Top Five Dumbest Things...

Without further ado, the Top Five Dumbest Things you as a Chicagoan can do:

1) Park your car on the street. Parking on the street in the city of Chicago means you pretty much don't like yourself or your car. Other cars will bump you when trying to park, side swipe you will flying down the street and best of all--you are at the mercy of the City. See the street is public property and regulated by the city government. So they will try ANY WAY POSSIBLE to make money off of you for using said property. Whether it be by parking meter, requiring you to put a little sticker in your window, requiring you to have license plates on both the front and rear of your car or even having your tires properly inflated, the city will charge you for parking. And don't forget the city chickens shitting on your nice clean ride.

2) Vote for a Republican candidate for a local government position. It's a wasted vote. I know because I've done it before. Twice. The sheer number of Blacks in the city will instantly give any democrat running 35% of the vote since Black folks mind numbingly vote democratic. That leaves only 16% left to win--and there are enough liberal ass white folks in this town to make that happen. You might as well sit at home if you're going to vote Republican.

3) Buy tickets to watch the team that plays baseball on the north side. The stadium sucks, the team sucks and the "fans" in the stadium are racist as hell. People who attend these games accept losing. No one is even paying attention to the game. Paying $60+ to sit behind a pillar and piss in a trough like an animal? DUMB.

4) Talk back to the police. Chicago cops are people that fall in to one of the following categories: bullied when they were kids; genuine assholes; genuine public servants; hustlas. In each of these cases you're asking for a ass beating if you decide to talk back. Having the badge makes the first two categories feel important and powerful. The genuine public servants take their job seriously and you talking back to them just offends them--seeing as they risk their lives daily for your safety. And the hustlas--they get to legally carry a gun openly. Talking smack to them is ASKING to get pistol whipped.

5) Act scared when in unfamiliar territory. If you're white on the south side act like you belong there. Thugs are like dogs (in many ways)--they can smell fear. You don't wanna get mugged/jacked/stabbed? Act like you belong. If you're Black/Latin on the north side and you don't want folks following you around in the store or potentially calling the cops on you for hanging out in the park? Act like you belong. Blend in while sticking out. Stroll with confidence. After all its not like you're a suburbanite.

Kiss my Converse!

Sho-nuff