Great moments in hook-up history

This one comes from a student of mine

It's the beginning of my freshman year in college. I'm leaving an on-campus party. Meet Girl, walk Girl back to dorm, and immediately start making-out. Girl has a tongue ring. Because it had been really easy and natural to this point, and because there is a reason girls get tongue rings, I figured fooling around was a given. I suggest heading to her room, but she declines, and we just exchange numbers. No real loss - I'm willing to wait (especially for the tongue ring).


Two days later, we meet up in the student section at our football game. We'd both been drinking all day and soon began sloppily sucking face in front of 60,000 or so of our closest friends. The game ends, and we decide to "watch a movie" in my room immediately thereafter, as soon as she can get back to her dorm and change clothes. I make it back, she calls about twenty minutes later, and I sneak her up (my school apparently didn't want anyone to get laid and had strict after-hours dorm policies). I get her in the room without issue. The hard part's over. So far, so good.

As soon as she gets inside, we start going at it... like the scene from Fatal Attraction before Glenn Close starts boiling rabbits. We're knocking stuff off tables, tearing at clothes, groping and kissing our way over to the bed. At this point, I'm only in my underwear and she's topless (great rack), wearing only her jeans. Once we get to the bed, I throw her down and start kissing her neck, breasts, and stomach, eventually making it to her jeans. As I begin trying to undo the button, though, she stops me and pulls me back up to kiss her. I oblige momentarily, but then get right back to the jeans. She stops me again, we kiss, repeat. Needless to say, I'm getting pretty fucking frustrated.

"I have something I need to tell you."

I'm utterly oblivious. Despite her comment, I continue trying to smoothly remove her pants. At this point I'm too drunk and horny to want to talk about anything, and nothing short of her telling me she has a big, swinging dick holstered down there is going to shake my determination. She's resilient, though, and I am stopped once more... this time with authority. I'm thoroughly confused and exasperated.



"What is it?" I finally ask.



(long and uncomfortable pause)



"I was raped."


(incredibly awkward beat of silence)

"..."

"..."

"... well, I WISH SOMEBODY WOULD RAPE ME."

The moment it came out of my mouth, I regretted it, but the damage was done. I tried to play it off by saying something about a milf-ish neighbor at home and a porn scene, but she wasn't buying it. As you can probably imagine, she got her shit and lit out of there pretty quickly. We never spoke again.