Anthony Rizzo walks on water... an undercover report of recent Cubs musing

Let me begin with, as a South Side Sox Fan, it is great that we have this "rivalry" in this city to give us something to do when our teams are not performing well.  It is also amusing to debate Chicago baseball at bars with lifelong fans ping ponging their opinions and views back and forth as biblical fact and then all of us ultimately deciding that with Ditka the Bears would be undefeated in baseball (Chicago thing...come find out).  Recently though, the north side of town has been caught up in a buzz and lathered itself into a fever pitch that has blinded them to the fact they are about to ruin another prospect's career with hopeless and impossible expectations.  If you don't know, the Cubs traded for a player named Anthony Rizzo, a prospect for the San Diego Padres who hit .141 in 129 at bats for the Padres last season.  He is seen as a can't miss prospect due to his ability to .....well hell i am not sure.  Still, the PR campaign is overwhelming so I wanted to share with you a sampling of what I am hearing.

What Cubs fans are expecting Anthony Rizzo to do!

• Lead the league in Homers, RBI's, Batting Average, ERA, Saves, WAR, WHIP, and if he has time, Walks.
• Trade Alfonso Soriano's entire contract for a young Major League Star.  It is rumored he will include his batting jersey for Bryce Harper if necessary, and the thinking is the Nationals are strongly considering it.
• Hit 4th in the lineup and 9th for the pitcher from the opposite side to escape suspicion.
• Negotiate the Teacher's union strike and make the Mayor and Union happy.  If he has time he may opine on the Firefighter's talks as well.
• Create more jobs and lower unemployment back to acceptable level (~2.5%)
• Play 1st Base and cover most of Second Base to allow Darwin Barney more time to chat with Starlin Castro and remind him how many outs there are.
• Remind Starlin Castro how many outs there are since Darwin isn't doing his job
• Step in as the new hitting coach by being the only player taking batting practice so the team can mimic his swing.
• Destroy Twitter and raise Facebook's stock value
• Draft up a new strategy to combat the shootings in Chicago and address the mob actions in River North.  He will also put more police on streets while lowering cost.
• Raise property values as a whole in Chicago as people flock to see him.
• Rebuild Wrigley overnight to include luxury suites, more seating, more space for ads, a JumboTron, and create outdoor festival space on Sheffield and Waveland by building and underground passage on those two streets by Saturday or at least before the Blues Brother's screening.  He will also do this so that Wrigley faces the city and the residents will allow for night games (something about a soundproof force field).
• Help get Obama elected and get Rahm off their back.  
• Provide diversity and sensitivity training to the Wiener Circle staff
• Eliminate PEDs from Baseball, Football, and water Polo.
• Clean up the Chicago river so we can swim in it...not that he will need to since he will be walking on it.

That is a short list of what I am hearing coming from the north side so this will be an interesting Summer in Chicago.  Wait, i just heard Rizzo will be extending summer in Chicago to at least 8 months out of the year.  If you hear anything else please share!  We on the Southside will be practicing our YOUK! chants and may even use them in person.

-iz3y!

Day one of being a sports DAD

As a kid, having my dad in the dugout with me during games was awesome.  We didnt chatter during the game because he was my coach and that would be weird.  Instead he would just coach me...in spanish...and only spanish.  it would always start with "mijo..." and i would go out there with visions of MLB glory and try to do what he told me.  I always knew he was going to be the toughest coach and the most supportive and it was cool.  What i never gave any thought to, or spent any time on was what the parents in the crowd were doing.  I knew my mom was out there somewhere and that my sister, forced to come to my game, was sitting there wondering what was so great about this stupid ass game, but I never cared.  My dad would always tell me watch the game.  Pay attention to the game.  It was always about the game on the field, the chatter in the clubhouse and everything else was there to be ignored.  (personal note: the announcer announcing my name for the first time was kinda hard to ignore because it was so cool!).  As I grew up this never left me.  My family will come to games now and my Bells and awesome lilMAN will sit there and i focus on the game as they ....well i have no idea what they do except the occasional wave of support.  It is not because I don't appreciate them, but because that is what I do.  FOCUS ON THE GAME.  Watch how the fielders are set up.  Is the RF sleeping?  Is the 3B too far back?  What chant are we going to use to throw this pitcher off his game?!?!

Now i am on the other side of the metal fence that separates the game from the spectators.  I am not the coach or even the volunteer.  I am the dad that got his son ready and told him to run to practice because he was already late, and "you can't be late".  I sat as close as I could to hear the coach talk, but that got weird.  I am not the coach, so I had to move away.  I met parents, I talked to other coaches, and i glad handed so much my political friends would be proud of me.  It was great watching my boy opening up, running, and having a great time.  I just stood there watching him and enjoying it. Then i wanted to tell him to get to that passing lane.  I wanted him to show off his incredible speed and powerful left leg.  i wanted him to thread passes and play 'D' like the little monster he turns into when he wants the ball.  Instead I spent the time shutting up, talking about other people's dates and glad handing!  Twice, the dam broke and I gave some dumb obvious instructions and twice I had to shut the hell up embarrassed because I didn't want to be that dad.

I remember when my dad hung up his spikes to be my coach.  He wasn't even 30 yet, and he waved goodbye to Harrison Park and talking shit with his teammates.  I remember no longer watching him play, but him watching me play and coaching his boy on the game we loved.  We sat in those dugouts and practiced on those dirt fields and it was awesome!  I never knew how my mom felt until now.  She watched a sport she knew nothing about and kept it pretty cool while doing it.  If you know my mom, you know it had to be hard not to yell at umps and opposing players!  Now it is my turn to get my player ready and tell him how important it is that he is on time.  Tell him to focus on the game.  Listen to your coach, talk to your teammates and be a part of a team.  My responsibilities are to get my folding chair, the water bottles, and orange slices and join my fellow parents straining to keep it cool.  This is day one...oh man this is going to be a fun ride!


-iz3y!
Soccer DAD!