Humidity defined

This is how Webster's defines Humidity:  a moderate degree of wetness especially of the atmosphere.


 To quote the great cahracter from the Wire, Senator Clay Davis, "SHIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiTTTTTT!"


You know what Webster's leaves out of it's definition?


Humidity is Sweaty ass arm pits and the need for a second, third, and fourth coating of deodorant/anti-perspirant, because you can't stop sweating.  I dont want to hear this is an effect of humidity.  This is humidity.  I am lumping it in there with humidity. Humidity = sweaty nastiness


Humidity you're not off the hook yet.  Humidity is not being able to enjoy shade.  Yep, you damn right i just added to that line too.  You're in the shade, and it is supposed to be 10-20 degrees cooler because the sun doesn't have a laser lock on your ass to cook you. What happens instead?  HUMIDITY!  It is saps that comforting cool breeze and initiates the aforementioned sweaty ass arm pits.  Fuck you humidity!


Humidity you really don't even stop there do you!  No, Humidity is coming home and your house is a sticky nasty wet nonsensical room of nonsense.  Your wilting away like those plants you never water because u figure they should fend for themselves.  If you had a lizard it would be happy to see u miserable to the point u want to stick that bastard in a refrigerator.  You go to grab ur phone and u leave a wet hand print reminder of sweat that it is hot in your house and your cheap ass should probably turn on the air.  Instead you go to the window and what happens...Nothing because humidity is riding that nice gentle breeze and turning it into a sweat magnet.  

Humidity makes death valley seem like a nice place only because it has no humidity.  Yeah, people will actually tell you to move to Arizona or Nevada into the middle of the desert with 110 degree temperatures that will make you feel like Jesus Christ after his friends let him wander the desert for 40 days just because they have no HUMIDITY.  I am dead serious.  The term "DRY HEAT" trumps Hot and HUMID!  That is retarded!

Humidity will ruin your outfit.  It will jack up your hair.  Humidity is only good for growing shit and making u a sweaty mess.  Humidity makes your electric bill go up and allows Republicans to take over the world!  One of the last two things is complete nonsense (electric bills go up because we power our TVs and electronics all day long!).  Humidity let Nelly make a stupid song and a great video/pickup line.

so in short Humidity n. - degree of wetness and cause for sweaty swamp ass nastiness, ill-tempered feelings, stupid reasons to move to stupid areas, shitty songs featuring Nelly, and the end of logic in government!

-iz3y!

Snoop Dogg ft David Guetta - SWEAT