I meet a friend for drinks and we drink and talk into the wee hours. I wake up with a sinking feeling that something went wrong and that I drove home drunk again. I rewind back to the part where we started talking about politics and philosophy, and this chick was there (who the hell was she?), and identify the moment I became the asshole-me. I run the situation by a mutual friend and they say, “yeah you can get like that”, and my only response is “Yeah whatever— they still like me”
Every few weeks I collect all of the change in my car in a plastic bag and give it to a bag lady or bag gentleman. Invariably, they always look at the mixture that has more copper than silver like it’s a piece of dog shit and ask if I could spare “a few more bucks”
I attempt to relate a sketch I saw on Youtube to a friend and half way through I begin to sense that it won’t translate and change the subject. They notice. Serves me right for trying to hard to live up to my reputation as "funny fuck."
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