The Chooch Punisher has advice for Sho-Nuff

Hello evildoers,

     After reading Sho-Nuffs brilliant thesis for the Halle Berry Syndrome, its side effects, and possible cures; I have developed a thesis of my own.  A "Thank You " goes out to Sho-nuff, because great writing inspires new ideas and discussions.  Bu then I read it again, and I say "Sho-Nuff, i have to disagree." Then I read it a third time, and realized that it sounds way off.  I sought outside opinion, and realized that the woman I read this to, was decent looking, so I ditched her and found a hot woman to read this to.   The hot woman got all offended and thought that the blog meant that all hot women have problems keeping men.  "No you sexy idiot" i said to her.  "The article is about HBS, and how beauty is not enough to keep a man."  "It isn't?"  She replied. 

I said "If it were, you would have women be with one man their wholes lives."  "The fact that you have had several boyfriends is a testament to the idea that you are not special, or unique like the snowflake.  You are a woman that is pleasing to the eye.  Men would like to enjoy your body and then throw you away.    You are a shiny apple. You are used for what you can be, and then you are left a core, to be discarded.  There ain't no motherfuckers saying "Hey I won last night's lottery, take my ticket and when you are done with it, give it to someone else."  You are in no way, shape or form as hot as HalleBerry, and if she can;t keep a man, what hope do you have?"

     The woman crumbled in tears.  Mascara running, and ruining her Bebe shirt, BAPE pants, and Manolos.  I laughed.  Long and hard.  When i had laughed myself out, I took this woman;s hand, and told her that the answer lies within herself.  The self worth she so desperately was looking for was not determined by the price tags of her designer clothing, her bling, or her stable of men who she was "using."  Her self worth would be determined by her own goals and accomplishments.  In other words, I told her to go back to school. 

     You see, Halle Berry is hot, and that's enough to get her to talk to me.  But if she really wants to get my attention, she has to be smart.  The kind of women I like range from many fields.  Wonder Years actress winnie cooper held my fascination for a while.  Danica McKellar, is a Summa Cum Laude graduate of UCLA with a degree in mathematics. She co-authored a thesis of Percolation and Gibbs State Multiplicity for Ferromagnetic Ashkin-Teller Models in Two Dimensions.  She has a great ass.


Someone told me that Black Swan was a decent movie so I watched it.  Natalie Portman was ok in it. but then I heard she is a graduate of Harvard with a degree in psychology and while a high school student a co-authored  "A Simple Method To Demonstrate the Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen from Sugar."  She jumped up on my scale.  When she had the lesbo action in the movie, she jumped up more.

The always lovely Cindy Crawford has been on my radar for a while.  She attended Northwestern University for a term on a chemical engineering scholarship until she was discovered.  She is also into three ways with George Clooney and his smoking hot fiance.  And Brooke Shields graduated in 1987 graduate of Princeton University, receiving honors in French literature. Both old, but still hot. 

The woman stopped crying and said "I heard Lisa Kudrow got a Biology Degree from an Ivy League School."  I told the woman to shut the fuck up, as this was a conversation of hot smart women.  Phoebe's face looks like a leather jacket with eyes
The woman laughed, and told me she felt better about herself, and was sorry for misreading the article.  I told her that while beauty is enough to let her talk to me, it was her mind I wasn interested in.  She thanked me, and asked me what I was doing later.  I will be doing you later"  I calmly replied. 

And that Sho-nuff, is how you talk shit to a conceited hot woman, make her laugh, and then rack her in the ass within the span of an hour.  I also had a chicken cesar salad.  All and all, I would say it was a good lunch hour. 

The Chooch Punishser
Still not lovin them hoes (Unless they are smart)