Ask Bucky!

A take off of ASK THE CHOOCH PUNISHER...Bucky Done Gun answers life's everyday questions Oscar the Grouch Style!

Why is my house being foreclosed?
BDG: Because you're a dumb ass who can't read. ARM = adjustable rate mortgage. I know, people are making this the sole reason for this crisis...NO! It was the sales pitch, telling the public not to worry about the payments because they were going to sell the place for twice the original value, and make tons of money, then go buy a bigger house! Like there were people just itching to buy ur fucking studio condo for 300K. I mean i saw people who make half what i make living in a place twice my size. Now they live in a cardboad box. Don't feel bad for them, I gave them the box my plasma came in...they had nothing before.

How do I know if my (girlfriend/boyfriend) is right for me?
BDG: Simple...what you need to do is consult this series of posts ( 1 2 3 4 ), and if they match up any of the criteria...PULL THE FUCK UP!!! Just roll out. Dont leave a note because they will construe that as you want them to pursure you even more. ROLL OUT!!!

If a stripper says she likes me, but can only talk in the VIP room, is it real love?
BDG: Yes,it is real love. She is in love to the very core of her being with your wallet. There is no sex in the champagne room. You will go in there and drop a G and walk out wondering how to explain it to your underage girlfriend. Just dont do it!

What should I get my boyfriend to say i am sorry for sleeping with his brother?
BDG: Asian twins...freaky ones. Only acceptable form of retribution.

My mom sasys i have potential...how do i maximize it?
BDG: First, stop living with your fucking mom. That's a start...work on that.

What should i do if someone shared a secret i shared with them?
BDG: Keep ur fucking mouth shut. Tell ur priest and take ur chances. So, if u like to play with toys that dont have lego on the side, and dont want no one to know, just keep it to yourself.

Until next time,
Bucky Done Gun!