Shout OUT!

HAPPY BDAY to Bella Baggins (7/6) and the BIGS (7/13)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Finally a stat that matters

Recently on talk radio I heard a discussion about who had hotter women--Jeter or The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Now Known as Prince Again--and realized the discussion is completely arbitrary and subjective.  Also we know way more of Jeter's women than we know of Prince's women, since Jeter tends to date famous women and Prince MAKES women famous.  This discussion was preceded by a discussion of various nerdy baseball stats and I decided why not put these two discussions together to determine once and for all who has the hotter women?  With that in mind I submit to you HAR (Hotness Above Replacement).

HAR should be able to tell us a level of a woman's hotness when compared to another woman given the same physical characteristics (much like WAR takes into account a players performance in multiple categories compared to other players) but also takes into account things such as personality (is she a down ass bitch??), genetics, and earning potential.  For example, Mila Kunis has a higher HAR than Megan Fox because Kunis generally seems to be a better person, doesn't have toes for thumbs (although she does have HUGE eyes) and has higher earning potential than Fox as witnessed by Kunis' ability to land a variety of roles (from comedic to dramatic) and the fact that Fox can't sleep her way into an acting gig if she wanted to right now, mainly because her personality sucks.  Most red-blooded men would never say Kunis is hotter than Fox by any traditional measure--Fox would be a legitimate 7-9 on the traditional "10" scale--but when weighted against possible replacements (Kunis being one example) she's really only average compared to your other brown haired actress types.

Put simply, HAR helps us evaluate what a woman brings to the table other than her looks when compared to another woman similarly situated.  With than in mind I must say Jeter beats The Artist.  Primarily because we actually KNOW who most of Jeter's women are, and because once The Artist's women become famous they are mainly famous for having been with The Artist.  Few of them have any merit on their own beyond their looks.  I guess that's why they call him "The Captain."

1 comment:

JohnnyLovely said...

Clearly you are over thinking this. There are two main issues here as I see it. 1. Is she hotter because Jeter pulled her or 2. Does she become hotter because Prince made her? I submit that the outcome is the same. Prince blows their mind with whatever long stroke freakiness mojo he puts on them and turns them into born again Christians. Not hot. Jeter uses up every drop of hotness and sends them on their way with an autographed ball and bat. Not hot. Offsetting Penalties..replay 1st down if you will....