some lunchtime martinis and I overheard the following comments from the following people with the following inflections
Chooch Punisher - (Angry/very descriptive) "I wound smash bucky's teeth out, paint his ass red, and rent him out to jails for conjugal visits. I would make crazy money off of Buckys ass....and MOUTH!"
Rafael De La Ghetto - (visibly shaken/expertly) "I would fuck him up and make his face look like Picasso painted it during his Analytic Cubism phase (1909–1912) and not so much his synthetic Cubism phase which lasted from (1912–1919)."
JokeyJokemaker316 (Sinisterly) In order to hurt the man that is bucky, you have to find out what makes him tick. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. What makes him tick? A HA! JOHNNER! Johnner is the key. In order to hurt Bucky, you have to hurt Johnner. Johnner looks like he's tough, but I bet it would take 13 elbow-strikes or less to render his face a pile of play-doh. He would be walking around and be all like "AHHH, my nose!"
I would plan and bide my time. I would silently wait outside his apartment, and as bucky picked him up for a night of passion, I would rush up from behind and elbow-strike him in his pretty, girly mouth. I would then run because:
1) I don't wanna hit him 13 times in a row, where the fun in THAT?
2) Bucky LOVES johnners girly mouth
3) I wanna give him time to heal before I unleash the next elbow strike because that thought of that makes me laugh my ass off.
OJ
AKA J316
AKA R.D.L.G
AKA The Ticallian Stallion
AKA C-P
I too would laugh...JOhnner would hate on each of your elbow strikes. He would tell you how Patrick Ewing would have done it better. You would then get more violent and he would call u immature!
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