Just call him Schweezy!

So this white Puerto Rican bastard just started rolling with the crew out of nowhere. Getting photoshopped in pix and what not and it dawned on me...."What does the Schweez bring to table and who gave him a fucking chair?" J. Schweezy's affect on the group can be summarized in 13 lines!

1. we now use his hair gel to wax our cars to protect against dirt, water, and meteors
2. Jokey has gotten way more gay. His unrequited love is boiling over. Read MELTED CHEESE for proof of this.
3. We play bags often just so he can be good at something when he is with us.
4. We no longer have Intellectual discussions or spelling Bees because he went to St.Rita and is essentially a vegetable
5. We listen to DJ DO-DAT cds religiously so he can try to convince us he is the voice who says "you're now in the mix with DJ DO-Dat"
6. We all now laugh after anything is said...hahahahha...LMAO.
7. We have someone to blame when we fuck up because no one really knows him and quite honestly, he prolly was the reason anyway.
8. Jimmy has a place to crash, Omar has someone to fantasize about, Roly has someone to pummel, and I have someone who is smaller than me. According to Omar..sick fucking bastard!
9. WE keep coming up with nicknames to cover the fact that he has the worst last name in the history of Puerto Rican last names: Schwertfeger. I am sure Lady Schweez is hoping he takes her name.
10. We no longer think Puerto Ricans are worthless...just shy, white guys, with incredibly stiff hair.
11. We entertain ourselves with Schweez's late night Karaoke sessions consisting of a Corono Bottle for a mic, and the saddest freestyle jams we can dig up.
12. We now have more knowledge about cartoons from 1960-1990 than any group of people on the face of the earth. Ask him to spell cat and all u will get is PING-PING-PIINNGGGGG!
13. We have someone we can throw at hungry fat chicks we are trying to run from since they love them their lil White Boys...Johnner kept falling in love.

warming up the paddle
-iz3y!