Things I think

First off, thanks to those who helped with the offensive jokes.  I can't wait to get drunk and ruin someone's party. And now, here are ten things I think:


1) Chris brown is like a fussy toddler. Smashing things, saying he is past the horrible horrible incident where he Beat Rhianna and was justly and universally hated for it, and insisting that he has fans. I mean, the last thing this freaking guy should be doing is getting mad about anything anymore. “Oh, you ran over my dog? It’s cool, it happens.”Not only does he not want to talk about how he is hated and loathed for beating Rhianna, but he tries to move past it and put the focus back on his CD’S? Is this guy serious? His newest cd is called F.A.M.E (Forgive all my enemies). He named it this because he wants us who judged him as an angry woman-beater, to know he forgives us. This is all he will ever be! “Oh, Chris Brown, the woman-beater, just cured Cancer! Good for him, that's great! Wonder what Rhianna thinks about it?” Try talking to Monica Lewinsky about anything but her blowing Bill Clinton. Pretty damn boring conversation. I don’t care if she has hopes and fears and dreams and shit, so does Rhianna. I am also pretty sure Rhianna dreams of not getting her ass beat by Chris Brown. You shit on her dreams Chris, now I will shit on yours.  Bookmark this post, because I got a feeling we will revist and update this one every few weeks or so, until Chris Brown dies in a police shootout on the L.A freeway.

2) On a cross country flight recently, some airline passengers were surprised to see penguins marching up and down the aisles. A zoo keeper got permission to let the penguins walk around and stretch their flippers, and even took the mic to tell the pleased passengers about the animals. Many photos and videos showed the penguins in good spirits. After the show, the rushed back to their seats in first class. After all, they are not totally black. (SORRY, BUT THIS JOKE WAS ONE OF MY FAVES IN MY MOST OFFENSIVE JOKE IN THE WORLD CONTEST).

3) You know, there are a lot of Germans……..

4) Chris brown is a blond now, and has tattoos over much of his upper body. Reportedly, he is still a trick-ass, bitch –ass, mark-ass trick.

5) Thousands of Japanese bodies wash ashore every day now, and we spent a week wondering about the whereabouts of some lady who was an English teacher that went to a Chicago public school. Are we missing the bigger picture?

6) There is an organization for news reporters who go to hostile foreign countries to report on wars and get kidnapped. I wonder if there is an organization in place for people who routinely pull lion’s tails

7) I did not know why the US attacked Libya; until I was reading an article that Ghadaffi has a billion dollars worth of Gold.

8) Changes to the states retirement system for educators are sending older, more experienced teachers to send in their retirement papers. Way to go, get rid of the seasoned veterans so we can hire inexperienced dumbasses and pay them less and tax them more. This should help us catch the Chinese.

9) American Idol sucks, Jlo sucks, and Randy Jackson has always sucked. They are choosing better talent, having them work with better producers, and better musicians. I believe this is in effort to minimize the stupid comments made by Jlo to the contestants. The show runs smoother when she comments only about hair and fashion. I mean, what the hell does she know about music and singing?

10) Derrick Rose is an absolute monster. Kobe plays on a better team, but Rose’s team is better because he plays on it. And Lebron can shut the fuck up about why he deserves anything. Punk ass actually thought that the HEAT would beloved like the Beatles. I think they are more like DRU Hill. We all know what happened to them after Sisqo went solo with the”thong song.” Wade would be Sisqo, Lebron would be the fat guy with good vocals, and Chris Bosh would be like a roadie or guitar tech. His main contribution would be going “Check, check” and tapping each mic to ensure its working.

11) CBS president Les Moonves said all would be forgiven of Charlie Sheen came back to finish taping 2 and a half men soon. Way to go Les. Overlook his drug/alcohol/racism/porn-addiction/bipolar ways, so you can put a little more cash in your pocket. Is this show the best you got? REALLY? Crazy jews, always looking out for the bottom line. Which reminds me to tell Les Moonves to be careful. I would tell him that there is safety in numbers, but try telling that to 6 million Jews. (Second favorite Offensive Joke, but its hard to find a funny headline about the holocaust. I guess its too soon to laugh about it.)





Jokey Jokemaker
Thinker