Rants Vol I

I. my colleague wrote an in depth term paper on the geo-economic status of the world, then wondered why I fell asleep. Why is that? Why would I choose to ignore something so clearly serious and important that involves status of not only our country, but social and political temperament across the globe? THATS WHAT WE DO TO SURVIVE. Imagine sitting around and worrying about every dying kid in Africa. Contemplating if that McDonald's I had earlier really did shorten my life span by another 15 minutes. Can't do it. That is how we do in this country and most likely across the globe. We cope. We divert, we delude ourselves because otherwise we would go nuts. More energy is poured into wondering if Lauren Conrad will ever do a sex tape and how long before we could download it. Would it be a good sex tape...NO. She is no pro, but we would still want it.

II. In other news, is Palin really that dumb or are we as a people too harsh? If you fuck up anymore, and ur somewhat famous (staring right at u Kardashian) your life is plastered all over the place for us to judge. It has become our new drug, haterade! Just start knocking people down for whatever soulless reason we can think of. So she may have misspoken, and may not know shit about shit. Does it matter? I mean we obviously we only pay attention because she is 'librarian hot'. Let's cut her a little slack? U never know, a sex tape could surface and you would feel like shit....while watching it of course!

III. So if Obama becomes the next President, does that make the White Sox, the first team? Cub fans, that sound u hear is the alarm signaling the end of your session.

IV. Is someone going to tell Mark Wahlberg he can't act or should I do it? Serious, acting like a stalker in every role you play is not acting. Hayden Christensen is finding that out painfully...well we all are. Please, someone stop him before it is too late.

V. Lil Wayne...really...Wayne..Weezy, Fireman...come on. Let me know for real, if even u think your lyrics are any good. Tight beats though!

VI. you know how great the iPhone is? I treat every other 'cell' phone out there like it is a toy for my son, Lil C, theMAYOR. CI-LO! THE LIL FIREMAN! Side note: he knows the difference and wants my iPhone!

VII. Ok, so the Republicans don't want to raise taxes...who is paying for the Bailout? Did we just legalize weed? We selling something I dont know about? Oh, wait, we're finally collecting on those oil wells we procured in the Middle East? That would sure help! Who is charge of our budget, a college freshman who works at McDs?

VIII. I am mad I don't better understand politics. I mean I am creative and can come up with a whopping fishing tale after another, but these guys are pros. It is like trying to hit a Joba Chamberlain fastball. Fuck spin, these guys are telling lies that our children don't even believe and are totally getting away with it. My kid believes in Santa, but not these jokers.

Joe Six Pack: "No officer, that dime bag belongs to my mom who has glaucoma"
RESULT = Jail!

Elected Official: "THERE ARE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION there..we have to invade....continue this war...we are winning!"
RESULT = 8 years in office.

IX. Why can guys bust each other's balls, to a degree that a stranger overhearing the convo wants to the call cops, but never get upset. Yet a woman says hi with the wrong inflection, and all of a sudden, Blood feuds are declared and Jimmy Carter is called in to hopefully come to some accord with the warring factions. Did a guy do this? Has the male population secretly implanted a poison pill in every woman so that they could never realize they are 51% of the population and, if ever united, would easily overrun the rule of man. Sports would be a tertiary TV option and even then would feature the WNBA and Field hockey. Right now, as of this writing, and in a 4 hour window, I have insulted 4 co-workers so badly, I should arrested for mental abuse, yet there we were having lunch and laughing. Oh crap...let the poison pill secret out of the bag didn't I?

X. Facebook and MySpace users....yeah u with the 100+ friends...really? Really, u attention whores, u have that many people that are 'friends'? You talk all the time, and have bfast on Sunday and talk politics? I don't fucking think so. I am thinking you just started clicking on your HS/College acquaintances and augmented that by taking in all public requests to be added as friends even though u have no idea who that person is. Is this a game to you, to house all these people as 'friends' like you own a piece of their soul. I mean, even I have some people I NEVER TALK TO on Facebook, but at least I know them. A list of 100+, sounds like your compensating for not having any real friends. Sounds like someone needed more hugs growing up, and possibly a loving Mom and Dad. Harsh i know, but this haterade shit is addicting.

...nothin' nothin' u ain't scarin nothin! - lil weezy!

see u in about yeah!
-iz3y!