10 signs that u should run from that bitch/asshole! + 3 bonus tips!

Due to the current climate of dating, i felt the need to share some advice/stories/tips from my single/divorced people. Please feel free to laugh ur ass off, but also use this knowledge. Print this out, laminate it, and take it with you on EVERY DATE! It could potentially save u tons of time and money. Plus, you won't wake up feeling like a complete failure! This is izcorp! guaranteed.

SIGN #1: They call ur friends to know where you are at, even after you gave them an initnerary. Then, they call another one of ur friends to make sure that the first friend told them the truth, and all the while they are sitting outside the club in their PJs or at a club themselves with someone else.

SIGN#2: They give you absolutely no private time whatsoever for fear you might...insert dramatic pause... think about anything else except them. IE....walking in the bathroom whilst showering/or on the can. Constantly hanging around u, no matter where u go and then acting bewildered when u ask for just an hour of space.

SIGN #3: Marks you as territory. From the classy NAMEPLATE in old english, to posting pix on YOUR FACEBOOK/My SPACE site of themselves or making it mandatory that your do you to ensure those 'bitches'/'assholes' know that you're with them. This also includes the CLUB HOVER (never leaving your side) and the PUBLIC STARE DOWN (no matter where ur at, the face always says your with them, accentuated with murderous intent).

SIGN #4: Changing their physical appearance in a drastic way. Like you say, wow that actress is cute, and they take it as, I need to dye my hair blonde like that bitch for you to like me? Or threatening to shave their head if break up with them. Or guys screaming, "I can kick his 6 pack ass...i dont need to look like that...fuck u if u think i do"...and all u said was..."Wow...#87 made a great catch." This also includes suggesting matching outfits. Also, tattooing your name on themselves, and your not married or dead. Hell you havent even declared love, but they feel if you know how serious they are about you, u will grow to love them.

SIGN #5: Makes wedding plans on your third date. I know, some of u are all like, well some people just know. You might be a psycho! Serious, at date three it is nice to dream about one day being married to 'someone', not plan out how the doves will be released with the you!

SIGN #6: Calling repeatedly using 2 min intervals, ensuring that u can't possibly have or do anything meaningful. Calling despite just talking to you, because 'they forgot to tell u something'. Calling so often, they might as well not have hung up, which is what they want. They are using ur cell as a bugging device and letting that 'bitch'/'asshole' ur with that u belong to them. Your parents and church group just chuckle!

Sign #7: Texting you having a complete convo with themselves where there is no interaction on ur part. They work themselves up into a lather, and play all the parts in this sick twisted movie showing in their head. The worst part is that in their head it was all real, even ur answers that never existed.

Sign #8: Breaking into your personal records. Yep, like a spy they feel that if they just go through all your records they are sure they will find ur affair out. This includes your MY SPACE/FACEBOOK wall posts and messages, email accounts, cell records, and even your credit card and bank statements. When they find nothing, they keep looking periodically for the time they will.

Sign #9: Making plans knowing u have plans, and then acting hurt because u don't want to hang with them, and surprised that u have plans.

Sign #10: The CHEATERS MOVE!!! They have a fine looking friend try to flirt with you or pick u up at a club and then either watch or report back to them at a later date. They hope by tempting u, they will prove ur piece of shit.

BONUS!!!
Sign #11: They hold ur means of communication (cell) hostage. I mean they know best right and really, who do you need to talk to?

Sign #12: They wait for you at ur families house for you to arrive. No timetable, no warning, because they know ur going to return there and they really want to talk.

Sign #13: They wonder who ur trying to look good for when u go workout? This also extends to calling u names like Slut or whore, for applying make up, perfume, cologne!

Keep ur head on a swivel people...like for real. I know circumstances are unique and yes, maybe ur woman/man is different, but just in case, u have the list!!!

PLEASE ADD MORE, help the cause!

free flowing like water,
-iz3y!