Things I Think I think Vol 5

1)  NFL Analyst and former shitty quarterback Trent Dilfer is a fucking asshole

2)  If the wall street rioters really want to draw attention to their cause, someone needs to get murdered.  Untill then, they are all just a bunch of pussies.  I mean, the do not even yell loud enough for anyone to hear.  I picket sign?  Are you fucking kidding me?  If I m on the 99th floor, i would not even be able to see a freakin BUS, much less a picket sign.  I would laugh evily, stoke my pointed beard, and contemplate whizzing out my window on the protesters, if the cops had not made them move 6 blocks away to protest.  Now, a CEO gets torn to pieces in broad daylight, you got my damn attention

3)  Matt Forte needs, NEEDS to get paid.  Pay him in cash, trident layers gum,whatever the hell he wants.  Just don't let him leave! 

4)  The Apple Iphone 4S is decent.  People still go apeshit for it though, cause it comes in white, or has voice activated whatever thingamabobs.  I can;t wait to be in a crowded area and have some hipster yell out "Iphone, Where are the single, vegan, democrat bitches at?"
5)  There is not a single person in the world, other than Lance Briggs' Lamborghini mechanic who thinks Briggs deserves a contract increase

6)  Props to the skydiving couple who decided to jump naked and screw in the air.  Props to the guy who filmed it.  Props to new and exciting ways to join the mile high club.  Up next, the skydive "I don't know babe, this kind of thing never happens to me."

7)  Props to all the NBA players who had law degrees, MBA degrees, and successfull business ventures to fall back on during the NBA lockout. I fully expect to pay 20 bucks someday, to go down to the local park, to watch a bunch of Giants whup up on some whack ass schoolyard hoopers.  I will watch and scream and jump around when anything remotely athletic is done.  I will also be the first to leave when the NBA'ers starts asking for 25 bucks, instead of 20. 


8)  I am giving up on:  The Eagles, Kevin Kolb, The Giants,  Eli Manning, Peyton Manning,ricky manning, Danny Manning, Dannielle Manning,  Channing Tatum (Just cause his name SOUNDS like manning), Michael Vick, Texas Gov Rick Perry, The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Democrats, Dominoes Pizza, The Obama Jobs Bill, and the new season of Boardwalk Empire. 

9)  Rihanna was smoking hot on the X-Factor.  All it did was renew my anger at Chris Brown.  How could you hit someone so beautiful?  Chris Brown, was recently denied entrance into whatever country the Michael Jackson Tribute concert was held in.  They already do not let him into England because he is a felon.  Poor Chris Brown.  I do not know who attended, where it was, or if it was televised or broadcast on the internet.  I think it was more famous for who did  NOT show up, like any big-name stars. Chris brown somehow managed to fuck EVEN THAT up.  I guess whenever I want to see Chris Brown, I wil tune into the 17th season of celebrity rehab.  My guess is it will feature Brown, Whitney Cummings, some random NBA baby mama, the gay nerdy guy from the big bang theory, Kendra Wilkinson, Heidi Montag, and Chris Tucker.  First episode title:  "Where the fuck did my money go?"

10) I believe that Beyonce hired a surrogate to deliver a baby.  I also believe that she wears a fake stomach pillow, so that a month after the baby is born, she can wiggle her fat ass out there and have idiots say "Look how fast she bounced back into shape."  If I were Jay-Z, I would have pushed to naturally impregnate Rihanna, and buy the baby off of her.  Of course I run the risk if Chris Brown punching my child, unless I move Rihanna to England.  FUCK YOU CHRIS BROWN.